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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » help pls!

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Author Topic: help pls!
Qgirl
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Member # 17206

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i'm not sure if this is going to the right board cos it may not seem like a big problem but it keeps weighing on my mind, and im really depressed, so pls help me

my problem is that my parents want to send me to the uk to attend university. i don't want to go. dont get me wrong, im all for higher education, but i want to get my degree here, in my home country and then go abroad later for post grad work. the degree i want to get is equal in standing to the uk one but my parents hate the idea. esp my mom. when she found out i didnt want to go, she stopped talking to me and hasnt talked to me since. and yet they're still pressuring me to go. neither of them got this sort of chance, they say, so they want me to go.

i hate the idea, there's so much i want to do here, so much to see and experience and i feel so resentful that i am to be packed off jst a month after my final exams pulling up all my roots and setting off to do more studying. i hate it.

then there is my boyfriend, whom i love obviously. my parents hate him to and i know they want me to go abroad because then our relationship would be severed. (we both don't belive in long distance relationships)

i tried to make them understand that im not throwing my ife away, im jst taking control and following my plan which is good. its logical and its done by a lot of students in my country but nothing doing. to them, staying here is an ultimate failure and disappointment. they keep telling me "you're the smartest in the family, you've been blessed with such intelligence...don't disappoint us" the guilt is making me depressed. the more they push, the more i want to dig in my heels and say no, but it feels like im nearing a breaking point.

if they do force me to go, i will spend almost 6 yrs in the uk, away from home. the prospect is horrible. and for that i will always resent my parents. even tho they probly think they're doing it for my own good, inside i'll always resent that i was pushed into this.

if i stay, my mom will probly not talk to me for the entire time period i study here. they say they can't keep up wit my partying and stuff. thats a joke, i don't go clubbing, i don't drink, smoke etc. i jst go for parties held by friends and in comparison to most people my age, i'm a social retard. it's even sillier when i think abt college life: if they think my current lifestyle is bad, then wait till the college party hearty life kicks in.

what do i do? my boyfriend says i hav to stand up for what i want, but he doesnt realise how hard it is in the face of being the family disappointment. its so unfair, i've always been an A student, high achiever, and really successful. done nothing but make them proud for 18 yrs and then i fell in love and all hell decended. my relationship wit my family detriorated and they became overprotective to the max. funny cos he is similarly and highly successful, high achiever. nothing wrong wit him except the fact that he's my boyfriend.

pls help me... i keep worrying over this and im really feeling low

thanks for listening


Posts: 4 | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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You've already posted this question at http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/004728.html . Please remember that the board guidelines ask you not to double-post like this.
Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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