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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » had an abortion? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: had an abortion?
Gumdrop Girl
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well, for future reerence, it's your right to ask whatever concerns you have. if you have a question, jot it down on some paper and make a list of things you want to know. then when you get ot the clinic, you ask the clinician if you can talk to them right quick and you read off the list of Q?s you have on the paper.

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nikkibeei1185
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definitely go to the dr, why wait? just go to be sure everything is okay.. you definitely should not be still bleeding, i only bled for about 9 days... if something is wrong it is better to find out sooner so they can give you meds or fix anything than later when its too late...not to scare you, but just go so they can help you out and you wont have to worry constantly
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pharmarep
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Hi Dotta,

I took the clinical abortion route last May. The procedure included orally taking one pill that actually ends the pregnancy by stopping the production of progesterone in the body. I recieved 4 other pills to insert vaginally two days later that caused my body to expel the fetus, a clinically enduced miscarriage. I also received two other prescriptions, one for pain and the other for nausea. Please note: they were nowhere near strong enough for what I endured.

I was with my boyfriend at the time, and the pain I felt after the inserts was the worst I've ever felt...and I've had an appendicitis. They warned me that cramping was expected, but I did not hear about the kind I experienced. About 3 hours after inserting the 4 additional pills, I experienced dry heaves and cramping that I thought I would avoid by going the clinical route. My blood pressure dropped dangerously low and I had my boyfriend call for an ambulance because I could not make the ride to the hospital without pain meds. The ambulance came and even though the attending hospital physician gave the "ok" for morphine to be administered before I arrived, the EMTs had to wait until my blood pressure was high enough before giving it to me intravenously. I received 2 doses of morphine that afternoon in addition to other powerful pain meds, Vicodin and Darvocet. After I arrived, I received an internal ultrasound, where an instrument is inserted in the vagina to survey my uterus and other reproductive organs.

Two weeks later, I developed a life-threatening blood clot in my left thigh, even though I've never taken medicine that would cause one. Additionally, I developed a vaginal infection and a urinary tract infection as well. I've been on blood thinners for the last 7 months and will be for another 5. I'm not sure how common my complications are among clinical abortions with RU 486, but I would personally advise against it. Even though the physical pain was awful, the emotional trauma I've dealt with has been, unimaginably, more difficult.


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Heather
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Those aren't typical, pharmarep. (I'd actually be willing to bet a couple aren't related.) So sorry you had to go through them all the same.

Typically, my advice for women seeking abortion is still surgical, rather than medical abortion, for some of the reasons you listed: how scary some of that can be without a doctor or nurse present who knows what's going on (and being scared will always increase pain in any situation), because the level of bleeding and cramping can be unpredictable, etc. Surgical abotion remains a far more predictable, less chaotic procedure.

I'm glad another option is out there, certainly, but between the two options, at this point in time I'd still say surgical abortion is far preferable.


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dotta
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pharmarep omg! i am soooooo sorry to hear that!!! i had the surgicle and things seemed to have went well so far.... the only thing that i want to do as of now is...go to church and confession because im not an avid church goer but i used to be....and it kills me a lil' bit inside....and the second thing i want to do is go to a gyno. because right on the outside of my vagina kinda on my clitoris feels like a lil' bruise sort of...it just feels kinda sore and stings sometimes when i pee or put water on it after sex. does anyone know the general first time gyno visit cost?
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morninsun86
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quote:
Originally posted by BabyGirl205:
how far along are you? if you are not father than 3 or 4 months than really your not killing the baby because it really isnt a baby yet so yeah.


O My gosh! You could not be more wrong! From the minute you concieve the sperm in which meets the egg, (we all know the story, so i won't continue) there is a human life in you. So you are soo wrong when you say that you aren't really killing the baby if you are finishing your first trimester.

Personally, I'm really against the whole abortion deal. I mean if it's a serious thing your pregnant, like it's a matter of living at home, or living on your own, or another serious issue like that, I guess that abortion is all right. But really it isn't. You made an adult decision to have sex, so now it's (the baby) you responsiblitly to take care of it.

Sorry if this affened any of you, but I think really strongly about this. (I've always been astrong debator.!!)

[This message has been edited by morninsun86 (edited 01-13-2005).]


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wobblyheadedjane
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Whoa there morningsun. I hope you remember the guidelines you agreed to when you signed, but here's a quick refresher: Scarleteen is, and always has been a pro-choice site. That means our users should feel safe to talk about any choice they wish to make, and not feel attacked or judged. It's fine to have your own opinions on abortion, but it's not cool here to tell people what their responsibilities are or aren't. Okay?
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logic_grrl
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quote:
From the minute you concieve the sperm in which meets the egg, (we all know the story, so i won't continue) there is a human life in you. So you are soo wrong when you say that you aren't really killing the baby if you are finishing your first trimester.

