I'm suprised I'm posting this because it's so personal but I really need help on this one. When I was 12 I was raped by a co-worker of my fathers when he had a bunch of them over to get drunk. I remember it vividly and sometimes I wonder if it's influenced my sex life more than I think. I've been dreaming about it constantly the past few weeks. It isn't fair but I've always blamed my father. He was in the next room and it's hard to believe that no one there heard. I don't speak to him often but he called me a few weeks ago and we argued (it had been almost a year since we last spoke) and since then, every night, the scene plays out in my head and I wake up crying. I thought I was over this and I could be normal again but now I'm back to how I was years ago and I can't stand to be touched. I'm normally extremely sexual but I keep thinking back to my memories and I want to throw up. I don't know how to make this stop, but I can't take many more nights of this.
Posts: 53 | From: Austin, TX, USA | Registered: Jan 2004
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Have you talked to a therapist or a counselour, or someone like that? To me it sounds like you might need to talk with someone who can really help guide you through this tough time. Maybe even calling a rape crisis hotline, and talking to someone trained in dealing with similar situations could be helpful. Maybe some one could post the numbers for appropriate hotlines.
I wish I could help you more, and I hope you get through this okay. *hug*
------------------ I see you shiver with antici......pation
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