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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I hate my sibling(s)!

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Author Topic: I hate my sibling(s)!
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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Help! My sister is an insufferable, back-biting little bitch! She is spiteful, jealous, bitter, and by some accounts, out of control.

My parents wonder why I don't come home very often. Well, I can't stand to be near my sister for prolonged periods of time. I try to be civil, but she absolutely resents my very existence. She can't stand to see me succeed, will do *ANYTHING* to cut me low to my face, to my parents, to my friends (her favorite thing is to tell me how fat I am). She never pays anyone a compliment. My mother calls me every now and then to tell me how my sister makes them suffer, whether by insulting and verbally abusing my parents, worrying them by staying out late, or offending my family members by inappropriate behavior (something about bringing over several different men to spend the night alone while she was housesitting for my aunt).

And it's not like she's ever been deprived of anything. If anything, she had all the opportunities before I did. She went off to college before I did, and it's not my fault that she flunked out. I finished in 4 years; I earned my keep. She got a car before I did, but turned green with envy when I got one after graduating college (so naturally, she raised hell and my parents pacified her with a new laptop).

I am at my wit's end. The girl needs some sort of counseling, but refuses to go (and my parents refuse to admit something's wrong with her). And if it gets any worse, i'll just pack up and leave again. I hate to have to leave my parents to her wrath.

Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11078

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I had a problem similar to this with my brother but i'm only 13 so i didn't do anything as drastic as leave home. He's 19 now and the arguing doesn't happen anymore because we hardly see each other.

With you and your sister it sounds like you're of a similar age. I think her jealousy more likly to be an anger or maybe a frustration that you're favoured over her. something like that, but i don't know you or her so i'm not really in a position to say.

Have you tried walking over to her and talking. Be civil and if she lashes out either physically or verbally don't let that hamper your trying to communicate. If you don't understand why, then you can't solve it.

I probably didn't help, but hey! I gave it a try.

I hope things sort them selves out over time.

the girl dreams are made of =)

Posts: 68 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5578

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I can somewhat relate.

My sister is a spoiled rotten nearly-19-year-old brat with absolutely no responsibility.

Even from the time she was a little kid she had no chores or duties. A first-born child, my Mother would always do everything for her and when my parents would set rules she'd (and still does) cry to get out of them. This pulled my parents into a pit of guilt, so they would then give in to their own set of regulations!

My sister gets $10,000/year from a settlement when we were kids (I'll get more when I turn 18). She doesn't go to school, doesn't have a job, and lives off of the settlement money. She lives with her best friend (who is a word that is banned on Scarleteen) in an apartment and still has no reponsibility. She lies chronically and my parents, like yours, used to (and still somewhat do) stay up in the wee hours of the morning wondering where she is.

My sister is manic-depressive (like my Dad) and doesn't take anything for it (unlike my Dad). She's also very, very, very, very, very hot tempored.

Enough of about her; it's putting me in a bad mood.

"Time is the glue that bonds a broken heart, but love is the air which dries the glue." -J. Franklin

"Today is a smooth white seashell, hold it close and listen to the beauty of the hours."

[This message has been edited by Daydreamer24 (edited 12-27-2002).]

Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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ahh, so what do we do with our sibs???

she comes and goes; one minute she's ok, then the next she's telling me how much she hates me. i don't seek conflict, so i just suck it up and take it because if it retaliate, i could cause her serious injury (we have had a long history of very violent fights and now that i am much larger and physically more brute than her, i could be a real hazard).

please, does anybody have any solutions to straighten out my sis? or at least tip on how i can either keep her chilled, or just block her out?

Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11096

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I know how you little bro is sooooo annouying.Now he is only six years old, but he really does bite!If I'm on the comp for too long, he'll start hitting me and then he'll tell on me for telling him to shut-up!Good thing he's going to a birthday party today...
Posts: 95 | From: Somewhere USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11096

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P.s. Try being nice to your sister (yes, that's what I said) and maybe she'll realize that she doesn't hate you.If I be nice to my brother, he would do anything for me.
Posts: 95 | From: Somewhere USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7052

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wow... thats quite a predicament...
my sister was a bit of a problem when she was... around 19 i think mayb earlier... she hated everything about her stepfather (he's my adopted-father)... and she gave him no respect and one day lashed out on him... she had to stay with different aunts for a week at a time... and than after about a month i think she came home... its all rather fuzzy to me... i was only about 8 i think (7 year age difference).

she had to go to counciling and we went to family counciling for a little bit... but it didnt seem to help. she would just stay out of the house for as long as possible, and only come home to sleep and perhaps eat. she moved out in mid-college, and shared an apartment... than she got her own little studio thing. she seems to be doing well for herself now... she's on her own and works out of her house (shes a photographer).

i would say... conciling may help, but... it may not help all that much. but i know you said she wont go... i guess you may just have to wait it out...?
as for my little brother (9 yr difference) i have no patience with him, and any little thing automatically bothers me. i just stay away from him, unless i'm in an extremely good mood. and when he starts to bother me i just go up to my room.

he knows all the buttons to press, and i hate how he treats my parents. i hope i didnt treat them like he did! he hits them and yells at them... he still has tempertantrums if he doesnt get his way, and throws stuff. my parents dont discipline him and just give him new toys or games to make him calm down. no offense to them, but i think they're getting too old to handle him and dont have the patience to simply ignore him.

my (adopter father is my brother's father)father told me i used to just sit and scream my head off when i wanted something, and he would just ignore me until i got tired or bored from it... and he brother perhaps whimper and he gets what he wants. argh...

i think my sister was a good 2nd mother to me becuase without her i would probably just as much of a horror as my brother. whenever i try to say anything to my brother abut behaving, my father gets mad because its like i'm telling him how to be a parent... and i get a long lecture. my parents know that i'll usually listen and do what they say, so they're twice as hard on me if i dont listen... yet they let my brother get away with whatever he wants... ugh...

my father keeps saying that my brother will just grow out of it... i feel like saying "yes, dont discipline him... just let him rule over you and magically he will just start respecting you and listening to you. becuase parenting is JUST that easy." but... i'd get in a lot of trouble for that lol... go figure.

okie i complained enough, and i dont think it was to much avail for you. good luck with your sister!

dont worrie b happie... its like a law! =)

hunting for (not real fur) clothes is perfectly fine... hunting for animals is prfectly NOT!

Posts: 239 | From: new york, USA | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shadow Stalker
Member # 2516

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Gumdrop Girl, confront your parents about their lack of disciplining your sister and tell them straight up: "I will not come home again until you do something about my sister/your daughter. Her behaviour towards me is totally unacceptable and I cannot and will not put up with it. If you won't do anything, count me out of the family get togethers."

I have no idea about your interfamilial relations, but threatening to cut them out of your life permanently is pretty effective... but I have no idea if that would work in your situation or not. It's their job to parent, not yours. As for your sister, tell her why you're not coming home again.

Now, what I want to know, is do you have any inkling of why she is so jealous and angry at you?

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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'Effective' does not equal 'right'. While I think it's really important to realize that an individual's happiness is their own responsibility, and not something you can provide for them, trying to fight poor behaviour with equally poor behaviour isn't the way to go.


Where are my goddamned pants?

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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