ok well monday night i totaly lost it, i got soo frustrated with myself, with the way i look, with my grades, with how stupid i am, that i lost it, i got home from softball and just had a nervous break down or seomthing because i started to throw things around punch walls, and cry and scream at the top of my lungs, by the way i had a basketball banquet that night that i missed.
my rents are divorced and my dad ended up coming over and yelling and screaming at me and telling me to get my butt up were going to the banquet and my dad is a very scary person, i mean my mom divorced him cuz he beat me and my mom, so hes not welcomed around but he invites himself around every once and a while.
so i wouldnt listen to him (which was a first) and he kinda put his arms up like he was going to hit me and them my mom yelled, by that time i started to run outat my room and i was pushing my dad around and telling him to get out of my way.
i went downstairs and i jsut cryed and cryed and cryed and my dad came down and todl me how selfish i was so i finally stood up to him adn told him to leave cuz no one wantd him around and he was like u r one step away from getting knocked out and i will take the consiquences for it, and im like fine hit me hit me come on hit me ill call the police so just hit me and he acaully ran towards me and swung at me but my mom stepped infront of him and stopped it, then my dad told me how much of a failure i was and that ill never make it in sports and i wont play college cuz i cant take it! he really messed with my head, i mean i quit softball, all i do is sit at home and mope, i cant snap outta it and i dont know what to tell people when they ask me whats wrong! I went right to my room and cut my rists with a razor right after my dad todl me that, im in counsling but its not helping me sometimes it makes me more frustrated, im scared for myself, i dont know what to do, and most of my frinds wont talk to me cuz they think whati did to myself was wrong, which is odvious, butthere disappointed in me so they wont talk to me, i have no one to turn to!
------------------ ~*Katie Frances*~ "No i dont want to meet ur friends, and i dont want to start over again i just want my life to be the same just like it use to be"
"In the land of the free, home of the brave, why is it that i still feel like a slave.?"
well. i'm in almost the same situation. but my dad doesn't hit me. he yells and puts me down constantly. and so much in my life is screwed up that i cut myself too. open up to your counsiler. tell them everything. get it out. it will help. go to the doctor and get tested for depression. that's what i am doing. cause i am like you everyday. and ask your mom to change the locks or something so your dad stays away from you for a while. and he needs to get counsiling him self. talk to your mom on how your dad makes you feel. she will understand. good luck hun.
Posts: 17 | From: Huber Heights, Ohio, USA | Registered: Mar 2002
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Well i've never been in that kind of situation, but all i can say is that your father is wrong. I know it hurts but you can't let him run your life. You are your own person and hurting yourself won't help. I know things can get really tough, and you're obviously having some troubles. I think when things happen and you just feel overwhelmed you need to vent, and get out some of that built up tension. You didn't seem to have alot of success with your father, but maybe starting a journal would help. And as for councelling, i think it'll really help you, even if it seems stupid now.
------------------ "Everybody thinks i'm such a horrible person, but i have the heart of a little boy. In a jar. On my desk." -Stephen King
Wow. I really dont know what to say to you except keep your head up. I think things are bad for you know. But have faith in tomorrow.
Posts: 16 | From: Never Never Land | Registered: Mar 2002
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I think this is definatly one of those situations where outside help may be a good option. Things like this are never easy to deal with, and the thing to remember is that tomorrow can be brighter, even when it still seems dark.
Perhaps calling a helpline, or talking to a counselour. Sometimes those kind of things can be a big help.
------------------ 'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling
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