I have been dealing w/ this for a long time now, but have never really gotten over any of it. When I was about 7 or 8 years old my older brother molested me. After months of this happening my mom found out. But, all she did was give him a lecture and tell me that everything was ok. After that night, noone ever said anything about it or even talked to me about it. At that time I had no clue what he was even doing to me was wrong. As I grew up though, I figured out what all that stuff was about. It hurt me so much that my own brother could do it and that my mother just covered it up. I don't know if they even remember now, but at times I have these horrible nightmares about it all happening or out of nowhere memories or it all will come into my head. For a few years I was able to block them out and just deny that it all ever happened. But, now that I have a great guy as my b/f (and we get more serious) those memories come back into my mind alot more often. It scares me to the point that I push my b/f away from me and hate my brother and my mom. I just wish that there was someway to get rid of them. Sorry that this is so long. I have never really told anyone that all this has happened to me. So, I guess I kind of needed to unload it all.
Posts: 7 | From: Indiana, Pa, USA | Registered: Dec 2002
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It would help you to really unload all these things, and your best bet is to do so with a counselor. Yeah, it is a release to be able to write it all out for someone to read, but there is no real substitute for face to face interaction. I would strongly suggest that you seek a therapist, psychiatrist or even a counselor at school. Tell him/her what you told us, and do your best to work through your problems -- your counselor will walk you through it.
Hang in there, and best of luck
------------------ Correlation does not equal causation.
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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