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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Molested

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Author Topic: Molested
Member # 15414

Icon 8 posted      Profile for Boredofthings     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is actually quite hard for me, but posting on here always seems to take a big weight off me, and give me some releif from my feelings. Ok, I'm male and jus turned 16, this is my story.

About a year and a half ago I was friends with this guy, I'll call him Dave for arguements sake (this is not his real name). Anyway Dave had been sort of a friend for the last year, but the previous months before had become a betetr friend of mine and a few others. A lot of people thought he was weird, even people in the group of friends we hung out in thought he was a very weird guy. I always stuck up for him though, and said that after you got to know him he was alright. As he was quite a good friend I used to do quite a lot of stuff with him - sport, hang out etc. So obviously him and a few other guys used to sleep over, and we'd watch a bit of tv and play some video games and then chat while we were in bed before going to sleep - good fun, or so I thought.

One night while he and another good friend slept over, we had done the usual chatting and then fallen asleep. I woke up in the night because of a feeling which I could feel even though I was asleep - I can't explain it I just know I felt very uncomfortable. I woke up and was confused, i had know idea where it had come from and in the end made it back to sleep. I woke up in the morning and pretty much forgot about it.

a few weeks or maybe even a month or two later (its hard to remember as it was in the summer and we were off school) I had been to a party, and there was a whole group of us sleeping in the guys front room, on sofas and such like. All good friends I trusted - including my twin brother, who though I don't like to admit, probably is the best friend I have and we share the same friends so I'm constantly in his company. Anyway Dave was among them, and during the process of me sleeping, I was again woken up by this uncomfortable feeling. I was again very confused, and a little distraught - I looked around the room to see if anyone was awake because I was worried about going to sleep and expiriencing the same feeling, as it was very very uncomfortable. However, to me it seemed as if all my friends were sound asleep, and after calling a few names I decided that was so. I went back to sleep and made it again through to the morning where I thought no more about it.
Looking back it seems to stupid I didnt connect the fact that these feelings only happened when I slept in the same room as Dave.

Again about a month on and we were back at school, one night at the weekend Dave had invited myself, my brother and another good friend to sleep round his as his parents were out for the night. Of course we accepted and told him we'd be round about 7. Before going over, I was chatting on msn messengar (a chat program) to him about what we would be doing that night. The usual i.e what movie to rent out was discussed. Then he asked me 'is there a place in the lounge youd like to sleep? if you call it now you can sleep there and people cant argue' 'I'll take the big sofa' I replied, happy at being given the chance of getting a comfy nights sleep. 'And I'll sleep on the floor next to it' he replied. I didn't bat an eyelid, people slept in that place all the time, I prehaps wondered for a second why he didnt want to sleep on the other sofa but dismissed it.

We had an enjoyable evening, which was cut a little short by Dave saying he needed sleep as he had a big day ahead of him the next day. We, as friends, obliged, and set up for the night. Of course I was woken up by this very uncomfortable feeling. I looked around, rather uncomfortable, turn over and went back to sleep. I dont know how long later, but again I was woken up by the feeling. I was prepared this time though, and sat blotright up and turned to survey the room. As I looked i saw Daves hand shoot from beside me back to his bed.
It suddenly all added up 'Dave..?' I called out, and no reply came. I was scared, I was about 70% sure Dave had been touching me in my sleep. I moved accross the room, and sent a text using my mobile phone to a friend that said something like 'I think dave is gay, im scared for my life, I think hes been trying to rape me' a little exagerated but I was scared. I managed to get some sleep after id calmed down. I woke up and did feel a lot better. What I had been fairly sure of the night before seemed pretty ludicrous, and I dismissed it. My brother made his excuses and left very early, which was weird for him as he usually likes to sleep in. 'Why did you move from the sofa?' asked my friend when he woke. 'Dave tried to rape me' I joked. 'Shut up' said dave, rather angrily. 'Calm down he was only joking' said my friend. 'Yeah exactly' I added. Dave seemed content with this answer.

