First of all, in my brain, I completely understand that Plan B is not an abortion. It prevents ovulation, and it hardens some walls and blah blah blah. It's not abortion. It's not abortion. It's not abortion.
Had an accident with a misplaced sponge and it fell out during intercource. Whoops. Things happen. That's why I have $50 in my EC stash. Went to the hospital (it was a holiday so the planned parenthoods were closed >< ) got the Plan B. Our literal "plan b" was going as smoothly as possible.
Except that was in January. And I've been having guilt. Bad guilt. My brain says, "Plan B is NOT medical abortion." But I have nightmares that my boyfriend's precum (he never ejaculated) had super speed sperm that did get into the egg, and that the Plan B pill kept the egg from getting any nutrients from the walls.
I'm pro-choice, but my personal choice is for life. I couldn't have an abortion, it's not for me, I know that I would be going through guilt like this except times 11 because of what I believe. But apparently, the Plan B pill is also something that isn't morally right -for me- to do. My emotions keep telling that that was wrong.
It's enough for me to say that I'm going through a good chunk of the symptoms of PASS, except without the abortion. Because in my weird messed up emotional world, what I did was abortion.
Anyway, I think I'm going crazy. To add insult to injury, I joined a PASS Support Site to see if there was anyone else who had feelings like this about the Plan B pill, but they deleted my post and I got a private message saying that, though she is sure my feelings are real, they're simply nothing what it's like to go through PASS with an abortion.
I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just nuts. Has anyone heard of people having intense guilt after Plan B?
I think the tricky thing is that what sort of guilt you're really dealing with is guilt for using birth control. So, it may be most sensible for you to think about the fact that Plan B is not any different than your sponge is: if it had worked, would you feel guilty? Just food for thought.
But I do think it's always normal enough to have misgivings about preventing conception if part of you does -- now or later -- want to be pregnant. Pregnancy is a big crapshoot, so thinking, for instance, that maybe you prevented the one time you COULD have become pregnant is something that happens; concerns about if you'll get another chance, etc. As well, if you personally feel that any apsect of possible pregnancy -- even preventatively -- should not be interrupted for some reason, then sure, you're bound not to feel right about this.
Just FYI? Plan B doesn't prevent ovulation. It prevents implantation and/or fertilization. And you becoming pregnant at light speed from pre-ejaculate is beyond unlikely.
Does sound, however, like maybe it'd be worth your while to consider if sexual activity with risks of pregnancy is right for you at all, or if the BC method you're using is so wise. Sponges aren't very effective: even adding a condom to the mix would make a huge difference, and is easy as pie to do.
I think its very tempting for people to 'wonder what would have happened' if they made decisions differently. But, bar time travel, its something that is beyond your control now. I have used EC once in the past, and occasionally have silly thoughts about if I'd never used it, like 'Oh my god, i'd have a two year old by now'. If you are using contraception anyway, then I guess its right to assume you don't want kids yet, which is what the EC did, just in a different way from your usual method. I know some of that might have come across abrupt. But, if you think it was a mistake to use EC, don't let it become a regret by not learning from it. Make sure you're not likely to get in that situation again. Use two forms of contraception simultaneously, like the pill and condoms. Hope that helps
Posts: 9 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2005
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