Okay, well i was one minute at a Karioke party all fine, and dandy happy singing songs, and then i dunno, my boyfriend spazed out on me, and i was just feeling totally rejected. The next thing i know he and i are out in the west village yelling at each other, about nothing at all and i;m barefoot cursing out anyone who dare give us any attention. On the was to his house, i just i dunno felt so confused and angry and sad, and just kept thinking about how worthless i am.
The next day i woke up not wanting to eat, have sex, or talk. usually those are my first initiatives not in that order. I dunno i just felt so timid, and i just slept and wouldn't talk to anyone. then i left and went to look for my friends, i had talked to one on the phone, and later that day i had come to realize that i hadn't been invited to him birthday party.
all in all, things felt rather unsatisfying when i made the effort to actually do them, it just felt like that day reflected my whole life, and then i went home and slept, and felt bad.
i still feel bad in ways, just like i dunno i have a lot of issues with a lot of people, and things that i only think about and not say anything about because it seems pointless.
My self image is always fluctuating, one minute i'm a sexy sexy girl in my mind, the next, i'm not eating, or throwing up when i do. So i have no idea what to do. all i know is that it's like a rollercoaster, and the onlything i'm holding on to is tomorrow.
I can't tell you if that was a breakdown. I don't think any of us can. We're not licensed doctors ... We can only tell you what we think based on our own experiences.
It sounds to me (again, i'm not a doctor ... not even close) like you're having a little bout of depression.
This is normal in teenage life. I was actually having this very discussion w/ my aunt yesterday. It is very normal.
They (trained medical professionals) say that you should seek help after 2 straight weeks of these symptoms (such as change in sleep patterns and appetite). The major one, in your case, that sticks out in my mind is that you don't want to do the things that you would normally enjoy.
You need to find someone to talk to. A teacher, your parents, and older sibling, your doctor ... someone you trust. You need to pinpoint whatever it is that's eating away at you, or it just won't get any better. This is just one of those things that doesn't go away w/ time, you need outside help.
I've been through this. A few times. So i'm defineatly speaking from personal experience.
If you ever need to talk you can find me on icq or email me at email@example.com. I'm always here to listen ... Best of luck, sweetie
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