We read Ellison's Invisible Man a few months ago, and it got me thinking. Right now, in certain areas of my life, I really feel as though I'm being ignored..essentially invisible. I sometimes feel as though people pass over things I say or do, and that my presence or contributions aren't noticed. This only happens once in awhile - I generally have decent self-esteem and am confident that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. But certain situations lately have made me feel as though I'm invisible or don't matter, as my thoughts or ideas are often ignored. Makes you wonder if there's a conspiracy out to get you just by ignoring you, right? My question is..does anyone else feel this way at times? If so, what do you guys do about it? Or am I all alone - and invisible - on this one?
Posts: 164 | From: U.S.A. | Registered: Apr 2001
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you're not alone. I've felt that way before and still, I sometimes thing about the "conspiracy" you said. Really, it's like some days everyone ignores what you say or do. It's probably just an impression.
------------------ - I hope I shall be able to confide in you completely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.
I've felt this way, too. Sometimes I just try so hard, but hardly anyone notices my work. I think a lot of it is that my parents EXPECT me to work hard (which is great, because I have learned to be motivated and do my best), but I don't get as much praise when I get an A as some other people do, because it's just expected.
As for outside of my house, I've learned that there are times when people really just won't care about my work. It's a harsh reality, but sometimes people just don't care. A lot of the teens in my school are so wrapped up in themselves, their partners, their clothes, or their make up that they don't go out of their way to notice me. But I have met a lot of people who DO appreciate my work and who DO see me. And they've meant the world to me. It's that they actually care about me and are truly willing to listen to me, encourage me, congratulate me, and comfort me. And I'm willing to do that for them even more when they express their kindness, because showing their interest in me only makes me appreciate them more. It's like a circle of love .
But there will still be those times when it's like, "Hello! Yea, over here! Here I am! Look at me!" And some people may ignore me, yes, but I think most of the time I can count on loved ones to notice and appreciate me.
Sometimes when I find myself so far away from being noticed by my parents or close friends, I have to talk about it with them. "You know, I feel like you've been passing over me a lot lately. I would really like it if maybe we could talk more or if you would acknowledge my work and presence. I just really need that right now." Sometimes it just has to be said, and that's all you can do. It's up to the other person to decide if they'll change or not.
------------------ Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
"Well, I use fertilizer and a new product I got at The Home Depot."
[This message has been edited by Mary (edited 05-23-2001).]
There are days when I think, "Someday I will be appreciated," and then daydream of a rosy-tinted future in which I am enshrined in the glory of millions--no, billions!--of adoring fans.
And of course, said delusion apparently has no intent of transforming into reality. So do I feel invisible? I think that on the whole, I feel appreciated by my friends, and at least acknowledged by my peers. So some students are less than enthusiastic toward me--that's life. You simply can't be adored, or liked, by everyone (although several people on these boards might be living proof to the contrary, because of their sheer niceness).
It's a nice feeling when someone listens to you. Go on, share the feeling with the next person.
Posts: 87 | From: bay area & new england | Registered: Apr 2001
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I have the same problem with feeling invisible. As a child in second grade, my first year in public school I felt that I was invisible. Many times I wished I was actually invisible. I was painfully shy and highly sensitive to new situations. As an eight year old child I couldn't even begin to understand this. I hated myself in every aspect of the word because I could not fit in no matter how hard I tried. I just wanted all of you "invisible" people to realize you aren't invisible and you do count and you are worth A LOT!! Don't let other people's comments or ignorance get you down! As I got older,... I think it started when I turned 15 I slowly began to crawl out of my shell and I am still working on this problem. I may have to work on it for the rest of my life but I will never give up. Men began noticing me at 15.. and they still do. I am now 19 and I don't feel as invisible, but I still get those feelings of non existance because of lack of attention. Hang in there all you invisible men and women!!
Posts: 5 | From: carlton, OR USA | Registered: Oct 2001
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