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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » my insides hurt

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Author Topic: my insides hurt
italienprincess
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today, my boyfriend asked me to go over tothis chicks house with him because they are making a movie with some other people for their final exam in oral comm. he said they needed help. i went over there, and i felt totaly stupid because in their little script i didn't say nething, or do nething, and i felt like i was getting in the way. i always feel like i dont fit in and it just put me in such an awful mood, i just sat there on the couch and i didn't say nething to neone. i get like this alot - i just close up. my boyfriend got mad and took me home, and now im sitting here and i dont know what to do. i want to cry and i want to scream but i can't do either. lately ive just felt like falling asleep and never waking up - you have no idea how awful everything is. my mom and i got evicted from our house and had to stay at my grandmas house, and now that we have our own place, the owner says that our dog is too big and we have to get rid of her. my dog is my life, as stupid as that sounds - what am i going to do with out her? nothing good happens, and if it does, it gets taken away. am i that awful that i dont deserve to be happy? i feel like exploding....but i have no one to explode to, no one will listen. i am all alone and it hurts. i feel like my heart is breaking on the inside.
i dont mean to write all this, especially since all of the trouble with the boards, but i dont know what to do. im drowning and no one will help me. i just need someone to vent to.
sorry if i bothered neone

Posts: 130 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
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Sounds like you're having a rough time right now, and probably dealing with some depression caused by all the stuff that's going on.

Is there a counselor or somebody at school you could talk to? Or even just a good friend who'd be willing to listen when you need to sound off?

Regarding the situation with your boyfriend today, maybe you could try to see such things in a positive light. After all, he wanted you to be there. He wanted your company, even though he knew you didn't have a specific part in the script.

I'm sorry to hear about having to get rid of your dog. Have you tried to reason with your landlord? Some landlords will let you pay a "pet deposit," extra deposit money that you pay back when you move out provided your pet doesn't damage anything. Or some landlords in my town charge "pet rent," an extra $10-$25 a month to keep a pet. If you can prove that your dog is well trained and not destructive (hopefully that's the case) maybe your landlord will take pity and let you keep her. Has your mom talked to the landlord about this issue? Would it help if you talked to the landlord for yourself?

Hang in there. Look for the positives whenever you can, and hopefully things will get better.


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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<big, huge hug> Just some reassurance, we care about you here.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italienprincess
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thank you for your response, and again im sorry for writing so much....

the problem with my dog is there is a weight limit, she's too big to live at my apartment. my mom told the lady in charge that i am emotionally disturbed and if we got a note from a psychiatrist would be be able to keep the dog, and the lady said that would prolly work out, if we can get this guy i see just for pills to write a note.

maybe it'll work out, probably not though, nothing does


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Lady Moonlight
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Hey now, hang in there, and try to be optimistic. If your psychiatrist is at all a decent person, it shouldn't be too much trouble for him to write a note saying that your dog is beneficial to your mental health. And it's great that your mom is being supportive and that your landlady is willing to make an exception.

*hugs*


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
troubledsoul99
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Hang in there!
You are not alone and you have more going for you then your realize.

For starters, your Mom must love you tuns or she wouldnt be fighting to help you keep your dog.

It was cool of your boyfriend to include you in the skit, even if it didnt work out. He obviously enjoys your company.

Your dog sounds like a true friend. I really hope they let you keep him. Another scenario: maybe a friendly neighbor could "adopt" him but you still come and take care of him. Hopefully your mom can reason with your new landlord.

A friend of mine had similar experiences when she was growing up-- it was just her and her mom, she had a dog she loved whcih got hit by a car and died around Xmas, there wasnt much money, they had to move to various small apartments, even living above a funeral home once, where their responsibilities included cleaning it at night. BUT she got through this and was able to build solid friendships with girls at school and worked hard on her studies and got a scholarship to college.

Focus on yourself and what makes you happy.
The world can be really rough and many times it seems everything is against you-- dont let that stop you. You are responsible for helping your mom, taking car of your dog, AND making yourself happy!!!

You are never alone. You will be in my thoughts and prayers now and you can always come and chat to someone here.

Talk to a friend at school you can trust-- they might not understand what you are going through, but at least they can listen.

Take care and best wishes.

[This message has been edited by troubledsoul99 (edited 01-09-2002).]


Posts: 10 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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