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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Family Advice

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Author Topic: Family Advice
fierystarlet04
Neophyte
Member # 2026

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Well, you all see, my folks and i don't exactly get along very good at all. I mean we never did, but every thing is so much worse now. Maybe at least telling you all will help me feel better.

A couple days ago, yesterday actually, i went with my friend, Linds, to a chorus concert and then to chill with our boyfriends. We had to walk to see them and walk back home which is like oh say 16 miles round trip(we do this all the time), but only this time i was trashed more than i ever was b4. I was going to be late b/c i couldn't find myself a ride home and my boyfriend couldn't either. So i phoned home or the lady i was with was going to call the cops. I went through h*** to get home. I mean pure h*** and then when i got home it was even worse, even tho i called to tell them that i'd be home late. I know what i did wrong, i shouldn't have gone to see my b/f because i'm not supposed to date until i'm 16 but i can still have a boyfriend. I hope you can make sense out of this by the time i am done.....anyhoo, i totally explained everything to my parents and they don't think that it's the truth, but it is. They told me i'm not allowed to talk to linds anymore cuz she was my partner in crime. I know what i did wrong and i would punish myself for doing what i did, and i told them this but now here's my consequences:
-can't use phone
-not allowed to stay home by myself any longer
-can't talk to my one and only friend
-I can't go to bed or my room until 10, neither b4 or after

They are restricting me from everything, but it's my punishment. And i understand that i lost their trust and i have to earn it back...but they aren't even listening to me. And to top it all off i could be having a baby, but that's a different story. I just needed to say this. No one else is even listening at all to me. I wish i was clear-headed enough to explain everything really well but i'm not.
What do you think i should do? Stick it out? Act all nice and stuff until i have earned some of their trust back? I think that they have gone a little to far on not talking to my friend outside of school but i can't say anything that will help me. I would like some feedback on this from adults and parents especially but anyone is free to add their 2 cents. Thanks.

[This message has been edited by fierystarlet04 (edited 04-23-2001).]


Posts: 19 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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You said yourself, more than once, that you know what you did was wrong. So yeah, i'd say you really have to stick it out.

You say you were trashed ... Right? I think that is reason enough for your parents to 'not be pleased' w/ you. You're underage. Simple as that. If that's the reason you went out, then yeah, i'd say you're fairly being punished.

I understand your bf dilema tho. You can see many guys, but not commit to one. Is that what you're saying? Why do you feel you need to commit? For whatever reason, you need to tell your parents this. If you don't tell them, they won't know how you feel. Not saying that will change their decision on you not being able to have a bf tho...

Linds was your partner in crime. You know that Maybe they think that she's the reason you did what you did. I have no idea. Again, you have to talk to them. Don't try to talk them out of your "punishments", just let them know what really happened. You're already in dog doo, you might as well fess up to all of it

Good luck, hun.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Activist
Member # 384

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quote:
Originally posted by fierystarlet04:
And to top it all off i could be having a baby, but that's a different story.

Well, based on this statement, for starters, you should have a pregnancy test and a full STD/STI screening. If you had unprotected sex, you owe it to yourself to make sure you're okay, and from now on, please use condoms and other safer sex tools

LilSmurf has made some good points. You made your choices, and now you have to live with the consequences. Whether your parents are being too strict or not, I can't judge, but you are in no position to bargain, especially as it sounds like this isn't the first time you've broken their rules.

Since it sounds like you're not going to have much of a social life for a while, maybe you could actually advantage of this time to do some thinking about what happened, what you could have done differently, and what you might choose to do differently on another occasion. You could even write some stuff down. I often find making lists and writing things helps me get my thoughts in order and get a clearer view of the situations in which I find myself.

I don't think just "acting all nice and stuff" is going to hack it...you have to really do some serious thinking and be prepared to make some changes. I don't know about your folks, but mine could always see through my acting jobs.

Bad as it may seem at the moment, you're lucky to have parents who care about you. They don't want to see you hurt or in danger, and they're being tough on you because some day you'll be grown up and on your own and you'll have to be tough on yourself.

------------------
And I've got no illusions about you.
Guess what? I never did.
When I said, when I said, "I'll take it."
I meant, I meant As Is.
--Ani DiFranco, "As Is"


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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