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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » My friend's brother rapes her

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Author Topic: My friend's brother rapes her
badly_behaved_badger
Activist
Member # 7728

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Ok, let me explain the situation.

My friend is 15 years old and she lives with her dad and her stepmum. Her brother who is 19 lives quite a long way away now, but he used to live with her.

Her brother has been raping her since she was 8, and the last time he did it was about a month ago. My friend is scared she might be pregnant, and she is going to take a pregnancy test.

Her family are very strict and she says she can't tell anyone else about what has happened. I know she should tell the police, but she is so scared. I know her family would probably kick her out if she told them. I feel sick thinking about what her brother has done to her. What should I do? I feel I have no right to tell social services or the police, but I can't just let her suffer. I don't know what to do. If anyone has been in this situation, please give me some feedback on what to do. Thanks!


Posts: 388 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lilfran14
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Member # 6858

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ok now for starters someone should be told, your friends brother is commiting a major crime and to his own sister?? That is sick to think about. You should just be there for her, to talk and to give her a shoulder to cry on, you sound like a very good friend just keep it up and keep supporting her.

Your friend can tell someone else what happened, it takes guts and a friend to go with her, give her support tell her its the right thing to do. her family should not kick her out of the house because shes not the one doing anything wrong, its her brother.

If her family does hold a grudge against her then she should get out of the house because it can be unhealthy for many reasons.

I have been almost in the same situation but it was my dad abusing me and i told my friends but i was scared to tell a higher authority so my friend took it upon herself to call social services, i cant say i wasnt mad, but it didnt last forever and i did realize that she was just trying to help me, and it helped, i dont have to see or talk to my dad every again. which bugs me cuz i would like to have a father but ide rather be safe, get your friend some help. good luck hun!

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~*Katie Frances*~

Why is it that in the
land of the free, home
of the brave, why is it
that i still feel like a
slave.?"

Life is too short..Live it well and with the people you care about.. Don't ever let your work become your life... Go out there and live a little before its too late** Dr. Greene ER


Posts: 183 | From: Buffalo, NY :) | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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In some places, if you even suspect that a child is being abused you have a legal obligation to report it, and can risk legal trouble if you don't. I don't know whether this applies in the UK, but I'm still looking into it. Personally, I believe that reporting suspected abuse is also an ethical obligation, but I know it can be difficult. If you tell, you risk having your friend and her family angry at you, and some upheaval for her. If you stay quiet, chances are good that her brother's behaviour is going to continue, your friend will continue to be afraid of what might happen to her, and probably won't say anything herself, and a sex offender's going to go free and possibly hurt other people too.


There's some info here on what happenes when suspected child abuse is reported: http://www.rapecrisis.co.uk/child_abuse4.htm

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Why scream and shout when you know it's true?
Why fall in love when there's better things to do?


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
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PLEASE tell somebody. PLEASE.

I'll tell you why. When I was little, my borther did the same thing. I was 6, and it continued on until I was about 12, and started again when i got even older. My borther would force me to give him oral sex, rape me, and once even stuck a knife inside me.
I can't tell you how many times I wished somebody would do something. I had been so brutalized by him, that I didn't have the confidence to go forward and DO anything about it. When people found out, it was just ignored.

PLEASE report it. It will likely continue on if you don't. PLEASE.

I can assure you that chances are, your friend will just be eternally grateful taht it will finally stop.


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreveryoung
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I think it would be best to tell soemone of higher authority. When my friend was little she told me she had gotten raped and still to this day she is haunted by it. She can't tell her mom, and i don't know her mom cause again we both go to this bording school.the boy that raped my friend moved out of her state, and she doesn't know where he is
Find the confindence that you know you have! Yes, your friend might be mad at you, but really it's the best thing to do.

Another friend was mad at me for ahwile for telling my housemother somthing similer to this, then she knew that it was for her own good.

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*****@nna-Christine*****


Posts: 87 | From: PA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dude_who_writes
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Sweetie, here's what it comes down to: You are obligated to call the police. If not legally, than morally and ethically, you are. The time for questioning whether or not it's right for you to become involved is over. You know that someone is being hurt, and you know how to prevent it. Contact the authorities.

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Tim
Can You Read Further?

"This man knows not of how this information has affected me
But he knows the color of the car I just drove away in..." -- Alanis Morissette, Flinch


Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~jess~
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and also if you call the police, im sure you can remain annoymouse.

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i love matt
my world


Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Angel_Kisses
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Hun I know how you feel..My Best friend was raped when she was younger..The bad thing is that she won't tell me who did it to her.. She trys to forget,but she cant and she wont..
Do your friend a favor tell someone.. She will be thankful..Trust me..
ANgel_Kisses

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Children in the dark cause accident's:Accident's in the dark cause children.


Posts: 52 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blaze_of_glory1985
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if your going to report him, do it now, while shes still a minor, its a hell of a lot easier to convince pple to do things.
My friends sister was raped and attacked by her uncle, i didn't find out until my dad found her uncle tying to garrott her encase she said anything when he was on his allottment.
my friend still dosnt know, (hes younger than me and i was only 10 at the time) and she could easily be dead now.
It could happen to your friend

Posts: 13 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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