We had breakfast and my friend and I left daves and went back to mine. After a bit of talking I said 'Guys I don't want to sound queer...but I could bloody swear Dave has been touching/trying to touch me'. I expected them to shrug it off, but my brother suddenly said 'He is, I left early this morning because last night I couldn't sleep, so I was thinkin about my girlfriend. Dave called my name, but I was too engrossed, and couldnt be bothered to tell him I was awake. Thats when I felt him put his hands in my boxors. Obviously I was aroused from thinkin about my girlfriend, and dave started to toss me off. I was too scared to say anything of even move. I was close to climax anyway, and he made me climax and then seemed content with himself and left me alone. I was scared as hell, I didnt go to sleep. About an hour later he called my name again. I didnt reply and again I saw him move his hand over to me. I couldn't take it a second time and I grabbed his arm and he fell back into his sleeping position in a matter of seconds. Thats why I left so early this morning'. We decided to confront Dave on msn messenger, as real life would be too difficult. I'll never forgot the few hours I spent waiting online for him to come online, still only half beleiving it. I kept asking my brother 'do you swear that actually happened?' as I was afraid we'd somehow made the story up between us with circumstantial evidence.

Eventually he came online and after about 2 hours of denying it, somehow we got him to admit it. We said things like nearly every boy goys through a phase of being gay in adolescants, and that we didnt care if he was gay (which we wouldn't if he hadnt been molesting us). He admitted to touching me those three times, and said that at the party I was a very light sleeper, and so he had gone for my brother instead. My brother recollected he'd woken up with his flies undone. Dave admitted he had a crush on both me and my brother and had wanted to touch us, and had thought the only way to do this was in our sleep. I asked him how hed managed to touch me when a friend was sleeping next to me, and, his reply still chills me to this day 'I had to go over him to get to you'. my brother and I, having got the confession felt sick. I felt dirty, very very dirty. We didnt really want to tell anyone, which made it horrible as the next day at school he hang out with us and our regular group of friends. He said to me that day 'Stop acting awkward around me, it's stupid' and I couldn't beleive he had the nerve to say that. I couldnt take it and that day after school me and my brother told a few close friends who we thought deserved to know. One let it slip, and the whole school found out. Dave was outkasted from our group, anf for a few weeks he didnt have any friends. He never admitted it though, which led half the school to beleive we were making up viscious rumours. In those few weeks I continued to talk to him on messenger, and he told us he felt like he deserved to die for what hed done. I knew he was just trying to make us friends again. After a few weeks he told us that he had some of his new friends staying over, and he was planning on touching one of them. It sounds horrible but I wanted him to do it and get caught, so that the whole school would finally beleive us. The friends didnt stay over in the end, lucky for them. After a bit I stopped talking to him on messenger because I relaised tlakin to him made me feel worse. He sent emails for a while pleading for friendship, but after no replies he became angry and started insulting us, saying I had a small dick and things like that.

A year and a half on he has his friends I still have mine. I still see him everyday at school, and a lot of the time am reminded of what he did. Me and my friends joke about it now, but I can't help wondering how its affected me.

Basically what Im asking is should I do anything? its definatley too late to go to the police, and I think Dave's suffered enough, I even felt sorry for him at times when he didnt have many friends but thats the kind of person I am..I don't like to see others suffering. I don't want this to affect my life, what can I do to make sure it doesnt become an issue in later life?

To anyone who managed to read all of that thank you, Ive probably missed quite a few minor details out, but the basics are all there. I would appreciate any replies.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17552

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Wow, first all I can say is kudos on not bashing him for touching you. Not many people can speak about an experience like that without degrading the other person. As for what to do next, I would say it all depends on your mental health. Obviously this is gonna stay with you for the rest of your life and if you're at the point where you've put it all behind you, then that's pretty much all you can do. If it still haunts you, I would suggest talking to somebody you can honestly trust, whether it be a counselor or a therapist or a close friend. You're a really strong person for posting this and as long as you don't put a lot of emphasis on it in the future, you're probably going to become a much stronger person.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 16336

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Goodness. Yes exactly what the other post said. Seriously if I were you I would have almost killed him if he touched me in my sleep. But what don't kill you will only make you stronger so just concentrate on the things that make you happy. Not the things that dissapiont you. But it all depends on your mental state. If you think this is just too hard for you to handle then I think you could talk to a therapist,conselor,parent etc. MY g/f was molested by her brother when she was 8 and he was 15 and it took her a long time before she even trusted anyone including me. So just try to make the best of your life and not think about those times that make you feel"dirty"
Posts: 77 | From: Roanoke,Virginia, USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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