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Rio
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Member # 2072

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A couple of days ago I recieved a letter from my old babysitter. She is a friend of the family and like a second grandmother. She practically raised me for nine years. The problem is that I dont like to go to her house b/c of stuff that happened to me there. The in the letter she sent she informed me we hadn't seen ea. other in months, and also that she would like to see me. I hate it when i get these letters b/c I know i owe her a visit. Just going over there is pretty tough on me and now i have to. Does anyone know how I can make this visit less painful? Thank you in advance to anyone that responds
hugs
rio

Posts: 60 | From: near Indianapolis | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keoki_14
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Why do you have to go? You shouldn't do anything you're uncomfortable with.

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Sarcasmic, orgasmic, fantasmic...


Posts: 620 | From: Columbia, MD, USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
'rin
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um......if she's not the person who did these bad things to do (which i'm going to assume because you dont' seeem adverse to seeing her, just going to her house) why don't you suggest meeting for lunch someplace? maybe going shopping/mini-golfling/to a movie/insert activity which does not require going to her house here. that way, you would get to see her and you would not have to return to an environment you were tramatized (?sp) in.
'rin

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"-and i hope i'm not shooting my mouth off...again...and i pray i'm not tempting the fates....."
-james, off millionaires


Posts: 219 | From: lost in yonkers | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rio
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I have to go there b/c the woman cared for me and loves me like a family member. Plus, my parents make me. The last time I had to go to dinner with her I was telling my parents that i didn't want to go and they got mad at me. They started telling me all of the stuff they weren't making me do. I was soo mad. After we picked her up I almost started crying twice, but I had to pretend that everything was perfect. Now I have to do it again arg. The last time I went to her house I felt sick to my stomach. I hate seeing her b/c it just reminds me of things i dont want to think about. It seems that though my parents know this they dont really care. I guess it shouldn't matter though, b/c I owe it to this woman she took really good care of me for nine years.

Rio

[This message has been edited by Rio (edited 05-26-2001).]


Posts: 60 | From: near Indianapolis | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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You know hon, 'rin is right. Why not just call her up and explain that while you would love to see her, you are just not comfortable meeting at her house and could you meet somewhere nice for a cup of tea or lunch.

Maybe it won't be so difficult for you if you see her outside the place that caused you so much pain. But hon, if it is going to be really difficult for you, you should just explain to her that you are not ready to meet her yet. If she loves you, she will understand.

Forcing yourself to do something that is obviously bringing you alot of pain cannot be something good. Try sitting down and having a good talk with your parents in regards to this issue as well. Good luck sweetie.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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Member # 1207

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I'm gonna have to go against what everyone is saying ...

You're hiding. You can't see this woman who cares so much about you b/c of your past issues that you haven't dealt w/ yet. If you had dealt w/ them by now, you really wouldn't have this problem.

So deal w/ it. Talk to your therapist about it and maybe you can talk to this woman about it too. Maybe she'll be able to tell your parents to back off for a bit until you get things sorted out for yourself ...

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For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
~ Winnie the Pooh

In a Smurf's world ...


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
'rin
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i dunno......you should talk to a therapist and get past then, but until you do it is pretty pointless to just rip the scab off the wound as it were. if seing her is also bad right now you may want to keep up written contact, or call her once in a while, until you have resolved the issue. you may also want to TELL YOUR PARENTS about it so maybe they will be more understanding about forcing you to go. good luck, this seems like a really painful issue for you, and bottleing it up doesn't seem to be working. please find a good therapist/counsuler/clergyperson/friend and work on this, you'll feel better once work this out.
'rin

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"-and i hope i'm not shooting my mouth off...again...and i pray i'm not tempting the fates....."
-james, off millionaires


Posts: 219 | From: lost in yonkers | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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