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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » What exactly is wrong with me?

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Author Topic: What exactly is wrong with me?
Zelpa
Neophyte
Member # 17458

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Well, for awhile now it's like i've ben alot more distant with people, I could honestly care less for them.I often get thoughts about murder and how nice it'd be to do it.Sometimes it feels like something else takes over me.I get angry easy and very hateful.Like for example, i'm friends with someone next day they make me mad the next day I wish death upon them like i've hated them all my life.So far all I know is I have depression, Insomnia, And Anxiety disorder.I probally have alot more mental problems but that's all i'm sure of.Anyone else often feel like this?
Posts: 35 | From: Ohio | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Londongirl
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Hi Zelpa

I haven't had this experience, but can I ask you whether you have shared your thoughts of murder anger or hate with a therapist? From what you say about knowing you have depression anxiety and insomnia, it sounds like you may have seen a psychiatrist or psycotherapist?

Are your thoughts frightening you?


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Londongirl
University Student

[This message has been edited by Londongirl (edited 06-07-2004).]


Posts: 352 | From: UK | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Insane
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Member # 7343

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It is important that you share your feelings with an adult or your doc or a teacher. Someone who can help you get in touch with the right people so that you can discuss these feelings. Please talk to someone.

I just want to add that should you feel out of control, and feel like you may hurt someone, it is okay to call 911 or your local emergency number. You can also present yourself to your local emergency room, just tell them that you have thoughts of hurting others, and you are afraid you may follow through or something. i guarantee you, if you do either of those, you will get help. So if you are feeling like you cannot handle all this, please do one of those 2 things. There are lots of people out there that you can talk to about what you are feeling, you just need to ask the right people.

Good luck


Posts: 234 | From: Ottawa, Ont, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zelpa
Neophyte
Member # 17458

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I see a psychiatrist and I have told her about this and well needless to say she isn't helping much so she sent me to a different psychitraist who I haven't seen yet.And no, these thoughts don't frighten me at all.
Posts: 35 | From: Ohio | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Londongirl
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I agree with Insane, I don't know if you do think you will act on your feelings, but if you do these are good suggestions.

If your psychiatrist isn't helping, I'd suggest talking to someone else until you can get to see your new psych for a second opinion, you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Maybe if the new psych changes your meds/give you some meds these feelings will reduce.

Have you tried phoning any mental health helplines? They might be able to put you in touch with local support groups if you want to find some people who have had similar experiences. Also they may be able to provide advice about getting help, advocacy, and will have experience of a wide variety of mental health problems. Sorry I can't recommend a particular helpline, but I'm in the UK. Maybe you could post in Ask Scarleteen if you want some specific info.

good luck

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Londongirl
University Student

[This message has been edited by Londongirl (edited 06-08-2004).]


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anarchy_and_headbanging
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Member # 18571

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Well I know what you mean. Even though I haven't been professionally diagnosed, I believe I have some form of depression or borderline problem. I have a history of depression in my family (my father is manically depressed). I am a cutter (it takes a lot for me to say that because no one knows) and I often think of suicide. When I have my knife to my leg, cutting, I always think about raising it to my wrists and I play around with it by my wrists. Murder thoughts have never occured to me as often as suicide, and although no one knows I have any of these problems, I am afraid for myself. My friend ran away about a month or two ago, but he came back. If you're having problems with people and you don't want to kill yourself and you don't want to go to jail for murder, and if your therapy (if you have any) is not helping, my best advice would be to run away.
Posts: 4 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Anarchy,

Is there no one in your life right now that you feel you can share this with? Because it really sounds like you need to talk to someone, in real life, about this. Venting online can only do so much.

Are you in school? I originally started getting help through my school.

You can't be treated if you're not diagnosed. Self injury and thoughts of suicide are serious business. You need to start seeking professional help, if you haven't already.

Running away does not help ... You need to be taking responsibility for yourself, and you can hardly be responsible for anything if you're picking up and running when something gets tough.

I moved from one parents house to another, and guess what? My problems followed me, just as everyone told me they would. The problems had a great deal to do with ME and how i was dealing with them, not just with everyone around me.

Please, find someone to talk to about this.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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