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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Scared....

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Author Topic: Scared....
Mindy T
Neophyte
Member # 19119

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I'm 15yrs old and i just found this web site. I think i am the most confused person about what is too far. I've been kinda seeing this guy and he wants to do "stuff" and i just keep thinking holy crap i'm not ready for any of this. I wont even let him touch my "privet parts" because i'm scared of not being a vergin. I'm scared of what i'm going to do because i want it to happen but i dont want it to! I am so confused and scared of what he'll say. I just need to talk to someone about this but nobody seems to understand where i'm comin from or what i mean...Please help me i dont know what to do! Thankyou sooo much for reading this please PLEASE help me.
Posts: 4 | From: Johnstown PA America | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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before anything else, stop and listen to YOU. You're saying you aren't ready, so you aren't. And that's FINE.

If he can't deal with that, well then, yanno, you weeded out someone unsuitable for you from the get-go. if you can't feel okay even talking to him about it yet, that's yet another indicator that no, you're not ready and you need to slow down to stay at a pace that's right for YOU.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mindy T
Neophyte
Member # 19119

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I understand, but when he talks about doin "stuff" i want it to happen soo bad but everytime he tries something i pull away because i dont know if i'm nervous,scared or worried. I've told him before that i wont do much of anything and he always says i'm cool with that. I just dont know what it is and when i pull away its like i'm in a depression. Alot of my friends have already lost their virginity and its as if i'm ashamed to have still have mine. I dont know if i should or shouldnt because i dont know where that fine line is between good and bad. I still want to hold on to my virginity for as long as i can but i dont know if i can do it.


Posts: 4 | From: Johnstown PA America | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

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Virginity is a fickle thing, Mindy. In your case, it sounds like you are worried about what he'll do, and you don't want to go too far.

You've got to find strength in yourself to make good decisions an just tell him "I'm really not ready for this, and I feel pressured, so please stop". No one else can do that, you have to look inside and find the courage to stand up for what you believe is right.

If you "don't think you can hold on to your virginity" than you shouldn't really be in a relationship with this guy. Your virginity, in question, shouldn't have to be held onto...you should lose it when YOU want, not when someone else wants.


Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Let's let the issue of virginity go for a minute, and look more at readiness for any sort of sex, okay?

Especially if your sexual communication to this point is as primitive as a guy telling you he wants to "do stuff."

Take a look at this: Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist.

Do you really have all the things going on mentioned in that list now, with this person?


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mindy T
Neophyte
Member # 19119

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I read everything and i can honestly say no to alot of things on that list. I just want to thankyou so much for listening to me. I cant talk to anyone about this. I think i may tell him that i'm not ready but i dont want him to think that i dont want to have sex with him because i do. I just dont think right now is that time. What do you think i need input.


Posts: 4 | From: Johnstown PA America | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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