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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Alchoholic Past

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Author Topic: Alchoholic Past
glc097
Neophyte
Member # 15860

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My mom used to be an alchoholic, and she still drinks from time to time. But she denies ever having a drinking problem, which I'm fine with...but she has alot of emotions that she doesn't deal with in a healthy way. This morning, when I got back from a friend's house she took it out on me and screamed at the top of her lungs everytime I tried to talk: "SHUTUP!". It really hurts my feelings, but I try to look apathetic so she can vent. I tell her it hurts my feelings but she then turns to the projecter defense and starts saying it's my fault, because I do blow up in her face from time to time...but I think it's more than that. My parents are split up and it tears me apart on the inside every now and then, and honestly I believe I'm unstable mentally...I have too much built up emotions that when little things happen I can snap, which is usually just my face turning red and my hands shaking...sometimes crying if no one is around, I've only "snapped" once before though...because a girl called me a bitch because I accidently spilled coke on her, and no one's called me that before so I got scared and had some sort of break down. Ugh...this is mostly venting, thanks for reading. I don't want to tell my friends because they have enough going on in their lives, but even if they don't know it, they are helping me so much. Has anyone been through something like this? I have a strong hate for her I can't help, I don't want to hate her but I can't help it. She just doesn't stop doing things that annoy me or hurt my feelings even after I've asked, it's like she can't control it! I really need someone to talk to about this...my friends are there for me, but they don't know what's going on. I just want someone to talk to about this for now.
Thanks.

[This message has been edited by glc097 (edited 01-31-2004).]


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Check out your local community centers or phone book to see if you have ACOA (adult children of alchoholics) chapters.

Not only would you find exactly the sort of in-person and peer support you need there, you could also find out about how to get your Mom some help/treatment as well.

Really, there's no such thing as a previous alcholic who still drinks and still exhibits alchoholic behavior: she's STILL an alchoholic, especially if she's never recognized that as an issue.

Be less hard on yourself: look, we learn healthy coping mechanisms mainly from example. if all you've seen are dyfunctional ones, no doubt that's what you're inclined to, and no doubt it's hard for you to know how to cope healthily.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glc097
Neophyte
Member # 15860

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How old do you have to be to go to those places? I'm only 13...I'm pretty sure my mom wouldn't take me, either. My Dad probably would, though. Also, thankyou so much! You've made my day by replying. =)
My mom has acknowledged that she was a alchoholic before, but after she stopped taking therapy she denies it...even if she still drinks every now and then, she doesn't get drunk. I learned how to cope with things from my dad, not my mom...so I think I'm doing okay, hopefully atleast...but if I was doing completly fine, then I wouldn't be posting here I guess. Thanks again!

[This message has been edited by glc097 (edited 01-31-2004).]


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Not getting drunk doesn't mean someone isn't an alchoholic. In fact, when you abuse alchohol, your tolerance increases, so with many alchoholics, they are rarely drunk in terms of how they appear.

In terms of finding a support group, given your age, the best place to ask may be the counselor at your school, or calling a local youth community shelter. There isn't generally an age limit on support groups, but it may help you best to find one that's most specifically tailored to your age.

Hang in there!

You may find some of these links helpful:

- http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/alcoholc.htm

- http://www.nacoa.org/

- http://directory.google.com/Top/Health/Addictions/Substance_Abuse/Alcoholism/Support_Groups/ACOA/


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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