This thread is not the place to be having an abortion debate, but here is a brief public service announcement to correct some basic facts:

A fertilized egg is human tissue, and a potential human being, certainly.

But even at the very end of the first trimester, the fetus is barely a few inches long and has no capacity to feel pain - or indeed feel anything, as it doesn't have anything like a functioning cortex.

It does not in any way, shape or form resemble a "baby" (if anything, it mostly resembles a large kidney bean).


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christinejones
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thanks logic......
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christinejones
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and i'm gonna add (not sure if this is the right place or how acceptable this viewpoint is gonna come across) but i think it is worth putting this out there...

i definitively wanted an abortion - from the moment i found out i was pregnant to the moment of the termination all i had in my head was the thoughts 'i don't want this'... 'i don't accept that i am pregnant'... 'it is a horrible mistake' 'stop it/finish it' 'make it not happen' etc. etc.

having said all that i was hit by huge guilt afterwards (not before) and just like dotta i wanted to go to a church because i could no longer pray. i always used to start my prayers with the lord's prayer - from a child almost as if that were the address on the letter... and after the abortion i couldn't get beyond the first line i'd stutter and stop.

i don't regret my decision but i don't want to minimise the fact that i felt GUILT and at my worst times i also felt like i had stained my soul that i could never make up for what i had done - no matter what penance i tried that was it, i was damned for good --- straight to hell for me.

this is how it was for me - it's not something i ever showed on the outside to anyone or even something that i felt at all times... i was enormously relieved not to be pregnant but the two emotions are capable of co-existing.

i don't in any way regret my decision and part of my problem with 'god' as it were - was that i couldn't genuinely regret it. given the same situation i would make the same decision again absolutely so how could i repent of it truly? i couldn't.

it is an issue i guess that is skirted around a little bit but it is there (for some people or for me at least) and worth pointing out i think.

all the best

[This message has been edited by christinejones (edited 01-15-2005).]


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Heather
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Christine, I thought you might want to know that most statistics I've seen on abortion show that around 70% of all abortions are performed for catholic and Christian women.

And not sure of your deonmation, but the following site may be of interest: http://www.catholicsforchoice.org/


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christinejones
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thanks miz scarlet - i am protestant by birth and education but it was great to read the site and get other viewpoints on this issue. thanks very much.
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christinejones
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ah well - here i am back again.... just cos i found this when looking at the menorhaggia (whatever) site and it caught my eye so thought to put it in as is interesting and perhaps a bit relevant to the thread too:

Background: In the United States and worldwide, elective termination of pregnancy remains common. Accurate statistics have been kept since the enactment of the 1973 US Supreme Court decisions legalizing abortions. Since then, approximately 1.3-1.4 million abortions have been performed annually in the United States. Worldwide, some 20-30 million legal abortions are performed annually, with another 10-20 million abortions performed illegally (see The Alan Guttmacher Institute). Illegal abortions are unsafe and account for 13% of all maternal mortality and serious complications. Death from abortion is almost unknown in the United States or in other countries where abortion is legally available.

In spite of the introduction of newer, more effective, and more widely available contraceptive methods, more than half of the 6 million pregnancies occurring each year in the United States are considered unplanned by the women who are pregnant. Of these pregnancies, approximately half end in elective terminations. Abortion is still one of the most common medical procedures performed in the United States each year, and more than 40% of all women will have a pregnancy terminated by abortion at some time in their reproductive lives.

and on the psychological level, which i was kinda referring too earlier, the site pretty much described the same emotions that i went through of relief and guilt together - but although i talked a lot about the termination because it was a relief to talk about it and kinda share it... i think i remember only talking to one person about the fact that i felt i had become a murderer, i had taken a life, was a bad person (a little and not really but yeah it was there) this is not meant to be inflammatory or anti-choice either btw - i don't believe it or didn't even then but it was a thought that did go through my head - might as well be honest about it.

i always have been a bit bad person anyway and am always trying to be better - i wanted to be a nun when i was younger even!!! ... but 'the road to hell is paved... all that definitely applies to me! Anyway here is what the site had to say and i thought it was kinda positive:

Psychologic consequences of abortion

Generally, the psychological health of the abortion patient parallels her psychologic health prior to seeking an abortion. If the woman needed to have the abortion in secrecy, then long-term psychologic sequelae, such as intrusive thoughts, are more common.

