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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Brother is leaving me and I'm all alone

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Author Topic: Brother is leaving me and I'm all alone
Gothicgurlie
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Member # 16336

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Well,
My brother is a senior in high school and he is going to college on a football scholarship. I am very proud of him , even though I do envy some of his athletic ability. But I am th youngest child of 3 so that means I am the only one left in my home. My parents treat me as if I am a 9 year old that can't do anything on their own. But I am a very mature 14 year old. But I am going to miss my brother so much when he leaves. I never have had to live by myself without my brother. Me and my brother are very close and I don't want him to leave. I am so depressed because of all this talk going around my home about him leaving and graduation and all that jazz.
I hate the fact that I have to be the one to do all the house work because he is going to college. I wish I could just go back to when we were younger and there were no worries.( I can't even believe I am typing this!)I don't think I could really express my feelings to my brother about him going to live somewhere for 4 years because he would probrably say I was being a wimp and that he has to get an education.

So my question is how can I tell him how I feel without making a huge dramatic scene and without making myself look like a fool?


Posts: 77 | From: Roanoke,Virginia, USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Faeryprinces
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Member # 12405

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Hey Gurlie,
I know what you're going through. I am also the youngest of three, I have two older brothers. When I was 14, my brothers graduated from highschool, and both left for college leaving me behind to fend for myself!

I too went through seperation anxiety with them leaving! I remember being really sad and upset, there was nothing like dropping them both off at their respective colleges and coming home to realize that I had no one to hang out with! I remember being upset that I had to do all the chores and I had no one to cover for me if I did anything wrong

But you know what? During the time that my brothers were gone, I was able to establish a friendship with my mother that most kids cant. With that, I was also able to develop a bond with my brothers that cant ever be broken. To be honest, I thought my brothers and I were pretty close growing up, but once they left for school it seemed as if we got closer. When they came home for holidays, or maybe just a weekend even, we couldnt wait to go out to dinner, or the movies, or the mall and just have fun!

My parents definately started treating me more like an adult when my brothers left too...because it gave me the chance to really show them how responsible I could be without my brothers there to "get in the way", so to speak.

As far as talking to your brother, maybe you should write him a nice long thought out letter telling him how great of a brother he is and how much he's going to be missed, and include fun memories of all the silly things you did together growing up and/or make a CD of funny songs that the two of you like, then put it in a card and hide it in one of his drawers at school when he moves in, or you can give it to him as a graduation present. That way, if he misses you while he's away, or is feeling homesick and down, he also has something to read/listen to thats from his little sister

Dont look at it as a negative thing for him to leave, and dont think he's not going to miss you just as much! Chances are (if he's anything like my brothers) he's going to come home for thanksgiving on his first break, take a look at you, and think about how much he missed his little sis and how much she's grown up since he's been gone.

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Hope this helped a bit:)
-Faeryprinces


Posts: 227 | From: New Jersey, USA | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jillybilly
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Member # 19523

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MAN! i thought i was the only person who loved her brother as much as i do!
he left for UBC last year and i was completly miserable...the house i live in is three stories (big!) and my parents are divorced and my mom is a psychologist so she works alot, and he used to stay home with me and keep me company, but with him gone the house seemed sooo much bigger and scarier (LOL..im 16 but whatever)
he calls alot and hes doing really great in school..he's starting his second year this september, but i still miss him. but a great thing is that our relationship has grown SO much stronger and we're alot closer..he even confided in me his darkest secret (he's gay) even though i already kind of knew. i totally love him and he kicks extreme booty, hes always there for me and i know that if i get lonely i can go to his Frathouse and chill with him. another cool thing is, since he lives in Vancouver now, he buys me these comics that i cant get here in white rock, and he usually brings me a new issue everytime i see him! which is great! but if your feeling lonely you should call ur bro and talk to him..go out for lunch maybe? maybe help him pack before he leaves too? i helped my brother pack, i did his laundry and folded his clothes (he didnt know how, at 18! tsk tsk) but it felt good! whenever i get scared or lonely ill call him and he always answers and comforts me, even if its 3 in the morning and im home alone for the nite!

Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
roger3
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Member # 19365

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im a guy and have 2 older brothers that both moved down to chicago. It was kinda hard having them leave, especially my brother Gino because we actually started talking to each other the year before he left and taught me some stuff about cars and such(guy stuff i guess). He calls a lot now and we talk on the phone and he's getting a new motorcycle, which is bad because he is kind of a speed demon. I never really talked to my parents when my brothers where living in the same house as me because a lot of the attention was on Gino through court and he was getting out of school soon and he also had depression and god stabbed in the back, litteraly, by some younger kid that didn't like him. After he left I started talking to my parents a lot more like what was going on in school and my likes and dislikes because we never at all really talked. My brother Mario was very protective of me and kept me out of trouble.... sometimes, haha. We go to Chicago a lot now to visit them and my mom has a lot of other family down there also, and it's fun to see them when i do. Call your brothers on the phone every so often like every weekend, and maybe talk to each other on the computer through e-mails, technology has come soo far so why not use it?
Posts: 34 | From: Northfield,MN,U.S | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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