Ok, this is about one of my friends.
He's actually my ex-boyfriend, and after we broke up we remained friends for a few months, but now I decided we just couldn't be friends so we do't talk anymore.
Obviously I still like him and care about him, so that's why I'm here
After we broke up, he had like a big crush on a girl who didn't like him back, and who actually enjoyed taking advantage of his feelings. He didn't notice that, coz he was perfectly convinced she did like him but was just recovering from a break-up herself and "needed time to think". Well... as time went by he got kind of "stressed" or semi-depressed or something like that, coz he began to cut his arms, like small cuts.
He told me, he told the girl he had a crush on, and to at least another of his friends. The girl he had a crush on knew that somehow she was to blame (although I know she didn't intend to be a cause of anything), and eventually tried to talk him off it sometimes, but without result, coz he was becoming addicted to her and addicted to love her - that's weird, I know...
So, one of his friends went to his house one day and like "stole" the little crafts knife he had been using. It was really nasty, old and dirty, I wonder how he didn't get any infection... so she tried to talk him off cutting but no use again...
I myself tried to tell him that cutting was neither a mean to get something he might have wanted, or a mean to make something become easier for him, but he'd just not listen to anyone.
Neither of us girls told his parents or anyone else, so I guess we were friends just trying to help even if we couldn't.
Well, he has been in a handfull of relationships since we broke up, lasting from 1 or 2 weeks to 1 month, and I guess he never stopped cutting during any of them, and all the girls knew about it I guess.
The other day, his last girlfriend (named Bela) came looking for me (we used to know eachother a year back and were close during some time), saying that she had something urgent to tell me. Well, apparently my ex-boyfriend's mother had called her, she was desperate as she had found out about her son cutting his arms, and wanted my Bela to talk to him and help him.
Bela told me what she told his mother: that she was no longer his girlfriend, and he didn't care about her anymore and wouldn't listen to her, because when they were dating she told him to not to cut himself, and he said something like "you can't tell me that coz I rule my life"...
So Bela was asking me to help him as (in her words) he still cared a lot for me and he would listen to me and it was me who he needed. Well, afte these words I had to tell her I was no longer a friend to him coz it was just not possible due to his umbearable -for me- personality changes, and that I tried to help him in the past and he wouldn't care.
So, what I'm seeking here, is... he has been cutting for about 5 or 6 months now. He does only 1 or 2 light small cuts everytime, using broken audiotape boxes or anything with sharp edges. The cuts he's doing are really small and physically they would be "harmless", but their harm is emotional here.
I was trying to know from everyone, but particularly from other cutters or ex-cutters if you get/got professional help, who decided you needed that, and how long after you started...
I really think maybe he needs professional help, although here in Portugal the system works in a different way and I think it would get expensive (and his familly is poor).
I'm only thinking about pro help now because in the beggining I really thought it was just a phase he was going through because of the girl... as I went through something similar and I stopped cutting after a couple of months - still, I didn't do it as often as he does...
So, thanx for reading till the end, I know this is a long post!