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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Who's your Support Network?

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Author Topic: Who's your Support Network?
Scarleteen Volunteer
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When we're having a tough time getting through a situation, who do you lean on for support? Who do you call your support network; your first line of defense for trouble times? It can be anyone: parents, siblings, friends and so on.

I would consider my best friend to be my ultimate support network. She's been through a lot, and is incredibly caring and a good listener. She knows good advice for me always, and no matter where we are in our lives, it's easy for either of us to pick up the phone or a pen and tell the other what's going on. I've never gotten judgemental attitude from her, even when our value systems diverge, and she's truly helped me grow in some areas where I was being stupid or making bad choices. Best of all, she knows exactly when it's better for me to learn on my own, and I love that.

I consider both my parents and my fiance to be large parts of my support network as well, although my parents still try and parent me through certain issues (depression) by telling me it's just a phase, and I'd grow out of it, which wasn't very helpful. I'm a bit wary of their support, but I still count on them for a lot. My fiance's a lot less emotionally involved than I am, and he's helped me learn to see the realistic side of things without growing pessimistic many, many times. I know I can count on him to listen objectively- even though I'm his fiance, he's willing to point out when I'm in the wrong, instead of automatically siding with me, and I really appreciate that.

So, who do you turn to when you need help, or a wake-up call? A counselor, a friend, a chaplain? Tell us all about your support network, and why you love them.

Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My best friend, J. She always gives me a shoulder to cry on and is always there for me. She's so smart and full or great advice, and never judges me. I love her like a sister.
Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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My boss. My mom (she and I are currently working together) has worked for her all my life so she's been a consistent part of it.

May was a really hard month for me, both financially and emotionally. She was there for me the entire time, making it clear that she'd have a job for me as soon as possible and that things would be okay in the meantime.

She's much like a second mother to me. I can tell her anything and count on being listened to and given an objective reply.

Despite her being both my boss and a friend of my mother's I can be honest with her and tell her what I'm really thinking and why.

Another significant system of support is a guy I've worked with the past several winters. (No, I don't get out much and yes, I am a work-a-holic in the making. ) We to go to know each other because of our near-cliquish group of mutual friends. As things are now we're the only two still around so he knows me better than most of the others I spend my winters with.

It's really nice to have him there because I've found if I'm talking, he's listening. Despite that, lot of our communication is non-verbal; we argue in a friendly manner frequently and it's our body language and eye contact that keeps things friendly and prevents any hostility.

He's also one of the few people who have seen and therefore know just how hard it is for me to stay in control when I'm angry. There have been multiple times where he's either stepped in to remind me (usually non-verbally) to act like a decent human being or just steered things in a different direction entirely.

I'm not sure I'd call him a friend but he's certainly an important part of my support group.

"I'll memorize everything you do to me/So I can teach it when it comes my turn."
-- Semisonic, "Chemistry"

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My boyfriend. Defineatly. If something's wrong w/ me, he's usually the first to know about it.

My parents. I'm super close to my mother ... And what i can't tell her, i can always tell dad (and vice versa)

Bobolink. I've never met him, but i got to know him through these boards and he's been kind of like an uncle to me ... always gives me a nice hard kick in the ass when appropriate, and tells me that he's proud of me when he thinks i need to hear it

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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It depends on what the situation is– I have some very different friends and since I have have many interests, I talk to some about certain issues and to others about other issues. Of course, in high school, my best friend made school bearable– we really helped each other get through a lot and continue to, although we're now on opposite coasts and talk less often and are more different– it's odd, we always seem to run into similar problems around the same time.

My family can sometimes be supportive– my parents do try– but their good intentions generally end up having a negative effect! Also, in my past, for example, boyfriends have proven to be really bad support network choices, but that's because they were bad boyfriend choices– lol!

Ultimately, I've learned through experience that the person who is there for me most is myself, that I need to depend on me, that I know what I really want in life and that I need to rely on myself when it comes to getting out of a jam (which I hopefully am now avoiding whenever possible!) Sort of grit my teeth and face it head-on, no matter how uncomfortable something is, whether physically or emotionally.

Of course, I'm not immune to calling up a friend and bemoaning some insignificant issue (a big reason I stopped IMing as I noticed a convos were just ending up to be meaningless blah/complaining sessions) and while I've had my share of big crises and hard situations, I realize just how lucky I am and try to remember to be grateful and upbeat– I have enough to eat, a place to sleep, that I don't live in a war-torn nation, that I can walk/talk/see/hear (not that you can't be really successful and happy if you can't do any of those things, because you certainly can but they can make life much harder in this society).

O.K. I think I've gone off topic a bit now, but that's my support network for ya!

How to Be a Good Wife
Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Excerpted from a 1950's high school home economics textbook–thank goodness the curriculum has changed a bit in the past fifty years!

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my husband. god & christ.
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My support network includes various of people. It depends who can be there for me at the time, but i can proudly say that Isaiah who's been my boyfriend for lil over 2 yrs, has been there for everything; both good and bad times I love him with all my heart!!!

I do get support greatly from my girlfriends, and the guys that i am friends with as well

Family tends to give support with my relationship with Isaiah and how i go with my life, especially with my mom, and my cousin Jill (she's my favorite, and the closest cousin i've got to be with emotionally ) So yeah, that's my support network


Posts: 369 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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For 13 years, my support was my best friend. In the last year, I have been replaced by two men in her life: her unborn son and the man who put in there. I have lost her as a friend, and that was no fault of mine. She pushed EVERYONE out of her life. Even her parents, to some extent.

But as I slowly lost her, I became more dependent on my partner for his love and devotion to me. He is my friend.

My mum is always there for me. She's become a really good friend in the last 5 years.

I'm working on my relationship with my dad. I decided when I was 3 or so to hate my dad, and I am activley working to resolve it. It's been a long road.

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My best friend. I have no idea how I would survive withouot her. We tell eachother everything that's going on in each of our lives, and she is amazingly nonjudgmental and supportive. Unfortunately, we're each about to leave to go to collages that are 2000 miles apart. Thank god for the internet and phones!
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My boyfriend. We had a very rocky start in our relationship and now that we are pulling ourselves together because of an accidental pregnancy and the choice we made about it, he has been a constant post for me to lean on, cry to, and hold. My friends don't back me up, and he loves me no matter what the choices I make, and when i fight with anyone, he drops everything and is there for me in no time. I met him the middle of June, and although we've been dating since July it feels like a lifetime. I'm ten times closer to him than I ever was the guys I dated for a year or more at the time.
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I consider my boyfriend to be my "support network". I've known him for almost 2 years, we've been dating on and off for 1 year. He was there all through my depression and through many other tough times. He's the only person I truly trust actually, I have bad experiences with friends and turning their backs on me. So it's good to have a person to help.

Actually, I have one friend who's my support network as well. I've only known him for about 6 months, but he is the most genuinely nice person ever. After recent talks, we've realized that we have been through many of the same things. It's really good to have a boyfriend who understands almost everything, and a good friend who understands things my boyfriend doesnt.

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BUS is my support network.
Posts: 68 | From: England | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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