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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I get spanked

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Author Topic: I get spanked
username_none_88
Neophyte
Member # 12415

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Hey, I'm 14 and everytime I do something really bad, my mom pulls down my pants and whacks my butt with a hairbrush. I don't have a problem with it because although it hurts, I know I deserve every whack... does anyone else get spanked or am I totally alone on this one?

Hugs

Rachel


Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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Hi Rachel,

being spanked with a hairbrush by your mom is not okay, and you do not deserve and don't have to live with it: it is physical abuse, and you don't have to accept it.

You're certainly not alone with this: many kids and teens are being physically or emotionally abused by their parents or other people in their lives. - Often without realising that what's happening to them is not okay, often blaiming themselves and thinking they deserve to be treated badly.

- Have a look at our Support Groups area on the boards, there are many people around who have been the survivors of abuse, too.

You don't have to accept your mom hitting you with a brush. Not at all.

Reach out for help here, and talk about this with someone you can trust. Maybe a teacher, relative, docotr, your rabbi, priest or other religious leader. Alternatively, check your phonebook or yellow pages or call National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233, Child Help USA at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or check http://www.childhelpusa.org

Also check out our Crisis Resources for some more helplines.

Finally, have a look at TeenHeath: Family Abuse, a good article with soem basic info on the many sides of abuse that can occur in families.

I'll move your topic down to Support Groups. It fits better there.

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Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~

Spike: Well, I'm not good and I'm okay.


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celery
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No, you are not alone in this, alot of children and teens get physically and emotionally abused by their parents, but that does not make it right.

Even though you may feel you deserve it, you don't, physical or emotional abuse is not okay. I agree with Alaska that you should talk to someone you trust about this. It's one thing to spank a child lightly on the bum when their little, but I think it's wrong to be spanking a teen girl(or boy) with a hairbrush. The thing that does worry me is that it could escalate into further abuse.

So please, find someone you can really trust to talk to, you shouldn't have to go on living with abuse.


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username_none_88
Neophyte
Member # 12415

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Hey everyone,

I can't make my parents stop, they're "Spare the rod, spoil the child" type people... I can take it for another four years, that's ok, but I know you're right...it's not ok. Luckily my little brother David is very wellbehaved, so they don't hurt him much.

Thanks to everyone who answered, you're very kind )

Hugs

Rachel


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alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Rachel, you don't have to live with it for another four years.
Contacting a help resource in your area can be a start to make the situation better for both you and your brother.

Please reach out for help, Rachel. You deserve to be treated well, you deserve better than what's happening right now.

Give some thought to talking about this with someone or call a helpline, okay?

------------------
Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~

Spike: Well, I'm not good and I'm okay.


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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Hun, just like Alaska said you don't have to live with it for another four years, I don't know where you're from but if you're from Canada there's the Kid's Help Phone, and you can that and tell them that you are being physically abused by your parents and they can help you.

1 800 668 6868 is the number for Kid's Help Phone. It is completely confidential and anonymous, so if you'd like to talk to someone it would be good for you. Also you can go to http://kidshelp.sympatico.ca/en/ to learn more about it.

[This message has been edited by celery (edited 03-31-2003).]


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Bhsshelly
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Member # 11924

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My mom used to spank me when I was what she called a bad girl. However my mother made me hold out my hand and she would hit the back of it 3 times but she mostly talked to me I guess for her hitting was a last result however that did not make it right I feel that the moment you hit a child you lose power. Resulting to violence shows you that they are weak. Talk to your mom tell her how you really. But dont try to talk to her after you cut school or something, and she is about to hit you again, it will work
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coldplayer
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me and my bros are hit with a big plastic spoon, but i could never accuse her of abuse.
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coldplayer
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we had a social worker come round to inspect my mum cause her ex had complained about hitting us with the spoon, we denied any real problems cause she was really upset. she hasnt done it as much since, only threatens it really.
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Curious_Girl101
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Yes, i agree call those numbers listed above if your being abused in anyway. Even if you think you can take it for a few more years its still wrong. i was abused when i was younger (leather belt on the bottom, wooden spoon on the hand,etc.), and i did nothing about it, only cause i never heard of the so many help programs there are out now, and they made me think it was okay. And ITS NOT, abuse also effects you for years, emotionally/mentally aswell. So please if your getting abused , get help.
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KittenGoddess
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Member # 1679

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quote:
Originally posted by coldplayer:
<...>we denied any real problems cause she was really upset. <...>

You may want to consider exactly why it is that you're trying to protect the feelings of someone who isn't protecting you.

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KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)


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username_none_88
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Member # 12415

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It's kind of hard to go against someone who claims they're doing it out of affection..they really and truly believe it's right! It's like the Germans during WWII they believed killing Jews was for the greater good, although it was a vile and immoral act, to say the least.
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Gumdrop Girl
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you *can* still intervene if you call social services or the hotline numbers provided for you by the other users. you can report to your teachers or school guidance counselor what is happening to you. they are obligated by law to file a report.

call, check out the websites the othersa gave you or tell someone at school what is going on. it is far more effective than posting on this board where we can't really do anything for you.

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Mmm ... crispy, delicious bacon.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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