Hello everyone I suffer from depression. I usually feel it, as in almost every day, to varying degrees throughout the day. Given the situation I was born into, I'm fairly certain this was environmentally caused- My birth mother was very abusive (physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally). Her boyfriends, whom I was often left home alone with, were very abusive toward me as well (not toward my mom... lucky me! so targeted). My parents got divorced when I was a mere 7, and I lived with my mother until 12 years of age, at which point I moved in with my dad, my new stepmom, and my older sister. That was 5 years and 4 months ago. I haven't seen my mom since. Things get a lot more complicated than that. However, I just want to share enough to get my point across; This is all that really needs to be known at face value, I think. I've always delt with depression- it's tragic, but I remember feeling this way as a very very very tiny child. I see a therapist, but she seems a little... spacey/ wishy-washy/ hypocritical. Perhaps I'm being too critical. I appreciate everything she does for me but she seems to almost look past the fact that I opened up to her about feeling depressed most of the time. Anyways, I have been fighting these feelings of worthlessness, loneliness and just about every other negative adjective, for a loooonngggg time. In ways, it's been working, I guess. But recently it's gotten really bad. And my lack of sleep due to school work, coupled with my lack of free time due to going to a private school AND having a job that I work 18 hours a weekend, have NOT HELPED, to say the least!!! I've opened up to my parents, I've opened up to mulitple sources. And again I digress to my previous conclusion that it is up to solely one person to help me: Myself. Does anybody else out there suffer from depression? I'm leary about medication, and I don't think it's the answer. I think the best way to work through any issue is just that- by working through it. Right now though I actually feel o.k. and I'm trying to think of ways to catch myself at times when I am about to fall into a deep, dark depressive state. Because anybody who has suffered from this knows that it's no fun. If anybody has any good ideas or suggestions on how to stay realistic but not depressed, or just wants to offer out some helpful words, it would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!
------------------ "It's something unpredictable but in the end is right i hope you had the time of your life"
I have "depression" and high anxiety. When I found out I was pregnant (a year ago), I stopped taking my Zoloft right way.. During my pregnancy, I went through a lot, but managed to keep my head relatively above water - and kept myself safe with the thought of my son's safety. There were times when I believed I needed to start my midication, but again, I had to think about my son, take a deep breath, and talk to my sister-in-law.
After my son was born, I had mild to moderate anxiety attacks again. I also developed post-pardum depression. I also see a "wishy-washy" SOCIAL WORKER, she rather poses as a psychiatrist. I don't trust her, as she has proven unworthy in the past 9 years that I've been seeing her.
The doctor that perscribed me the Zoloft has relocated, and I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about this - I wasn't brought up able to talk about that sort of thing.
I'm stuck, and have realized, just like you that I am my only hero. Heh..
I'm so priviledged, though to have my baby's father with me, whom I do feel comfortable with. He and his family (brothers and in-laws) have given me support and space as I've needed it. Although, at times I wonder if it would help to get "professional" help that I trust.
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