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Author Topic: something wrong
celery
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Member # 5594

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I think there's definetly something wrong with me, sometimes I'm totally fine and happy and good, and somedays i'm just so depressed...especially today it seems like I'm a wreck.

My dad came back I think, alot of his stuff is back and he slept here last night so I'm just assuming ( my parents haven't said anything yet)

it kills me because I just know he's going to leave again and it's going to break my heart.

All I wanted to do today was see my best friend who just got back from vacation, and she didn't call me back all day and I still haven't seen her, and it seems like everybody just hates me or something today!
I feel so worthless and all day I've been thinking about how I can't live in this house anymore and I want to go live with my grandma because I can't take my dad leaving and coming back anymore, it's killing me.

I feel so down and angry today, I just broke down and started crying so hard, like I haven't cried that hard since I was a kid, and I just fell on the kitchen floor and cried and cried.

And I got so angry that I threw my cordless phone and broke it.

All I want to do is be with my friends, or someone that I trust but no one is calling me back or anything and I feel so hated, unwanted and worthless!

I also have really bad anxiety sometimes, and I get this feeling in my stomach that makes me feel so uneasy about everything when I'm worrying about stuff that isn't even a big deal but I can't help it.

what is wrong with me??? I hate feeling like this and I don't know what to do, I just feel like crawling in a hole in dying. What should I do?? is there anything I can do? it feels like all I want is drugs and alcohol and its the only thing that can help me escape from everything.. at least temporarily..help !!

[This message has been edited by celery (edited 01-02-2004).]


Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweettweet22
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Member # 15787

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well believe it or not, I think I know EXACTLY how u feel (try reading about how I've been feeling lately)- although it may not be for hte same reason, but I think maybe if u read about other people, you at least know that you aren't the only one going through "you know wat" in your life- I'm not telling you to go drink and do drugs, but I jus want to tell u that there are so many ways people deal wit all the bad things in life- I'm not going to say any, because I don't want to give u any idea- I know it may seem as if everyone hates u and has deserted you, but I also think that u have come to the right place for help- because I got help/ a lot of encouragement from this site- maybe it will help you too!

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I'm so confused- I scare myself~ "y do we luv the ppl that HATE us, and HATE the ppl that luv us?"


Posts: 99 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweettweet22
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Member # 15787

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oh by the way...there's nothing wrong with you (I learned that from logic...thankz again)

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I'm so confused- I scare myself~ "y do we luv the ppl that HATE us, and HATE the ppl that luv us?"


Posts: 99 | From: FL | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Member # 5375

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It sounds like you're under a lot of stress from your parents divorce. Have you talked to them about how this is affecting you?

Is staying with your grandmother a potential temporary solutuion? It will give your parents time to deal with their relationship but give you a bit of distance so you don't have to suffer through every new development.

You have a very large and very obvious source of stress in your life right now and it could be affecting more than your feelings towards your parents. I think it'd be worthwhile to see what you can do about minimizing the impact their divorce is having on you. (Obviously it's going to affect you, but it needn't be this hurtful.) Family counseling is another option that may be helpful.

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"Don't you know about the new fashion, honey? All you need are looks and a whole lot of money." -- Billy Joel, "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me"


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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Member # 5594

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I kind of tried to talk to my mom about how I feel, I told her that I'm fine with dad coming back, but not with him leaving again.
And said that it's not only affecting them two but me also.

But I can't seem to talk to my dad, maybe it's because he always chooses the most ridiculous times to talk. (i.e when I have FRIENDS over) or like last night comes downstairs at 12:30 am and says "are you angry at me" and I shot back without even looking at him "no"..."are you sure"..."yes!".

I just can't talk to him, it's like I don't even know him. He never even talks to me. The most he ever really says to me is "hi" when I enter a room or something.

I really want to bring up to my mom living with my grandma to see if that is even a possible temporary solution. I talked to my best friend and told her about what was going on and she thought that going to my grandmas would be a good idea too.

I can't stand my dad at this point in my life. For the past 2 days he's been lazing around the house in his pyjamas, while my mom cooks him food and he watches tv. I can't stand to see my mom just wench for everyone around the house.

Anyways, how should I bring up to my mom about going to my grandmas? It's kind of a sensitive subject and I don't really know what to say.


Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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