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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » caretaker?

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Author Topic: caretaker?
ichigo fluff
Member # 24801

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throughout my life i've been hearing all these terms such as "codependant" and "caretaker" and i'm wondering if any of them apply to me. from what it sounds like, it's someone who has this urge to take care of everybody and puts everyone's needs before their own.

and it's weird, because you'd think that'd be a good thing. as it turns out, i seem to be in that position a lot, and it's not good at all. my friends have problems, and i try to help them out, but sometimes there's nothing i can do. if someone is going to cut themselves or do drugs or whatnot, there is only so much you can do to prevent it. it's their choice, after all. i just wish i could do more. i'm so sick of worrying.

i feel like i'm chasing the guy from lucky charms.

Posts: 12 | From: badger state | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23887

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"To please everybody is impossible; were I to undertake it, I should probably please nobody." -George Washington

I am the same way a lot of times. But I am learning that while it is the sign of a good person to put everyone else's needs before your own, you also have to think about number one in your life (yourself!). You can't possibly take care of everyone, and it's not your fault if you can't solve everyone else's problems. Remember that you too are important and you have to take care of yourself as well as the people close to you.

Posts: 72 | From: massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 22524

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My mom says I have a martyr complex in regards to my friends, I do the putting everyones needs before mine... thats until it comes to my family. She says that I'm insane for putting "strangers" before my own blood. She doesnt believe in friendship. I think shes got the martyr thing for her family instead and hates outsiders. Im trying now to treat them (family) the same way I treat my friends so now its even worse.

I keep being afraid of being selfish and I know that people use me because of the way I am. Im even afraid to speak my mind if I know its gonna hurt someone (even if he or she is hurting me). Friends, relationships everythings sucks because I let people who I care for come first so much to the point where they manipulate me without even knowing. When I try to get out of this I find I have no one else because while I do everything for them I never even to anyone else and try to get away from people who try to become friends with me. I know my friends can count on me but it gets to the point where they can count on me to break rules and move mountains for them while I never do that for myself

Posts: 46 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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