Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » this can't be normal

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: this can't be normal
paradijs
Neophyte
Member # 13854

Icon 9 posted      Profile for paradijs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My Mom told me that when I was very little, my father beat us. She finally got out if the house and eventually met my step dad (Chris). Well, here I am, 15 years later (having no memory of what happened) and terrified. Ever since I was little, I've been very scared of men, and now that I know this....

I hate him. I was just a child, and he was my dad. He is supposed to love me and care for me but he just didn't. So how can some stranger (Chris) love me when my own Dad hated me? Why should I love him? Every time that he touches me I feel like screaming and I can't even hug him. I don't know why I hate him but I do and it really sucks.

We are watching a movie in Health called "Sybil" and it's really hard to watch because I know it happened to me. I get very depressed when I see it going on. My teacher said that the last part is going to be graphic or something so I guess I'm going to embarrass the hell out of myself and ask not to watch it.

Is it normal to feel like this when I don't even remember it?


Posts: 32 | From: Roanoke, VA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
Activist
Member # 961

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Milke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, Sybil's now genrally considered a hoax, or at very least, a gross exaggeration. Quite simply, taking it as factual information is misguided. I read the novel years ago, and while some of it was disturbing, I wouldn't say it was likely to unlock hidden memories or trauma. Carrie was pretty disturbing too, but it was at least acknowledged as a horror story, and both tales are probably best interpreted that way.

If you've suffered abuse in your own life, however, why not seek counselling? Lots of people do it, lots of people find it helpful. There's a lot more a trained therapist working one-on-one with you could do than we ever can through a web board, so please do look into it.

------------------
Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

. . .Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
paradijs
Neophyte
Member # 13854

Icon 4 posted      Profile for paradijs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Milke:
You know, Sybil's now genrally considered a hoax, or at very least, a gross exaggeration. Quite simply, taking it as factual information is misguided.


Sorry, but I'm not "misguided" because I already knew that and I also know that it really happens in real life to many people. Maybe I just didn't explain myself well. When I see abuse go on, it makes me think about my Dad. Thinking about my Dad makes me think ahout being abused and I am terrified. I was wondering if it's normal to feel this way when I can't remember what happend. I've seen a counselor for a year and I still don't know the answer.


Posts: 32 | From: Roanoke, VA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It might be worth bearing in mind that almost all human beings have what's called "early childhood amnesia".

Because of the way memory develops, it's normal for people not to have any clear memories from before they're about 3 or 4.

So lacking memories from early childhood doesn't necessarily mean that something traumatic happened then. But if you were abused in any way very early childhood, it makes it particularly likely that you won't have any memories of it, or may only have fragmentary memories.

If you were beaten by your dad or were around while your mom was beaten, that's very traumatic in itself and could explain the fear you are feeling, whether or not there was any other abuse as well.

And yes, trauma can still have a very major effect even if you don't remember it.

[This message has been edited by logic_grrl (edited 11-28-2003).]


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3