I think there's definetly something wrong with me, sometimes I'm totally fine and happy and good, and somedays i'm just so depressed...especially today it seems like I'm a wreck.
My dad came back I think, alot of his stuff is back and he slept here last night so I'm just assuming ( my parents haven't said anything yet)
it kills me because I just know he's going to leave again and it's going to break my heart.
All I wanted to do today was see my best friend who just got back from vacation, and she didn't call me back all day and I still haven't seen her, and it seems like everybody just hates me or something today!
I feel so worthless and all day I've been thinking about how I can't live in this house anymore and I want to go live with my grandma because I can't take my dad leaving and coming back anymore, it's killing me.
I feel so down and angry today, I just broke down and started crying so hard, like I haven't cried that hard since I was a kid, and I just fell on the kitchen floor and cried and cried.
And I got so angry that I threw my cordless phone and broke it.
All I want to do is be with my friends, or someone that I trust but no one is calling me back or anything and I feel so hated, unwanted and worthless!
I also have really bad anxiety sometimes, and I get this feeling in my stomach that makes me feel so uneasy about everything when I'm worrying about stuff that isn't even a big deal but I can't help it.
what is wrong with me??? I hate feeling like this and I don't know what to do, I just feel like crawling in a hole in dying. What should I do?? is there anything I can do? it feels like all I want is drugs and alcohol and its the only thing that can help me escape from everything.. at least temporarily..help !!
[This message has been edited by celery (edited 01-02-2004).]