Hey, hows it going? I guess I am just feeling a bit depressed today. I'm sitting here eating a whole bag of Resses Peices, and am considering not throwing them up, lol.
We had a special Easter program at church tonight, my family hasn't ever gone to church with me, and I kept bugging my mom to puh-lease go with me just this one, and she PROMISED. But then at the last minute she changed her mind, and I ended up going alone like I do every Wed. and Sun. I guess it's not a big deal though. Cause I sat with my friends anyway.
Tomorrows Easter and I feel like I should be really happy, I mean, its a wonderful holiday, I am so selfish for feeling this way, I should be celebrating Christ and instead, I am acting like a prick.
I guess its because I know that when I go to church tomorrow, I am going to see everyone with their families and mine won't be there. It just depresses me, I need to get over it.
You don't need to get over it. You need to tell your mother, again, just how important this is to you. Instead of buying chocolate or making a special dinner, make it clear to her that ALL you want is for her to come w/ you to church. Just once.
Keep in mind tho, not everyone is a "church go-er". I'm sure as heck not. I went to church from the time i was born until i was about 5 and then again when i was 16 (on my own, just exploring my religion), and decided it's just not for me. Maybe she feels the same. While you may have friends there and people you know and are comfortable w/, she may not.
Just playing devils advocate ... Gotta love it
Just talk to her. It's not fair of her to break her promises to you. If she has no intentions of going, she should just say that. She's gonna break your trust in her all together, if she's not careful. Just talk to her. I don't know if i can say that enough ... hehe
Whats really awful though, is I can't talk to her. I really really cant. I have tried before and she just gets mad. She doesn't like me to talk about anything. Its not even so much that I want her to come to church, but I really just wanted to spend some time with her. But then again, sometimes I don't. We don't get along at all. Never have actually. I can sit here and say I don't know why. But I do. She never wanted me. She told me that she didn't mean to get pregnant. But yeah know, what the heck am I supossed to do?
Posts: 64 | From: Florida | Registered: Nov 2000
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The only reason I say that is b/c you said how she tells you she didn't mean to get pregnant ... Could it have been the timing? My grandmother tells my mom that she was a mistake all the time ... and she was. But it was also the best mistake she ever made, and she tells my mom that too.
If you want to spend more time w/ her, you have to let her know. Find something you both enjoy doing, and go do it! My mom and i made a coffee nite. It was every Monday or Wednesday (depending on her schedule), and we would go drink coffee and eat ice cream and cake ... it kinda took the sting off telling her all my personal stuff. Sometimes on the wknds we would also go bowling or go out for lunch ... it was just our time alone, together.
A lot of parents feel the same way you do about your mom. They want to spend time w/ their kids, but kids always have something better to do (I read about this in the paper today, actually). You need to open the lines of communication. Tell her exactly how you feel and ask her how she feels.
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