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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » in an abusive relationship.. cant get out.. HELP!

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Author Topic: in an abusive relationship.. cant get out.. HELP!
Member # 23002

Icon 4 posted      Profile for cheeky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i dont know if this is an abusive relationship or not. okay. my best friend lives a couple houses away from me and we've been close for a couple months. he says he's always really jealous of my boyfriend because my bf can have me and he cant. if i do something to upset him he gets pissed off and sometimes spits on me, slaps me, or hits me tho he has never bruised me. i ask him why he did it and he just says it was a joke. i tell him to stop but he never does. my boyfriend is really mad that i'm still hanging out with this guy because of what he does to me. everytime my best friend brings up something like, "oh i wish i could **** you right now but ur going out with someone else. if only i was hotter and you loved me we could have sex all the time." i tell him to shutup because it makes me uncomfortable. but he never stops. i still want to be his friend but i dont want him to treat me like this and i dont want him to be jealous and hate my boyfriend. i dont want my boyfriend and i to break up because of this jerk. i know you guys cant really do anything to make him stop, but it would be good if i gave me advice on how i could try to get him to slow down and eventually quit it. thanks a lot for your help i HIGHLY appreciate it.


Posts: 26 | From: miami beach fl usa | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Not that i really feel like i know much of the situation here but ... HOW is this guy you're friend? Do all of your friends treat you like this?

You need to drop this guy, and fast. Tell him you don't appreciate being spit on, hit, slapped, etc, and that you need a break to re-evaluate the friendship. Then you stop accepting his phone calls, ignore any letters or emails, and stop seeing him. Tell your parents and your boyfriend what he's been doing to you, and that you're blocking him from your life right now. You'll need their support.

If this continues or gets any worse, call the police. What he's doing to you is illegal.

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23017

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from what you say..... it sounds like this guy is either just a huge *** that wants to get into your pants, or he doesnt really realize what he is doing. I no that sometimes people can be really mean without knowing it, and maybe this guy just doesnt realize his strength. I also no that i have seen some of my friends bother girls a lot and they actually thought they were just compimenting them. This guy saying he wants to get into your pants may just be his weird way of complimenting you.

I think you really need to talk to this person and tell them how much it really annoys you. The most important thing from my own experience is to stay calm while you say this, because getting angry will only give the other person a reason to ignore your entire point.

Try to fix this problem because losing a great friend that can be at your side at any time is not something you want to do, but you should not let this problem consume you either. I hope you can come to a solution soon.

Posts: 1 | From: ithaca, ny, us | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 22661

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So what if he didn't bruise you? That makes it no less wrong for him do do that and no less illegal either. Whatever the circumstances may be there is absolutely NO reason for you to allow yourself to be assaulted and no matter how you may try to minimize this this guy assaulted you. Some of what he did might even be considered sexual harrassment. This guy seems totally unsafe to be with and if I were you I wouldn't stick around to see if it happens again or if he does something worse.

You catch more flies with manure than you do with honey.

[This message has been edited by lizenny (edited 04-17-2005).]

Posts: 110 | From: Worcester MA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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