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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » thoughts?

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Author Topic: thoughts?
andromeda
Neophyte
Member # 3652

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Okay, so..
A good friend of mine and myself were discussing sex and whatnot and then we eventually ended up talking about what if we had sex together (we're both virgins). Anyway, I feel perfectly comfortable with him and want to try it, although it won't be a profound emotional experience I'm okay with that. The thing is I want to know if anyone else has ever been in this situation and do they regret it? Am I being stupid here?
I just wanted to know before I went ahead and did something that seems fine now but will make me feel bad/gross in the end.

Posts: 3 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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well, i've never had sex with a best friend. so i'm not exactly speaking from experience.

but if i may throw in my two cents, can i ask what you are asking from this experience? do you want to have a relationship with him that goes beyond being his friend? if this isn't what he wants, then you might end up very disappointed. (btw, the vice versa is true on his end).

can you openly talk about birth control options with him? can you ask, "hey, i think i like these condoms, but what about you? ribbed? or contoured for extra pleasure?" this applies to dating couples, too.

have you read the sex readiness checklist? you might think you're ready, but are you **really** sure. and it won't hurt to read the article, it's not like you'll be blinded thereafter.

are you afraid of feeling gross? are you afraid of being naked? are you afraid of retribution by higher beings? then sex is probably not the thing for you right now.

personally, i'm not a big fan of sexual experimentation just for kicks and curiosity. some people are, and that's just fine. but i put a lot of emotional stake into my relationships (i'm neurotic!), and i simply can't handle playing or getting played because i feel like i've been let down, or i feel like i've let myself down.

anyway, good luck. do what you think is right

------------------
The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
golden101
Activist
Member # 3133

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Yeah you also have to think about what *could* happen....like pregnancy. But if you are going to go through with this, be protected hun. This decision is up to you. I have never been in that type of situtation so like Gumdrop girl i do not know this from experience. If you think you might feel gross then simply don't go through with it.
But if you want to do it, it's your decision. Like what Gumdrop girl said, do what you truly feel is right and comfortable. Good luck to ya hun

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Duff
Activist
Member # 2176

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Personally, i don't advise sexualy contact with friends, i have experince, i've never slept with any or them, but if your not intrested in a sexual relationship, then i wouldn't have sex with them. But if you feel like it will be all good and safe then go on with it, but if you're not comfortable then don't do it.
Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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