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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » he back handed me

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Author Topic: he back handed me
sweetie with a smile
Member # 7669

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my boyfriend loves me very much and i know this for a fact thing have been tough on us since i found out yesterday that i was pregnant..he has been really upset about it so for a while tonite we were joking around and i dont even remeber what i said but he back handed me hard ... what should i do he said sorry but my face has a bruise..: (.on top of that everone tonite at a party was askin what the bruise was from and i couldnt think of a good cover story...can someone give me advice

Posts: 20 | From: kingston,on,canada | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cute Katie
Member # 6602

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Sweetie, wow, this is not a good thing. Regardless of the situation or what you said, your boyfriend should NEVER EVER hit you. I'm sorry that happened to you, are you okay? This thread might be a good resource for you:

I hope things improve.


"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." ~La Rochefoucauld

Posts: 59 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Member # 384

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Hon, what he did is abuse. Saying "sorry" doesn't matter--the fact is, it should have never occurred to him to hit you in the first place, no matter how angry or upset he was. Physical abuse is never, never acceptable.

Whether or not you choose to give him another chance is up to you. If you do, though, I think you owe it to yourself to make it crystal clear to him that if he ever, ever, abuses you again in any way (not just physically but verbally) you will leave him. Tell yourself that, too, and believe it. It's very easy to get into a pattern where the abuser does something violent, then apologizes profusely. The person being abused takes the abuser back and tells herself (or himself) that this will be the "last time"--only to have it happen again and again.

You deserve better. If you choose to keep your baby, your child deserves better. Please, check out the link Katie provided.

Take care of yourself.

Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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You may find this article helpful: Advice from an Abuse Survivor
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7853

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I just thought I'd let you know that I've been there..through the abusive relationship..and trust me sweetie it doesn't get any better.. It only gets worse.. you've got to get out of it as soon as possible.. especially since you have a baby on the way.
If you would like to talk to me more, my aim name is Eskalinn, or you can visit my website..
Good luck.

Posts: 4 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio, USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6610

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i by no means condone what your boyfriend did to you, and it was definatly wrong, but from experience i know people do things they really regret. I've never hit a boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that, but i'll occasionally smack my siblings, and really regret it after. I'll forget what i'm doing, and just let one go. It doesn't happen often, but it happens.
the way you explained it your boyfriend does seem genuinely sorry.
But as Lady Moonlight said, make it absolutely clear that his actions were unacceptable. What he did was still very wrong, and if you don't feel comfortable, then don't stay with him.

"Everybody thinks i'm such a horrible person, but i have the heart of a little boy. In a jar. On my desk." -Stephen King

Posts: 212 | From: Winnipeg | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7874

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My aunt's husband hit her, for some stupid reason. And at first it was just one time., then every once in a while. Every time there was promises to never do it again. Not she is dead, he killed her, his two kids, and himself. I dont mean to scare you i just want to tell you that things like this happen, and i dont want it to happen to you.
Posts: 22 | From: Lacaster,pa, USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7429

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hi sweetie...I'm so incredibly sorry that you have to go through this...especially when you are dealing with a pregnancy. I'm gonna have to say that I think you should leave him...I have had several abusive partners, but I'm with one now, and I can't help but think that if I would have left him sooner I wouldn't be girlfriend of an abusive rapist. Things always start off good...that doesn't mean that they stay good. I do think that your boyfriend might be genuinly sorry, and he might love you too, but that doesn't make what he did ok. I really wish that I had the option that you have of leaving the guy. . . at least consider taking advantage of it. I hope things get better. Please post an update so we can see how you are doing...I don't wanna have to worry about you.

Posts: 19 | From: Houston, Texas, United States | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8298

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Get out now. It will only get worse. They always say they're sorry, and they always promise that it will never happen again. But once a hitter, always a hitter. I don't know why guys are "wired" like that, but once they hit you they just won't stop. Please, get out now. I've been there, I was there for a long time, and I know, it only gets harder. If you need to talk, you can e-mail me.
Posts: 59 | From: Alabama | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6858

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I to was in an abusive relationship about 2 years ago, when i was a freshman in high school dating a senior. He hit me once, said he was sorry and that he would never do it again, but after he did do it, and he kept doing it, i think he kept doing it because since he did it once he thouht it was acceptable and that i wouldnt care or do anything about it.

During my abusive relationship, my cousin who was 18 at the same was also going through one, but when she finally decided to tell someoen it what to late. Her and her boyfriend had a kid just a few months before, and he ended up raping her and beating her because in their prom picture she had her eyes closed. Now she has two kids at the age of 21 with no father. She did say something, but it was to late, and it took what happened to her to get me to say something. Dont let that happen to you hun, it could be to late.

~*Katie Frances*~

Why is it that in the
land of the free, home
of the brave, why is it
that i still feel like a

Life is too short..Live it well and with the people you care about.. Don't ever let your work become your life... Go out there and live a little before its too late** Dr. Greene ER

Posts: 183 | From: Buffalo, NY :) | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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