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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I just....

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Author Topic: I just....
Economist
Neophyte
Member # 20431

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...wnted to get everything that's on my mind out. There's no better place to do it then here, where no one knows me, and where no one will find me...

To cut to the chase, today I found out (well, I knew before but was never confronted with it) that my bf of one year who is 11years older then me is a criminal. He's involved in all sorts of illegal buisness, but somehow that didn't touch me the most, the fact that he has been cheating on me all this time and never had the guts to admit it was the worst.
I'm not from the U.S. and where I live news travells fast. In short everyone around me knew what's going on excapt me.
I know I need to get out of this. I just don't know how, I'm scared to death of him and what he might do. He tells me everyday that I'm his only reason for living, that he loves me to death and that he couldn't live without me...How do you deal with that?
I'm aware of the fact that this doesn't maybe sound half as bad on paper as it is in real life, but Scarleteen has always been there before to listen if nothing, and that's exactly what I need right now...

Thank you.


Posts: 2 | From: LJubljana, Slovenia | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This most certainly does sound bad.

To get out of a potentially dangerous relationship safely you'll need some support.

Friends, family: you want to ask all those people for help. if you think your physical safety wil be endangered leaving, getting the authorities involved is also a good idea.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Economist
Neophyte
Member # 20431

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Do you think he's honest when he tells me he couldn't live without me? I don't want him to hurt himself...
Posts: 2 | From: LJubljana, Slovenia | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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"But I can't live without you," should be the official t-shirt for emotional abusers everywhere.

Really. You'd be hard-pressed to find one line more overused by people looking to manipulate partners, because all too often, they fall for it completely.

He did for a long time before he met you. He will afterwards. And people who say that sort of thing are often the very LAST people who hurt themselves: much more often, they're inclined to hurt everyone besides themselves instead.

You are not supposed to be a partner's parent or their caretaker.

Right now, you are with someone who you have said is not only cheating on you, and has not only lied to you, but who is a criminal.

He shouldn't be your primary concern. YOU should be your primary concern.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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