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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Brother...

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Member # 19523

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Ok, so i have this totally kick butt brother whos exremely cool. he just turned 19! wahoo! lol. anyways a few months ago he told me he was gay! i allready knew (i could tell) but he hasnt told our parents yet..i know this sounds kind of selfish but i really need him to tell them for my sake! my mom and dad and stepmom are always asking if jake has a new girlfriend, or if he likes a new girl or stuff like that, and i really dont know what to say to them! i never lie to my parents and this is getting hard! im keeping it a secret for my brother but i really think he needs to tell them soon, ive talked to him about it and he says he'll do it in his own good time, and thats fine...but maybe he doesn;t know how? i think my mom is kind of suspecting that hes gay because in the car the other day she was talking about having grandchildren. she said "I know I'll probably have to wait until you have kids to have grandchildren because I don't think Jake will have kids, unless he adopts" i didnt say anything to her, because i didnt know if maybe she was trying to get me to tell her something or if she just thinks he wont get married and have kids? ive talked to my brother before and he says he's definitly going to adopt..but thats nott the point..i just...does anybody have any suggestions to help me help him? maybe some ideas to help him come out to our parents? thanks
Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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I understand your concern for your brother, but really, this is HIS business. Coming out to people is not an easy thing, and he's got to be careful about who, when and how he drops the big news. Your brother is probably afraid of what's going to happen between your parents and him, and because of that, he's putting a LOT of thought into how he's going to discuss the matter with them. You can be a good li'l sister by asking him about his concerns about telling your folks, and try to work through them gently. But also as a good li'l sis, you gotta keep your mouth shut and not out your brother to your folks. If you blab, and they're upset, it's oging to drive a huge wedge between your brother, you and your family. it's going to be an ugly scene.

So talk to your brother, and assure him that he can trust and confide in you.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 19523

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hey, thanks for the advice...i just talked to my brother last night and it turns out he has a boyfriend of 3 weeks! im so happy for him, and i realize now that it doesnt matter who knows or not....all i wanna do now is meet this boy and make sure hes good enough for my brother!
Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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