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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » HURTING INSIDE..*cries*

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Author Topic: HURTING INSIDE..*cries*
Pinkest FLAVA
Neophyte
Member # 2457

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ok well i met this guy about a month ago, and i really liked him, i went round his house last sunday and LOST MY VIRGINITY to him....

i find out from one of his mates last night that he'd been sleeping with another girl...god knows how long for, 4 days after me.....even though he said he reall liked me, why would he need to go els where???

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U think you've finally found someone you really like.........then he goes and sleeps with another girl...</vents>
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N*I*K*K*I*


Posts: 33 | From: the darkest corner of hell...well i feel like it *is depressed* | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Aw, honey. Biggest, BIGGEST hugs to you (and it is good to see you, even if it is because of this).

The truth is that very rarely in life can one person suit all of someone's needs, and that isn't a bad thing. People who usually look to only one person to do that are often stalkers.

But in this case, it doesn't sound like an issue of emotional or sexual needs not being met on his part. It simply sounds like someone who isn't exactly skilled in the self-control, maturity and sincerity department. Too, comittments usually come to be because two (or more) people talk about the status of their relationshipp and their needs and make an agreement. No one is a mind-reader, and often, two people don't simply assume that being with another means that is who they are ONLY with, unless you both discuss that.

But you aren't the problem. He's his own problem, and probably not talking about this beforehand is another part of the problem. Unless you did, and he lied to you. Then he's more than a problem. He's a jerk.

(I'd also advise, though I know the timing stinks, that you get into your local clinic soon for an STD or STI screen, since it's probably safe to assume you two didn't have one together before this, and if he's been dishonest about this, who knows what else he hasn't been honest about.)

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Allicat1
Neophyte
Member # 3292

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I'm sorry you got hurt by this guy, i really am. But I'm going to be like my mother on this one (gasp!) and be the eternal optomist. It will be ok in the long run, and you will come out being a stronger person in the end. It will work out, and you'll end up all the wiser.

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Alli


Posts: 10 | From: US | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pinkest FLAVA
Neophyte
Member # 2457

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thank you so much for replying i really needed that advice

i did use protection....im assuming cos i didn't see and he kept moaning about hating them all the way through and saying that i would be better with out it...so im sure we did use something..i asked him to OF COUrSE...i still haven't figured out what im going to do yet, and i did tell him that i wanted a relationship but he explained that he didn't before hand..now i know why???

but the problem is i still wanna be with him...but if he doesn't want a relationship my friend suggested i tell him to forget it completely cos im not fooling around with him knowing that he's sleeping with another girl it makes me feel sick


Posts: 33 | From: the darkest corner of hell...well i feel like it *is depressed* | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Even if you used a condom, honey, HPV and Herpes are transmissable around condoms, and if he's having other partners right now your risk was heightened Do yourself a favor: get tested. make it one less thing to worry about.

If you feel you still want to be with him, perhaps the best thing to do is to make yourself write out a list of reasons WHY. What about him and all this is appealing or beneficial to you?


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Pinkest FLAVA
Neophyte
Member # 2457

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wouldn't i know if i had a sti though? mind u i have been itching a bit

i really do wanna be with him...and as soon as he gets back from paris im gonna have a really good talk to him and find out WHY he did that, even though i wasn't with him, it still hurt me so much!

hopefully things will get better once its sorted out


Posts: 33 | From: the darkest corner of hell...well i feel like it *is depressed* | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ella
Activist
Member # 1168

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First off, about the STD thing, you won't always have immediate symptoms so it's important to get yourself completely checked out just in case. When it comes to the relationship issues, it sounds like he just isn't ready for one. You have to be very clear about what you want and don't think that having sex with him will make him change or want to be with you and only you. I hope you get what you want from the situation and I'm sending you lots of good vibes.

Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italienprincess
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Member # 3087

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*****even more hugs from me

he didnt' need to go elsewhere, he needs to get a life.
most girls learn the hard way that guys can be the biggest jerks in the world.
just wait.
maybenot today or tomarrow, but one day you'll find a great guy.

as for your virginity, i myself lost it in a way i wish i hadnt. my mom told me that it didn't count. it has to be speacial to count.


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italienprincess
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Member # 3087

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*****even more hugs from me

he didnt' need to go elsewhere, he needs to get a life.
most girls learn the hard way that guys can be the biggest jerks in the world.
just wait.
maybe not today or tomarrow, but one day you'll find a great guy. i know that in the mood you're prolly in, that is the last think you want to hear, but its true. its like with cereal, you have to go through all the icky stuff until you get to the prize at the bottom.

as for your virginity, i myself lost it in a way i wish i hadnt. my mom told me that it didn't count. it has to be speacial to count.


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Aphrodite
Neophyte
Member # 997

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*hands kleenex* there there..
Others please listen carefully to some of the bad effects of sex before mariage. I feel so sorry for you But never worry its jerks like him who get run over by 86 year old grannies in mach trucks*. You should take action and tell him EXACTLY how you feel. But in the meanwhile grab Some friends and go see the latest funny flick to get your mind off things for a while.

*Unfortunately not true, its more common for 87 year olds to drive trucks..not


Posts: 17 | From: Sydney, NSW, Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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