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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » My mom doesn't believe me....

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Author Topic: My mom doesn't believe me....
Member # 15481

Icon 9 posted      Profile for teri225     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am in a serious situation. My sister came to me last night and said that she'd been having some problems. When I asked her what, she said that they were mental problems. She told me that she cries all thr time for no reason, has nightmares about my grandmother who died six months ago, thinks a lot about death and dying, that she's scared to be alone, and that she cut her arm with a scissor blade. I told my mom that my sister needs help, and my mom said that it's nothing to worry about. I told her everything my sister told me except for the cutting part. My sister is almost 14, and I worry about her. I don't know what to do since my mom doesn't think there's a problem. I promised my sister I would help her find some help. She's already talked to the school counselor, and the counselor didn't help at all. What can I do?
Posts: 1 | From: IA/USA | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3072

Icon 2 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm really not an expert in situations like these, so I'm afraid I have precious little to offer you, other than my condolences.

What I will do, though, is transfer this thread immediately to our Support Groups forum, where you will be surrounded by people who have far greater knowledge about this sort of thing than I do.

I wish you and your family the best of luck, and I do hope you are able to find your sister the help she needs.

BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.

Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7343

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Insane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am not sure how old you are, but i have found teh best way to get some one mental health help is to take them to the emergency department. There they can be assessed by psychiatry, and given referrals. Teh waiting list is usually a lot sorter for mental health help if you go through a hospital. If necessary they can be admitted to a psychiatry ward to get help. If taking your sister to an ER is not an option go see your doctor and tell him/her everything (including the cutting). They are bound by confidentiality and will get your sister help. Try having your sister call a crisis phone line in your area. I encourage you to seek help for your sister in whomever you can.
Posts: 234 | From: Ottawa, Ont, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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I hope your sister is already getting some help, but if not, I offer this advice. My sister also had some severe depression issues in high school that my mom, like yours, didn't feel were a big deal or anything to worry about. My sister ended up not getting any professional help (we all were sort of working through personal issues so we were all pretty tuned into just ourselves and our friends rather than family) and is actually o.k. now, although she would have been much happier with some help at the time.

Anyhow, my point is that my sister, who is now in college, asked my mom if she realized just how miserable my sister was at the time and all the horrible things she was experiencing. It turns out that our mother did not realize the severity. Telling your mother about the cutting might help her get the point and even your sister showing her the scars might scare your mom enough to take some action. Perhaps your mother is experiencing similar feelings and feels getting help for your sister would force her to deal with them.

I understand also about the school guidance counselors not being of much help. My best friend was verbally and sexually harassed for most of high school only to have counselors tell her "boys will be boys" and "boys will tease you and the like if they have a crush on you."

However, there are many counselors who do care and could really help. Maybe you or your sister could talk to a different one or even a teacher or other adult you trust? Perhaps if they talked to your mom she'd take action. She might act defensively at first but the point might get through to her.

In any case, you are good to want to help your sister and it is excellent that she is trusts you enough to talk about this. I'm sure knowing she has a caring (older?) sister helps her a lot.

"I'm a cunning linguist" ~Princess Superstar

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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