Many studies have actually demonstrated improved psychological well-being after abortion. For the studies that have shown this, the improvement in psychological health is suggested to be more reflective of the patient dealing with the social issues that led her to select abortion.

Sometimes, confusion over normal emotions, such as sadness and grief versus psychological illnesses (eg, depression), seems to occur. The most common feeling experienced after an abortion is that of relief and confidence in the decision. Few women may experience feelings of grief and guilt postabortion, and these feelings usually pass within days to weeks in most cases and do not lead to psychological sequelae. One study demonstrated that the risk for serious psychiatric illness postabortion was 1%, whereas with live birth it was 10%. Few studies on these data exist, partly because studies performed earlier gave no indication for psychiatric sequelae so no new findings have been researched. Considering that more than 1.5 million abortions are performed in the United States each year, if an epidemic of psychiatric sequelae due to the procedure occurred, it would be observed by now

the site then went on to talk more on rape/incest/ and the emotional consequences in those cases but i didn't include this....
all the best


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Heather
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I think, Christine, it's safe to say that for most women, no matter WHAT choice is made, pregnancy tends to be a very big deal emotionally.

And yes, depression, feelings of profound confusion, identity issues, feelings of guilt, the whole banana are incredibly common after many wome give birth and begin to parent, so these feelings are not an issue with just one choice, but often, with any of them.

And yes, most pregnancies are unplanned, and the statistics for that generally don't show a huge spread between younger women and older women: the data I've seen over the years only has unplanned pregnancies slightly higher in younger women than their elders.


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dotta
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quote:
Originally posted by christinejones:
For the studies that have shown this, the improvement in psychological health is suggested to be more reflective of the patient dealing with the social issues that led her to select abortion.


i totally feel that because before my abortion i cried and cried because i had let my parents down...did everything i possible could to disappoint them....ex. dating out of my race, getting pregnant, having to lie about dating out of my race..and etc. After my abortion i didnt cry anymore but had a veil of guilt and disappointment in myself over my head. things are getting better but i feel like god punishes me sometimes, and like christine said i have paved a path straight to hell.


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morninsun86
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But even at the very end of the first trimester, the fetus is barely a few inches long and has no capacity to feel pain - or indeed feel anything, as it doesn't have anything like a functioning cortex.

It does not in any way, shape or form resemble a "baby" (if anything, it mostly resembles a large kidney bean).[/B][/QUOTE]

So! it's still a baby!


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Heather
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No, medically and biologically, it is not an infant or baby. It is a fetus, and that is a very different thing.

Please review this announcement, morninsun, and take heed. Consider it a last warning per your responses here. You keep going here on this, your posts will be deleted and your posting privledges removed.


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dotta
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quote:
Originally posted by morninsun86:
I mean if it's a serious thing your pregnant, like it's a matter of living at home, or living on your own, or another serious issue like that, I guess that abortion is all right. But really it isn't. You made an adult decision to have sex, so now it's (the baby) you responsiblitly to take care of it.

and like you said...if you are not able take care of this living thing inside of you...you can also make an adult decision to not have the baby, which would be better than bringing that living thing into this world and not giving it the life it deserves. This is about what the baby needs.


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Why me?
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i know thatn it might be a little too late to say this, and i don{t know it would help in anything. But well the ... well baby is not considered alife after the 6 moth I think which is when the heart stars to funcion properly.

[This message has been edited by Why me? (edited 01-21-2005).]


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logic_grrl
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quote:
But well the ... well baby is not considered alife after the 6 moth I think which is when the heart stars to funcion properly.

Incorrect. It may or may not count as a human being or a person, but even a very early embryo is certainly "alive" at least in the sense that it's living tissue.

And in fact, a fetus has a functioning heart from quite early on - the heart starts beating around the 5th or 6th week of pregnancy, I believe - even though it couldn't survive outside the womb until many, many months later.

I understand that you're trying to be supportive, but posting factual misinformation doesn't help.

And, as I've already pointed out, a first-trimester fetus doesn't remotely resemble a "baby".


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Why me?
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ok i stan corrected thx for the correction.
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Londongirl
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Hi Dotta, just found this thread today as I haven't been here much for a while. I totally support your decision to have an abortion.

Just noticed that you haven't posted whether you got the bleeding sorted out, and wondering whether you are OK now?

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Londongirl
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Who the **** is Londongirl?

[This message has been edited by Londongirl (edited 01-23-2005).]


