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Author Topic: Crashing Down
celery
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Has anyone ever felt like everything is just going wrong, nd the world is just crashing down on you?

I just got in trouble by my parents for drugs,drinking,smoking and stuff like that, and I got cut from a camping trip with my friends for a week, I'm grounded for 2 weeks, 2 of my best friends have gone away and my boyfriend (whom I'm not even supposed to be seeing because my parents said I had to break up with him because of bad school marks)

I just feel like I have no escape out of anything, and I just keeping digging myself into a deeper hole, I don't know what to do, I feel useless, and low.

What should I do, I don't really have anyone to talk to except for a couple of friends.

I feel so horrible, I walked in to my house today and my parents searched me, emptied my bag, and then thoroughly searched every nook and cranny in my room for drugs. they heard a conversation between me and my friend about drugs and stuff.
I'm not even allowed to be at my house when no one else is here.

I really don't know what to do, I need something to escape, and I wish I could stop with the drugs and such, but everything really is addicting, I know I need help but my parents don't seem to realize that, they think I just need punishments, which isn't really helping because it just makes me want to do bad things even more because it just pisses me off.

I'm sorry, I just really don't know what to do, has anyone ever been in a similar situation?


Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum7/HTML/000941.html

hey celery, i read what you said in the above thread. does it really surprise you that you're having a hard time right now?

c'mon gal, you're better than that. you're above sneaking around. you're above drugs. you're above getting into trouble. you're above failing in school. you can do better for yourself. it's just a matter of focusing on what's best for you.

I think things will start falling into place for you if you give up all those things that are dragging you down. your parents don't trust you. well, i'd have trouble trusting you too if i found out you were lying to me and getting into trouble.

want things be headed in a better direction? then you're going to need to work for it. when school starts up again, make an effort to lift your grades. stop hanging out with people who are going to lead you into situations where you'll get into trouble (stay away from the bad crowd). Take responsibility for your actions.

we all have hard times. granted my troubles were different from yours, i still felt like the burden of the cosmos was on my shoulders. but y'know what? it shall pass. it'll pass when you take the actions needed to fix your problems.

celery, i've read every single post you've made on this board, and though i'm a complete stranger, i'm sincere when i say, i give a damn. and i'm sure i'm not the only one. we all want things to go well for you. we can only offer you advice -- it's up to you to follow though up on it.

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"In God we trust. All others must pay cash..." faw-choon kookie say.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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Thanks Gummy,
I really really truly do want to do great in school, and quit drugs and all that stuff, and I think that my parents have all the right to ground me, and I think it's a good oppurtunity to keep me away from all the bad stuff.

But about my friends and stuff, I Love my friends to death and I've known most of them since i was little, and I could never just ditch them for stupid mistakes they make, do you think I should try and set a good example by going clean and trying to get them to go clean too?

Another thing is my parents, sure they have a right to be really mad, and punish me, but they just act like they really hate me, and have a strong disliking towards me, and honestly it makes me feel like crap, what should I do?


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-Jill
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You know it might be beneficial to see a family therapist. You can get help regaining your parents trust and respect - not to mention that the right counselor may be able to help with the drug problem.

Ooh, there's also the benefit that bringing all this up to your parents in a calm, mature fashion makes you look just that - calm and mature.

Good luck.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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Thanks, that sounds like a good idea, but beleive it or not, I usually am the calm and mature-ish one, until my parents start screaming and swearing at me :P
Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
emsily0
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i know it's hard to think about now, and i'm not saying they're right to do it, but don't you understand the motivation behind your parents' screaming and flipping out at you?

they're scared and they love you. would you really rather they not give a damn?

i definitely went through a phase in 9th grade where i was "exploring" - in other words, doing drugs, sneaking around behind my parents' backs, and generally heading down the wrong path.

my parents fought me at every juncture. they never searched my room, but they grilled me on where i was going, who i would be with, and if the parents would be home - at the very least. they still do, and i am a dean's list student at a top-20 school. (just goes to show ya.)

my point is, i HATED my parents back then. they were totally cramping my style. it annoyed me to no end.

eventually i realized that the people i was hanging out with were making me ignore my gifts and keeping me from being the person i wanted to be. education was and is too important for me to do that to myself. maybe it's just that i don't really have an addicting personality, or maybe it was a slow realization.


either way. eventually, you will be able to balance your life in such a way that you won't have to give up your friends, but you won't have to give up your happiness either. finding this balance depends on being able to connect with your parents. :-)

em

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Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk - real straight talk about souls - for life is holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locamotive howling off in the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star further. -Kerouac


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mingo
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Celery,
the thing with the friends is a sticky problem. It's one of the hard lesson I learned as I aged that my parents were right, It REALLY does matter who you hang with. I mean, what's going to happen when you're out with them and they're passing around a joint, or doing X or whatever their thing is. Do you really see yourself saying "No, I don't do that anymore." and making it stick. They're going to push, because if you don't do it because it's bad for you, they're going to have to face that it isn't a great choice for them either, and they don't want to do that. Maybe you could say "Look, I'm going to get clean, if you want to join me great, until then I love you but don't come around messing up my recovery". It's harsh and will probably lose you some friends, but you might just save some of them.

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We are starstuff, we are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out


Posts: 126 | From: Ferndale, Mi USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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My friend's would never pressure me into to doing drugs if I was going clean, see that's the thing about my parents and people like them, they think that all the druggys are kids are like "come on just do it, it's fun" and constantly pressure you like that, but it's not anything like that.

Maybe it was when my folks were my age, but definetly not now, my friend's respect my choices and try to help me go clean, just because they are into drugs doesn't mean they don't know what's right and wrong.

I mean ya, they're into drugs, but they know that it's wrong, and that's a risk they're willing to take.


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LilBlueSmurf
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I don't even think it matters how 'supportive' your friends are to you, if they're still doing it in front of you. It's no longer a common interest b/w you, if you're trying to quit.

And people grow up and people change. It's a fact of life. That doesn't mean anyones a bad person ... But i would really consider trying to get w/ a group of people who aren't into the drug scene and see how that works. You can still hang out w/ your old friends when they're not doing drugs, but at the same time you'll have other people you can really relate to in that sense.

Good luck


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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