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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Getting raped is the girls fault...

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Author Topic: Getting raped is the girls fault...
Member # 2121

Icon 4 posted      Profile for Sam007     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
this is what one of my guys friends said to me. He knows that i am a rape victam, and he had the ignorance to say this. I am so pissed off that this ignorant kid said that. the only way i wanted to respond to this was to punch him in the head... which i didnt. talking about abortion brought this up. Anougher guy said that abortion should only be legal if the girl got raped. then the ignorant kid said, "well if a girl gets raped its her fault that it happend." UGH! i was so mad, i am still so mad that i can sence that im repeating my self quite a bit but i just dont know how to orgfanize my thoughts that well when im in a fit of rage.. what would you have done, or how should i approach him to tell him how much it hurt me that he said that? FYI he is the only person that knows i was raped except for the guy who did that to me. so when he said that i took it as a direct put down towards me. Maybe i should have, maybe thats the problem....

Take my eyes take my heart I need them no more
If never again they fall upon the one I so adore
Excuse me please one more drink
Could make it strong cause I donít need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and Iíll move on

Posts: 17 | From: NH | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

Icon 1 posted      Profile for alaska     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hi sam,

i can understand that you were unable to reply when the chaps around you made all these statements.
happens to me, too, when someone expresses opinions that are very far removed from my own views and experiences.

good that you chose not to punch the chap in response, though. no matter how angry one is, hitting someone not only doesn't solve anything, but will only makes matter worse.

do you care about the friendship with the bloke who made the statement that hurt you most? is it worth to actually tell him how hurt you were?

if someone i had trusted in, the only person i told about something that happened to me, had made such a statement, i would quite likely consider never ever approaching about my feelings anymore. ever. i wouldn't even bother telling him how much it hurt me. i'd just cance the friendship.

but that's me, not you. - only you can decide what's appropriate for you.

did i understand you correctly and you never sought professional help after your rape? if not, i urge you to do that, no matter how long it has been since it happened.
dealing with rape and healing takes time. - and professional can help immensely.
you could prepare with a counselor how to react next time something like this happens.

have you checked out our url=]Crisis Hotline[/url] section yet?
There are two articles you might want to check out. One is Dealing With Rape, the other Three Steps Forward, One Step Back - A Scarleteen Volunteer's Story. Also make sure you check out the Crisis Resources.

btw, i'll move your thread to support groups, it fits in there a lot better.

~Scarleteen Sexpert~

Spike: (In response to being asked to fight a troll) "I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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