Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » i dont know where to post this.. but it's about being afraid of dancing..

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: i dont know where to post this.. but it's about being afraid of dancing..
Member # 12734

Icon 5 posted      Profile for onlyme     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
well. i go out to clubs and places with friends and eventually at some point during the night they all want to get up and make their way to the dance floor. this leaves me either sitting alone by myself getting picked up by random guys who want and beg me to dance with them and i always refuse. i just cant dance. i can when i am totally alone at home though. i feel all embarrassed even bopping along or moving to the music while i am sitting down amongst people even. i know people dont care how you dance because they are too busy going crazy themselves. but i would LOVE to be able to dance and enjoy myself with my friends and other people---it'd really help me alot.
i have alot of concerns about my self image (though guys and girls tell me i have nothing to worry about!!) and anxiety/depression issues.......... this is probably one aspect that is affecting my dancing problem?
well. my point is, is there other people out there like this that wish they could just get up and let loose but are too scared or nervous?

Posts: 77 | From: australia | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3072

Icon 2 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Originally posted by onlyme:
is there other people out there like this that wish they could just get up and let loose but are too scared or nervous?

There are indeed. It's generally a handy thing to remember that you are never alone. Hell, I know plenty of people who are terrified of dancing, for fear of looking like a moron.

I once was pretty scared of it myself. I think it's just one of those things where someone tells you one time that "you look stupid when you do that," and it sticks. I don't remember it ever happening to me, but Im sure it must have since there was a long-playing fear inside me of dancing in front of people.

Nowadays though, I care not a whim. I know I can't dance, and I find it's easy to at least get a few good laughs out of people when I do shake the royal behind. In fact, there are several folks right here who've had their presences graced by my ridiculous dancing. Maybe if you ask nicely enough, they'll tell you the gory details.

Basically, I think you're a-ok, my darlin'. I'm willing to bet it's just something that will fade in time. But for more detailed information, I'll now send this thread happily off to Support Groups where you can hopefully get more input from folks much more knowledgeable than me. Take care!

BruinDan, "Number Three," PBOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.

Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 3 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i've been to my fair share of clubs, concerts and raves. i know i'm two left feet, but eventaully i realized that when i was out there, i wasn't looking at anyone and simply assumed no one was looking at me.

If that's not enough for you, well, when you're playing the wallflower, close your eyes during the music. Start swaying in time with the rhythm. When you feel ready for it, move the way you think the music directs you to move. Find your groove and then find your friends. Dance with them, they won't judge you (if they do, they're not great friends).

And if that really fails, then you can try to find dance lessons in your area. i don't mean this in a mean way. dance lessons are a great way to meet new people and have a lot of fun, actually.

i'm getting ready to go dancing actually. Underworld tonight. I hope the above puts some suggestions in your head. enjoy!

Mmm ... crispy, delicious bacon.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

Icon 12 posted      Profile for lemming     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, my goodness! Me, too. In fact, I've spent a significant portion of my life being in the band so that the whole idea of me dancing is a nonissue.

The only time I've found I can let go is when I'm at a club somewhere where I only know the people I came with, and there's no chance of running into anyone else. Then I've sort of blended in somewhere away from them and danced among the people I knew I'd never see again

I imagine if I really wanted to, I could do that for awhile and generally get to feeling more confident, but most of my friends aren't the clubbing type, and the ones who are know that I don't want to dance.

Glad to know there are others who feel silly dancing too, though!

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11811

Icon 9 posted      Profile for PrettyGirlSuffering     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ack, I hhaattteee dancing in front of people, I always feel like I'm one of those old grandma's trying to "bust-a-move." Sad cause I'm only 18! heheh... but my fear is being at clubs dancing alone... how many people actually do that? And also I'm like totally skeeved that some really weird ugly guy would start grinding and stuff up against me trying to get me to dance with him. Ack, horror!


-=No one can make you feel inferior without your consent=-Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 71 | From: Texas | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13068

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *BeC*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I love dancing but I have many friends who don't like to beacuse they are simply too self-conscious up on the dance floor. While some people do look at others on the dance floor, most are too interested in the fun they are having and that of their friends to worry about anyone else. Maybe the best way to conquer your fear is to take some dance classes. You may not come out of them being a world class performer but you may have a little confidence

Good Luck

*Friends are the angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly*

Posts: 18 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10011

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kena     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Originally posted by BruinDan:
I think it's just one of those things where someone tells you one time that "you look stupid when you do that," and it sticks.

That's exactly what happened to me! A "friend" made fun of my dancing at a very vulnerable time of my life, when I already wasn't feeling good about myself, and it stuck.

It took me years before I learned to appreciate to dance... and now I'm always the first to jump on the dance floor.

At first, I could only dance on a very crowded dance floor, where I could lose myself in the crowd, and where no one made very elaborate moves anyway because there wasn't enough room.

I also learned to avoid the "meat market" clubs. You know, those where everyone seems to be searching for a one-night-stand... Going out with a big group of guys also helps to chase off the unwanted attention. And my male friends don't care about how I dance so I don't feel any pressure.

I second the idea of taking dance classes. I took salsa and swing classes, and it made me appreciate dancing a lot more. They're a lot of fun, and with a good teacher anyone can learn.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3