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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Inadequacy

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Author Topic: Inadequacy
Member # 19838

Icon 13 posted      Profile for Zenga89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm a 16/m. As of this writing, I have not kissed a girl, not had a girlfriend (2) over a month, and am currently single (surprise). I always seem to be stuck in conversations between friends who enjoy talking about their successes w/ girls, getting to 3rd or w/e, and I just sit there feeling doomed. I know that I have a long time to go, and that everyone tells me "youll find em, dont worry" but whenever I think abuot it (like now) I begin bumming and just sitting at home. I'm ok-fair when dealing with girls, but whenever I like one, or think about asking her out etc., I just get frsutrated/anxiete'ed and eventually just give up, figuring whats the point and that it'll never work out (long history of failures and other similar instances), because I'm me and I'm inadequate and can't deal with this kind of stuff. *Big sigh* I don't want to be like this forever. Advice needed/appreciated.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 18959

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When you find a girl you want to go out with try to get to know her a little bit before you ask her out. (I don't know if that's what you do already but if it isn't then that could be part of the problem) Don't worry about asking her out right away, if you get to know her you'll have a better idea on how she'd react when you asked her out.
Anyway my current boyfriend is almost 19 and before me he never had a girlfriend so don't worry about not having kissed a girl before.

Good Luck

[This message has been edited by GlassTears (edited 09-08-2004).]

Posts: 39 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7542

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You know what Im sure we all have felt the way you do! and truth is I'm 19 and I have never had bf. And you bet there is days when im stuck between friends gabbing about there love lifes but the truth is, when it comes down to it being single can be pretty damn fun! you can do something things that couples can't and you have the freedom do many things without the hassel. I know you may be feeling lonley and it is a drag but things will perk up just remind yourself that it will happen and ALWAYS rememeber it could be worse, just keep your eyes open and when you find a good girl you will know and chances are you might not even get nervous


Posts: 79 | From: CaNaDa | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 18892

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I know how you feel. I'm 16, too, and though I have dated a few people I've never had sex. When we were in 9th grade, I was open to the idea of having sex with the right person, while my two best friends said that they could not see themselves having sex in the near future. They called themselves "sex-phobic". Two years later, they're both in serious relationships, having sex, and frequently reminding me that I have no idea what it's like.

I sometimes feel like it will be like this forever, but I don't really believe that. We are, after all, only 16--we have plenty of time in high school and college left to explore these things, if indeed we choose to. We don't need to have sex or relationships to complete us as people.

On the other hand, you'll never know until you ask. If you want a relationship with someone, you should talk to them. There's no reason to reject possibilities before you've tried them. (Although this is definitely easier said than done.)

It might help you if you worked on getting over some of the insecurities you have. You're not inadequate or undeserving--keep telling yourself that, because it's true.

Posts: 106 | From: New York, NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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