Okay. I know there are other posts about suicide, depression, self-destruction, and such before, but. . . none of the posts seem to address my particular situation; so I apologize if this is a deja-vu topic. Anyway.
My problem is that I'm severely depressed. I have been getting worse for several years now, and for the last ten months or so have been suicidal. I have asked my mother for help. So she took me to a counselor I'd seen before for various anger issues and such. The counselor, on our last session beofre we moved, recommended that I be put on some sort of medication. I backed her decision. We never got the medication. Now, a couple of months later, I have started cutting again. Various parts of my room I will not spend time in, just to avoid hanging myself in the closet. I have asked my mother and father (not mum and dad; I don't like them that much as to call them pet names) for help several times. My father didn't respond well, said 'We do care' and has done nothing to help me. My mother takes apart my already-damaged ego by telling me it's all in your head, get over it, this is your fault, it's PMS, pretty much the works. She showers my younger siblings with attention, but whenever I do speak up and ask for help, she blames me for everything I feel. Of course. She obviously doesn't understand what kind of pain I'm in, despite that I have tried to explain multiple times. My question is, is there anything I can do? Is this emotional abuse? Is there any way to help myself out at this point? Or am I doomed to suffer until I go to a new school and become friends with the counselors again?
------------------ Don't ask me about my day. Please.
I'm not one to pay attention to anything going on, unless it's in my way. < Koeki_14
What I would suggest, Shenzie, is that you telephone that previous counselor. Tell them you're still having serious problems, ask about the medication that did not happen, and make clear that you do not currently have your parents support in getting the help that you need.
Likely, from a legal standpoint, this does not constitute emotional abuse. As to whether it is outside that sphere it a toss-up. It coiuld very well be, for instance, that your mother had similar problems with depression or self-destructive behaviours and was told the exact same thing: it's hard to say. But whatever the case there, the important thing is that whether it is abusive or not, it's not helping you.
Well first off it sounds to me like you recognize that your parents have some serious misconceptions about mental health, and what actaully causes clinical depression.
My advice is the next time you are feeling seriously suicidal(you actually seriously think you MAY do it or it starts to sound like a GOOD idea) or engaging in self destructive activities like cutting (since it isn't something you want to do it sounds like) you need to find a way to get to the hospital. Don't rely on your parents, get a friend, neighbor, friend's parent, anoyne you can really trust to take you to the hospital. Go to the emergency room. Oppressive suicidal thoughts, feelings, etc... are an emergency when you are actually CONSIDERING it as an option. They may admit you, even if you are a juvenille if they deem that you are in danger of harming youself due to depression. Sure this will aggravate your parents, but it will give you a chance to be observed, and treated by professionals. YOu have to start taking responsibility for your illness, and stop looking to your parents to support you on this. Until they can understand the extent of your illness they can't help you. A professional can.
You also need to try talking to a freind, or a trusted, understanding adult about your depression.Somehow you need to get treatment.
Okay, I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist. BUT it's on the second day of school, August 27th. Quite some time away. And I'll have to leave school early. *sigh* Nice. Oh well, better to have to wait than never get help, no?
------------------ When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. -Matt Groening, Life In Hell
"Pope John Paul today confirmed his opposition to gay marriages. Said that they are unnatural. Gay marriages are unnatural. Then he put on a pointy hat, his dress, and returned to never having sex at all." -- Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect
Well at least you have an appointment with a serius profesional. I hope he/she will be able to help you. Just make sure your parents follow through with any medications this time. Also, just a tip about taking meds for depression. You may not feel COMPLETELY better right away, but if you don't notice any mood change in the first week ( even though some medicines take weeks to build up in the system) call the psychiatrist and let him/her know. In addition if you notice any sid affects like extreme fatigue, or anyhting else make sure you let the doctor know so something else may be tried. There are a lot of antideprressants and other drugs on the market, and sometimes fidning one that really works takes patience.
Also if you need EMERGENCY treatment just remember that there isnothing wrong with going to the ER when you are feeling seriously suicidal...it might save your life.
Hey your not the only one that feels like that i knwo the fellin because i have nbeen through what you are going through although i never went for medical attention i did learn to accept myself. I learned although not the best idea to seperate myself from my parents hostile words of disbelief and simple began to say hey i do what i want n and get it. You can say that is self centered yet i stoped thinking about ending my life so much. I began to only pay attention to those things that made me smile and although now i ahve lost complete touch with my parents i perfer it to wanting to lose myself into a void of death.
------------------ "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."
quote:Originally posted by pelego: I began to only pay attention to those things that made me smile and although now i ahve lost complete touch with my parents
that IS one way to go about it, but i really feel that if Shenzie can find a way to work things out with her parents, without disregarding them completely, she should do it.
Miz Scarlet's advice was awfully sound, and i'm glad you're going to see a professional. however, if you need help in a RIGHT NOW kind of way, you can go to the Suicide Crisis Center which can give you advice and hotline numbers in the case of an emergency.
------------------ Hail Eris! KaAAIXTI! All hail Discordia! 23 Skidoo!
"If you're going to be a non-conformist, you're going to have to wear the uniform."
"Faeries are only friendly until you steal their magical amulet."
"In retrospect, I guess we resorted to cannibalism a bit early."
We went to the psychiatrist today, after leaving school early. The secretary was less than welcoming, our appointment was delayed, and the psychiatrist doesn't like patients under 17. I was irate after 45 minutes there, and whispered to my mom, 'Maybe we shouldjust leave this for another day?! This is b***sh**!' '-I agree.' So we left, without seeing the psychiatrist of course.
Now I'm peeved. I'd been looking forward to today, and hanging on for the sake of hope, of getting help. We'll have to make another appointment with a different psychiatrist, who is probably so busy we'll have to wait _another_ month or two.
There's a good chance I won't make it through this without help, and support from my family is something you get only if you're a 5-year-old crybaby/brat or you're in serious, obvious medical trouble. *curses*
------------------ "And if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence" --Pop Will Eat Itself - Ich Bin Ein Auslander
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.