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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » space for yourself

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Author Topic: space for yourself
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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One of the things I've always done, no matter where I lived, was set up a space that was mine alone, where I could retreat when I needed a break from the rest of the world. My space is somewhere I can go when I want to work on my writing projects without interruption, somewhere to sit by myself and just think, somewhere I can go to be by myself after a fight with my partner. It's one of the things I rely on to keep my sanity intact, and it's nothing short of a necessity for me.

Once, it was an entire apartment -- I was living by myself, I had this fabulously run-down old apartment that I'd decorated with flea-market stuff and Van Gogh prints, and I'd painted all the walls bright colors, and it was my sanctuary.

After I got married, we moved into a house with a treehouse in the backyard, and I appropriated that for my space. I dragged a rocking chair and some blankets and pillows up there, and I'd go out almost every day in the late afternoon and read or journal until it got dark, and then I'd curl up in the blankets and watch the moon come up through the branches of the oak trees.

Now my partner and I are sharing a tiny bedroom at my parent's house, and space is at a premium. I haven't really found a place for myself here, though I've carved out a tiny corner of the room for my books and my computer, so I can sit and read or work. It's not what I'd like, but it's a start.

What are your sanctuaries? Do you have a place to go when you need to think or just be by yourself? What do you keep there? Do you ever let other people into that space, or is it yours alone? If you don't have a space of your own, have you ever considered finding one for yourself?



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"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey

Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2057

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I live with my parents and younger brother, so whenever I get a moment alone, I certainly value my privacy!

My whole bedroom is my personal space (as it the case with a lot of teenagers I suppose). After years of it being pink and flowery, like my mum wanted it, last year I painted it purple. It's full of my crafts and wierd decorative objects, and it is a great reflection of my personality. Even though its primary function is of course sleeping, and occasionally working, I like to just sit there, listen to some music, burn some incense, or read.

Although I like my bedroom being so personal, it does mean that I get very worked up about people being in it. I decided I wouldn't go out of my way to hide anything, because I shouldn't need to in my space. But it's impossible to keep family members out, even when I'm not there. I would like it if they stayed out, but if I even mention that to my mum she would explode.

Right now, the whole house is mine. It shows. There's stuff everywhere and it smells funny.

You wanna save humanity, it's just the people you can't stand-John Lennon

Witness the infinite justice of the new century. Civilians starving to death whilst waiting to be killed.

Manky Confuddledness-My new, improved Blog.

Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

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I too am a space-aholic.

I'm lucky because I have a nice big bedroom all to myself that I tend to retreat to quite a bit. I have a shoebox full of books I'm reading by my bed that I'll dip into each night. I love to read, but it tires me.

Writing or drafting story ideas is also relaxing. I've got almost a whole novel's plot planned (about a bi woman living in medieval europe). I enjoy writing, it allows me to explore things that I can't in real life.

I listen to my walkman/discman before I go to sleep. I lie there in the dark and choreograph video clips to go with the music (starring Gillian Anderson, Annabeth Gish, and moi of course!).

So you can see, space within is more important then space without to me.

Hugs & Scully,
Winnie :0)

Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 4764

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The bathroom!
All doesn't quite count since other people use it too...but I can turn the hot water on and be alone with my thoughts. I'm not a pleasant person if someone tries to interrupt me during a shower!
Furthermore, there's the computer room, where I generally work alone and I can mull through my thoughts.
Don't know what I'd do without my shower and computer.

Scarleteen Advocate

"Calm. Yes. Calm. Calm. Calm! Calm!! CALM!!"
--Ash, while attempting to work instead of bouncing off the walls.

Posts: 1784 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hmm ... I dunno about that one. I live in a rather small house w/ my dad and my cat. It's just the two of us for the most part. I go to school from 8-2:30 and dad's at work from 7:30-5 or so. I often find that i have the whole house to myself if he's gone to Toronto to pick up my sis, gone shopping, or just out somewhere else. And he has the house to himself quite a bit as well, as i'm usually working, at my bf's house or out and about somewhere else. How often are we actually in the same place at the same time? Maybe for about 3 hours a day. The rest of the day one/both of us aren't here or we're sleeping.

I do have my room tho. I keep it as messy as i like, and he comes in here and cleans it for me or b*tches at me b/c it's not clean. Which makes me cranky. I'd keep the doors closed, but the cat needs to get to the litter pan and such ... I also got stuck w/ having the laundry closet (washer and dryer in a closet ... kinda cool). He has him room as well and i don't go in his room too much. I try not to. I know how much it gets on my nerves when he's in here (my room ... ) GRR

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
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My room!!!

I love my room. It has all the stuff i love, and all the stuff that makes me, me. I love to sit up there. Especially in the summer, with the window open when the suns going down and i just write in my journal. It's the most awesome place to relax and be by myself when i'm feeling happy or sad.

"where'ths my mommy?"

Akimsa (non-violence)


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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Hmm. My personal space isn't really that personal but it's where I can sort things out best. I'm speaking of that beautiful ski resort that I work at, of course. (I just got to go back so I'm a little obsessive right now.) Despite the fact that I share my space with hundreds, many strangers, it's still very important to me and let's me get away when I need to.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hmm... on a side note, after the recent posts, is anyone else wondering if ookuotoe could relate ANY word/topic that you bring up to sking?

My personal space? I actually have a couple of untampored spaces. First, my room. This is my sanctuary. Encased in it's light-blue walls and glow-starred ceiling is my world. I've got my writing space, where my computer lives. I've got my entertainment space, where my new DVD player, Stereo, and TV live. I've got my pet's space where my aquarium bubbled happily away, and I've got my reading space where my bookcase lives and is always brimming with my favorite books. Somewhere into that equation, my wonderfully comfortable bed lives... I don't know why, but my room seems to be the only place that I feel totally comfortable.

Aside from, that is, this great, fantastic, surreal clearing in the woods a mile away from my house. I discovered it about a year ago, and it's one of the best places that I've ever encountered. It's one of those picture-perfect locations where a stream is bubbling away off to the side, and hardwoods are all around you. I often go there (in the summer, at least) to meditate and just relax. It's also a great spot to read, and even a spot where I've done a little bit of writing (It's the location where one of the best poems that I've written was first concieved. If you're intrested (sorry for the shameless plub) feel free to read Letting It All Out). The clearing, as I call it, is one of the few spaces where I feel completly myself and comfortable. One of my two sanctuaries.

Tim (a.k.a. the dude)
"Don't knock masturbation-- it's sex with someone I love" -- Woody Allen

Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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My bedroom is the greatest place ever because its big and roomy and I have a stereo and a t.v and video and I have my bookshelf with all my books. I get a cup of hot chocolate, a bar of chocolate, a bag of potatoe chips and I sit on my bed with my music playing, and my book in my hand, I lock my door and stay there for the day. A bomb could go off but I'm not movin'. My room used to have my computer in it but my mam and dad said they never saw me so they moved it out. Somedays I just don't even bother getting out of my p.j's and stay in bed until my mam starts screaming at me to get up and stop being a lazy article)of course she doesn't use the word article!). Ok, there ya go, an episode from my very boring life.
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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