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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » GYN appointments and abuse

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Author Topic: GYN appointments and abuse
Member # 23422

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I was abused when I was younger. I'm getting therapy and dealing with it now. I finally decided to start working on it a few months ago when I had my first gynaecological exam. It touched off weeks of causeless panic attacks and a feeling that I don't know how to care for myself. Like I said, I'm getting help now, but I'm still worried about what happens when I go back for an exam next year.

I need help coming up with some things that I can ask the doctor to do or not do to make me feel safe. I tried to rely on jsut not being in my body, but it wasn't enough, and I see that I need to communicate with her to make me feel okay.

Thing is, I have no idea what to ask her to do or not do. If anyone has ideas, I'd really appreciate them. After I get a few, I can tell you what sounds like it would be helpful and what doesn't. I can tell you that one of the things that really messed me up is that she acted like I wasn't even there when she preformed the exam.

Posts: 9 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22471

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I have a friend (in her late twenties, so she's been seeing gynecologists for awhile and has had a couple) who said the best gynecologist she ever had (before she mvoed States) asked HER questions during the exam and while she was doing it, explained everything she was doing.

So, what you could do is ask your gynecologist to explain every bit of the procedure as possible while she's doing it. Not only will this let you know what exactly she's doing down there and so you won't be shocked by anything, but so she'll be more responsive and interactive with you.

That's the only advice I cvan think of at the moment, but hope it's an idea that may help!

Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 11569

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I had a really bad gynecologist experience once and I always get a little nervous and shaky whenever I go back, because even though I know it's important for me to be taking care of my health, I can't help but be worried I'll get an insensitive examiner.

Things that have helped me are taking deep breaths, keeping up a casual conversation with my doctor, asking the doctor to remind me to relax if I start tensing up, and having him or her tell me what they're up to, so I have an idea. I've had great examiners, some very competent ones, and one really inconsiderate one - not too shabby for a five year record! One other thing I tried recently was using a little aromatherapy oil that had fertility/reproductive health qualities. I put a little on my pulse points, and some over my uterus, and just knowing it was there calmed me down a little, so that may be an option for you.

Good for you on getting your health looked after, I know it must be quite difficult. You did say you're getting therapy, but a book I would highly recommend is The Survivor's Guide to Sex by Staci Haines. It's not just about sexuality, but also how to reclaim your own body, which could help you in getting through your PAPs.

Good luck!

Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 24658

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You need to tell the Doc beforehand that you are very nervous, and believe me, he/she will have seen nervous young girls before. I would agree with asking the Doc to talk you through it. I had my first exam about 8 months ago with a really nice nurse who told me everything from what she was doing, to the names of the things she was using. It helped a great deal
Posts: 9 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23422

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Thanks, everyone.

I think before I go I am going to write down some ideas of things that I can ask her to talk about, and ask my friend to clear his schedule for after the appointment in case I need help.

Posts: 9 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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