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Author Topic: OUCH
babygirl88
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Member # 9745

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Soooo, I was going to post tonight regarding school. I was going to ask if anyone out there went to a private high school, but transferred to public at some point, and whether they were happy with their choice to do so.
But the issue has grown much deeper and more serious over the past few minutes. Upon looking at some of my "friend"'s livejournals, I have been reduced to tears. They wrote a lot of sh*t about me, using my name and everything. The kids I have been hanging out with for the past 3 years absolutely trash me and I don't know what to do. There's literally no one else to hang out with at my school within my grade because it's such a small school. I never thought that being the person to mediate and avoid drama and stand up for the people being picked on would turn me into the person being picked on. It's all so weird to me. I'm a little blown away right now, I just don't know what to do. Who to tell. Because I feel like nothing I do or say will change the way I'm being treated, or the way these kids view me. It's so strange... If their lives are falling apart or they need something, I'm THE FIRST PERSON THEY COME TO. And I've never turned away from them, ever. I've never been mean to them. It's ridiculous. They never say these things to my face, it's always behind my back. I'm just really scared-- I don't want to be treated like this for the rest of my life.

I would really really appreciate it if anyone had any suggestions. I'd hate to bail on my school because of some cruel people. I feel like I should base my decisions on what's best for myself. If I were to leave next year, I'd feel almost as if these kids had won. I'm feeling very alone at the moment and not liking it very much. I hate how I'm nice to everyone in spite of everything, yet I get treated like dirt.

This somehow makes me really not want to go to school tomorrow...


Thanks.

------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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well, for starters, you can file a complaint against livejournal for libel. i don't think defamatory statements plus identifying info about a minor are compliant with their terms of service. those people won't like you for shutting down their LJ's, but this is a matter of your personal safety.

as for public school, I didn't make the switch, so I don't know. But I went to a fairly small public high school (850 students in grades 9-12). I know how word gets around because I've had things said about me, too.

If people come to you for help, continue to help them. I'm no Christian, but I gotta say the whole "turn the other cheek" and "love thy neighbor" thing is something anyone of any faith could appreciate. Just odn't be a doormat -- if it comes up, definitely tell the person how hurt you've felt lately by the horrible things they've said. And let them know you know what's up. Direct action is a bigtime reality check for people a lot of times.

Have you talked to the school principal or whoever is in charge of discipline? You should mention that you are being harassed.

Lastly, high school doesn't last forever, and you will find that the rest of the world isn't so cruel. Yeah, you'll meet other jerks along the way, and the universe is kinda cruel in its own right. But it's nothing like high school. I was a freshman ten years ago, and I still run into some of the folks I knew then. The ones who were mean aren't mean anymore. In fact, I know a lot of them are pretty embarrassed for the way they acted. They might not have apologized for their juvenile ehavior, but they sure play it off like they never did it, with just a glint of guilt in their eyes.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
windycityskacore
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Well, as a person continually picked on in jr. high/early high school and persevered, I can only really suggest the same as Gumdrop Girl...let it roll off you...bounce back...I mean, it's pretty obvious advice to just say "distance yourself from these people..." but start doing that. Don't offer your valued advice to them, don't eat lunch with them, don't go out of your way to do stuff with them. Don't be outwardly UNFRIENDLY to them (in fact, BE FRIENDLY to them...) but don't give them any of your time.

They might still talk behind your back and might even start being more unfriendly to your face, but it's important that you have recognized that these aren't good friends. You don't need these people...I also know how frustrating it can be to go to a smaller school and have a limited selection of chums (class of 76 students right here...). But to also reiterate some of Gumdrop Girl's wise advice...high school ends (thank goodness) and things change really quick...

But here's what I really felt like responding to...why do you think changing schools would be a "defeat?" Wouldn't making youself more comfortable be better for you? Wouldn't finding a better set of friends, ones that appreciate you, be better in the long run? If I were you, I wouldn't think of it in terms of letting thse kids "win..." because it's not that at all...it's recognizing a better choice and being strong enough to make that choice...

I have had friends who've moved from private to public school (I apologize for responding even though I haven't shared this experience...) and I have heard both devistating and rewarding things about it...I bet if you went into it with a positive mindset, as if you had made a choice that is beneficial for youself, then it could be QUITE rewarding...

Well, I've spilled out a bathtubful here...I hope something in it helps. Finally, I, too, am WAY too nice to people who treat me like crap and exploit my friendship with them...it runs in my family, I think. It's hard but you can be assertive without being a jerk...I've been working on it lately. It takes some introspection and effort, but it's possible...Anyway, good luck with everything an I hope it all works out!

------------------
...or is that just me being naive
again?


Posts: 49 | From: Chillinois, USA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babygirl88
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Thanks for your responses.

It just hurts so much.

People I never thought would say these things about me ARE. It makes me feel as if no one likes me, although this is not true. URGH

Who should I reach out to?

I really hope I'm not exposed to people like this for the rest of my life.

------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babygirl88
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Member # 9745

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It's just killing me inside...

I don't want to talk to anyone anymore

In school, I don't talk to anyone in my grade anymore

I don't want to meet new people anymore

I don't trust anyone anymore

And I don't want to go to my school anymore.

I just went online for the first time in a long time and one of the kids who wrote bad things about me in his livejournal sent me two viruses over AIM.

URGH


------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
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If you know the guy's screen namr you can repot the virus sending to AOL and they can take legal action based on this IP address. Take action, you don't need to suffer from this!

Have you talked to your parents or a counselor about this? Your parents especially may be a wise choice in case there's a chance you could switch schools. It is definitely true that you cannot perform well in school or suceed if you are uncomfortable in the school situation, for your benefit you should really talk to them about the possibility of another schooling option.


Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babygirl88
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Hey, thank you for responding.

I was inteding to go talk with my parents about this, but they're asleep...

They KNOW what's going on. I've let them know every detail of it. Stupid as it sounds, I've been involving them on purpose because I'm scared. I'm scared of what else these kids will do and I'm scared because they're hurting me so much and it makes me feel like crap.

This has been ongoing for a while. The thing is, for a long time I was fooled by my hopefulness and forgiveness into thinking that things would indeed get better. I'd confront these people, and the school guidance counselor even met with one of the girls I was having problems with. Everything was supposed to be fine.

Every year I consider switching schools. I don't think it's supposed to feel this way.

I go to a private school right now, for the education. Next year will be my Senior year of HS.... Therefore, it would be difficult to transfer to another private school. I'm scared of this happening all over again, wherever I go. Which is stupid because school is the only place this type of thing has EVER happened to me.

Every time in the past I have mentioned switching schools, my parents made me feel SO badly. They made me feel like a failure, like I wasn't trying hard enough. They tell me to focus on academics only. That's not possible- PEOPLE are social creatures. Social interaction is a part or not only school, but life.

I've spoken with my school's guidance counselor about this. I now go to him on my own accord. I plan on skipping classes next week and talking to him instead.I just can't stomach much more of this.

------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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