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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » he's gone & never coming back..

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Author Topic: he's gone & never coming back..
Member # 5505

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thanksgiving morning was one of the hardest mornings for me. my friend was found dead. whether or not it was a suicide or a murder is a different issue thats still be investigated on. it caused me into a state of depression. a month or so before that i had just been unhappy with many problems with my family,ect. everything was starting to turn around for me when this happaned and it broke me. i couldnt stop crying and thinking of all the times we had and how he was just changing his life around. i wanted to be mad at him, but then all i felt was guilt, pain. its been a few weeks since and im okay..still greiving and nothing's the same,cry sometimes. im really unhappy and yeah i can put on a my acting skills and pretend like everythings okay..which i do at school b/c people count on me to be there for them. its just been an awful few months and i know greiving is normal,ect. i guess life for me has been really difficult and everyday it seems to get harder and harder. i used to think about suicide and now that my friends gone, i cant bear to think of it without tears down my face. writing this hurts, and i know hes gone and never is coming back and maybe things will change for me. i guess i just want to hear other peoples opionons or stories. i guess my friends arnt supporting me--
Posts: 36 | From: Houston, TX USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Hey darlin. HUGE hugs your way. The hugest.

In my teens, my boiyfriend suicided, so I remember all too well all of the feelings you're having.

I can't encourage you enough to seek out a good counselor. I know mine was completely amazing in helping me get through those first few months, which are by and far, the absolute hardest. It does get easier, I promise, it just takes a long time. And it really helps a lot to have an impartial adult who is there to care for you and expressly help you, so you don't feel like you have to beg for help or be asking for it all the time, as that's their job.

It's so hard to process the death of a friend when you're young, because one doesn't expect young people to die suddently, for any reason. But you know, it is a process. I'd suggest you stop worrying about what other people need from you right now, or about pretending to be shiny and happy. You're allowed to grieve, you NEED to grieve, and your friends may be more supportive when you stop acting and really ask for their help and support. Everyone grieves differently, and for different periods of time, and you're aallowed to do that how you need to, for as long as you need to. Not letting yourself really do thatt makes it hurt a lot worse for a lot longer.

Some other things that might help? I know writing helped me a lot: journal entries, poetry, letters to your friend saying the things you didn't get a chance to say, etc.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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