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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I think I'm gonna die

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Author Topic: I think I'm gonna die
sweettweet22
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Member # 15787

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omg...well my computa wouldn't let me post on my other post for some reason...but anywayz, I jus need to let this out- or else I"m gonna burst (and it's okay if I don't get a response...I jus need to let it out of me)- I went out with the boy that asked me out, and evrything started out okay- we were makin out n stuff (but I wanted to go slow cuz of what happened wit D)...but this kid jus wanted to keep goin further n further...I kept pushin but I wouldn't...then he slapped me so hard...I literally saw stars...and omg...I cried and screamed, but no one coud hear me, because we were in this "make out spot" (I know I shouldn't have been there but I started to trust him) and he wouldn't let me get out..I was cryin for my life...then he started to take my clothes off...and ended up kickin him and he jus slapped me...and omg- I tried to reach for my cell, but he grabbed my hand, and made me touch him (down there)- all of a sudden somethin told me to say somethin to him...so I was like do you really want to do this or is someone makin you do you want to hurt me- i thought you said you loved me...and he was like I think you better shut up...and I was like okay I will...then I guess somethin clicked in his mind- and he was like f*** you, get out my car- find a way home, and don call me ne more- then he opened the door, and pushed me out...I got up real quick (afraid he was gonna run me over)- I hardly had any strenght left in me...but I made those 5 blocks, and forced myself to keep goin (I didn't want to call ne one, cuz then I would have to explain the whole story)- so I jus kept goin and finally made it...and I fell to the floor and jus cried...I don't know what to do...I want to jus reach for that knife in front of me, but I have no strength- i wanna call the cops but I'm afraid, I wanna tell my sister, but I'm scared- so now I turned to this site- hoping to get an answer, but if I don't, it's okay- I jus needed let this out, before I jus go for the knife- I'm tryin to control myself, but I don know how much longer I can last- SOMEONE HELP ME

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I'm so confused- I scare myself~ "y do we luv the ppl that HATE us, and HATE the ppl that luv us?"


Posts: 99 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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Member # 961

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Well sure, you could die, but that's probably not the best thing to do in this situation. There's help out there, and it's your choice to take it -- or risk becoming a statistic. So call it quits with dating, or writing, or doing much at all, until you've asked for that help. It doesn't have to be a big deal; there are women's shelters who can offer advice and support, crisis help lines (check the first few pages of your phone book), or those dreaded cops (though I can't say I'm feeling especially threatened by the one sitting four feet from me). But you need to do something, or talking to us will be about as helpful as playing solitaire. Hang in there, and good luck.

------------------
Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

And everybody's got to live their life
And God knows I've got to live mine


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just an FYI: it truly isn't okay to post here and put anyone in the position of saying that if we don't help in a way you need, you'll reach for a knife. I understand you're hurting right now and scared, but executing emotional blackmail just isn't okay to do here, or in general.

As Milke suggested, it is smartest and usually best for anyone who has been assaulted in any way to get in-person support as soon as possible, and to call the police as soon as possible. That not only nets you rotection, support and the start of some resolution, it helps to potentially protect anyone else an attacker may seek out next.

And given your post history here, it seems to be you already have enough issues that you've been struggling with and need help with that waiting any longer to get and sustain in-person support -- preferably, eventually via a good counselor who can really help you objectively -- would be highly detrimental to your mental and physical health. So, I'd seriously encourage you to do that.

(I'd also suggest that right now is not a good time for you to be dating, until you really have a LOT of time to deal with all your residual issues and resolve those first. It's just too difficult to have good judgement of people or perspective in the sort of space you've been in, sugar. Right now, you very clearly just need to start taking care of yourself.)


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweettweet22
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Member # 15787

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I apologize if it seemed I was putting anyone in an uncomfortable situation- I know I should've called the cops, but I jus wasn't ready- but if I do, would I have to mention my other ex? or jus bout what happened last night?- and I think you guys are right, I shouldn't have put you in that situation (I was jus in a very intense mood, and I wanted to let it out, but I guess I should have let it out differently)- well, I think I am going to call my counselor, maybe she can help me- I'm sorry once again- thank you for the advice

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I'm so confused- I scare myself~ "y do we luv the ppl that HATE us, and HATE the ppl that luv us?"


Posts: 99 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
UnderTheBridge
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Ok, I'm only 14, never had a relationship, I don't know much about life, I'm just a kid. But I do know that you do not deserve what you are going through; from your story I can see that all you want is to be loved. I think you are looking for love in the wrong places. If you want my advice, go buy a King James Bible and read it. If you don't want religion, fine.

Anyways, there are many, many ways to snap out of depression. For instance, music got me out of depression, playing it and listening to it. I am a Christian, and I am telling you with all sincerity, that the WORST thing you could do right now is to kill yourself. It is not going to make things better, it is going to multiply your problems. Think of how many reasons there are for living. Find something you love, and and do it. That boy does not love you, he is hitting you because he wants to control you with fear. His idea is that if you are scared of him, you will do whatever he wants.
If you think life sucks, it doesn't. You chose the wrong path, you can change it.


Posts: 13 | From: Fairbanks,Alaska | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
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Member # 11569

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As I mentioned in the other thread, proselytizing is against the board guidelines, so if you want to continue posting, you will have to cool it with the religious/moral judgements.


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
UnderTheBridge
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Religious and moral judgements? I don't know which post you read. I was trying to help, not turn her into a Jesus freak, the Bible is not all religion, it talks about many other things, including how to get rid of problems in your life.
Posts: 13 | From: Fairbanks,Alaska | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
UnderTheBridge
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Oh I see what you were saying, I didn't mean that by "If you don't want religion fine". I meant, if you don't want religion you don't gotta be religious while you read the Bible.
Posts: 13 | From: Fairbanks,Alaska | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
UnderTheBridge
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Heh, three posts in a row, but anyways:

You're rules state that you may not harass someone with religion, I mentioned it once as a solution to her problem, because I care about her.


Posts: 13 | From: Fairbanks,Alaska | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
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I posted a second reminder about the guidelines, not because you are harassing this poster particularly, but that your posting in general over the Support Groups forum have been very confrontative and numerous.

Whether you see it as harassive or not, continually posting to encourage people to look to God, or read a book (which may not be strictly religious in parts, is very heavily associated with two major religions) when they do not want to IS harassment and proselytizing, and you've been warned by a number of other moderators at this time. So I think it's really time to cool it, okay?


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
UnderTheBridge
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But no one said they didn't want to. But listen I'll stop talking about God if you want to. It's just that there are so many things wrong with the world today, and the answer is so simple. This country WAS founded by people who wanted to make a Godly country. It's hard to stop talking about it because it feels like I'm being suppressed, like I'm a minority, and all I wanna do is help.

Sorry I guess this isn't what this post is for though, I stop babbling.

Just remember not to stop looking for the answer to your problem, you will find it eventually. Eventually trying to find a reason to live will keep you going, so just believe in yourself and you will make it.


Posts: 13 | From: Fairbanks,Alaska | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Actually, the US nation was founded by those who wanted to be able to live in a country with religious freedowm, where they were not told incessantly which religion to adhere to.

You're hardly a minority nor are you being supressed or opressed. There are user guidelines here which you agreed to upon registering -- if you disagreed with those when you registered, you should have pressed the "disagree" rather than the "agree" button and moved on. If you DO agree with those guidelines and can follow them, by all means, you're welcome to participate at the boards.

But that participation may not be merely to enter into any number of posts and tell others to read the bible or enter into your religion, tell those who may be mentally ill they are posessed, et al, as you have been informed now several times. At this point, it happens one more time, your use of the boards will be halted.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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