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dotta
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Well Londongirl, thanks for asking....everything was fine.the reason i bled so much was because i bled right into my period. Things are cool now.I'm on my period right now and i'm like "yes!". I'm happy about my choice
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christinejones
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hey dotta - glad to hear all well with you.

ya know i reckon (per one of your earlier posts) that this has become almost an abortion forum by default.... so i thought might as well cover everything an explain how the accidental pregnancy occured in the first place. like did your condom break; did you just take a risk with unprotected sex; did birth control fail or whatever?

with me, it was just pure ignorance pretty much. i wasn't having penetrative sex. it was just mutual masturbation and i wasn't aware specifically of any of his 'cum' going over my genitals but then it was a long weekend (before i was off traveling) of staying in bed all day and just getting up to eat and potter about - i guess we had sex (masturbation) eight or nine times plus over the weekend and he probably came all over my body at one time or another so perhaps it wasn't so surprising....... in the end.

it was just a full weekend of sex and wandering around with no clothes on and eating and more sex - nothing much else but i had just finished my period too so i never thought there was any likelihood of getting pregnant cos i was under this crazy misapprehension that there had to be penetration for that to happen. well, i know better now - that's for sure.

[This message has been edited by christinejones (edited 01-25-2005).]


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dotta
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well my unplanned pregnancy came about two and a 1/2 months ago. Before this whole thing happened my method of birth control was taking the pill. at the time i had finished my last package of pills and waited too long to go in and get the birth control. In the time I wasn't on birth control (month at the most)I had gotten pregnant. Before I even took the first pregnancy test I could tell. It was a weird feeling in me. At first it just felt like my period was about to come but then after a few weeks I felt bloated all the time...moodier...and my boobs got real dense. So I took like 5 pregnancy tests right after eachother and they all came out positive. A day later i took another one at the grocery store and went straight to my boyfriends house to show him. Speachless. no speaking for like 15 minutes . Then hugging. After we calmed down We started looking in the phonebook for abortion clinics and called for information. I was 6 weeks pregnant before i had the abortion and in that 6 weeks i sometimes kinda liked the motherly thing. Knowing that I'm able produce things. ha idk. It will definatly be something i will want and be able to provide for in the future.
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Londongirl
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Good to know you are in good health Dotta. Realised now that I somehow managed to read only part of page 2. Never mind, good to hear of your continued health anyway.

And between you and Christine and various other contributors, this has become an interesting and informative thread imho.

------------------
Londongirl
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Who the **** is Londongirl?

[This message has been edited by Londongirl (edited 01-25-2005).]


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NoRegrets
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dotta and christine...

I had an abortion almost 10 yrs ago. I too felt the guilt and sadness you feel. I think as women we all are maternal (some barely, but it's there). You find out you're pregnant and those feelings kick in. As time passes you'll heal emotionally, but here's some things to help you along:

(1) Volunteer with kids. It will help with a lot of different feelings. You can play and enjoy yourself on a whole different level. One thing it will definitley do is reinforce how much WORK children are. Most people get caught up in the romance of having a baby. Taking it to the park, buying cute clothes, etc... but remember with that comes crying, no sleep, dirty diapers, barfing... do I need to go on? I loved my volunteer work but boy-oh-boy was it a lot of work. I did it for 7 yrs and only stopped because I got a job that conflicted with my schedule.

(2) If you need it, get counseling. I buried a lot of feelings for a long time and it came crashing down on me pretty hard and fast about 2 yrs later. I can't honestly say that my therapist helped me all that much with my feelings, but I learned how to open up and examine myself. There are a lot of free crisis centers and counseling services out there. Also a lot of support groups. USE THEM!!!

(3) This one is a little preachy, but I care about you gals, so I have to say it... never be without protection. I think one of the things that made me crazy was fear of getting pregnant again by accident. Eliminate this fear and you'll do yourself a favor. I just got married this year for the first time and my husband knows about the abortion and the emotional toll it took on me. We don't want children (has nothing to do with the procedure) so we are EXTRA SPECIAL CAREFUL not to get pregnant. Use 2 forms if you have to (condom for him... whatever your pleasure for you - I use condom friendly spermicide). Use them every time and make sure you use them properly. I now know how important it is to take the measures needed and so do you.

(4) Forgive yourself. Don't keep beating yourself up for it. When I read your posts, it broke my heart because I've been there. We are not bad... we made mistake and then a choice that was the best for us and for a child that we would have been bringing into the world. When you are ready, and if you still want to, you can have children. As for religion, I was raised Roman Catholic. I like to think of God as a loving and forgiving God, not a vengeful one.

Good luck to you both and PLEASE take care of yourselves.


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dotta
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NoRegrets, thank you for sharing your advice to all of us. it was the perfect post for an ending like this.

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