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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Long Distance Relationships (LDRs)
ErinK
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People end up in long distance relationships (LDRs) for a variety of reasons; sometimes one partner moves away, sometimes you've met in one place and both end up in other places, and sometimes you start relationships where both of you are in other places. And sometimes you meet someone over the Internet...

anyways, I started this topic in support groups to give people in LDRs or about to be in an LDR a chance to swap stories and get some support.

Have at.

Erin, home from visiting LDR #2


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Lin
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I'm not in a LDR now but I probably will be about a year from now.

And it's probably going to be long. Either an 18 or 23 hour plan ride.

And I have alot of issues I am trying to trash out now before I have to leave.

Thanks for starting this topic Erin. I'll need it.


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Nookiebabe16
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LDR's CAN work! It really makes me sad when people say they cant because I am a prime example of how long distance relationships CAN work! I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago over the net, which was wierd for me because I was always the one making fun of other people for meeting that way. Well for about a year we became really good friends and one day we decided to meet. I live about a 10 hour drive away from him. It was really like magic! When i first saw him I was like..HOLY HOTNESS! but hes also such a great person inside too. The next 2 years have flown by so fast. We said we wouldnt be in a serious relationship with each other until we had met, and then we could decide. My friends think its stupid and dumb, but I dont. He is seriously my soulmate. I dont know what I would do without him So my basic theory is that LDR's CAN work but only if both parties are willing to deal with the hurt and pain of not being there with each other all the time. My bf is coming down to Massachusetts for college in September so then we will be able to be together every day. Good Luck Lin and anyone else in an LDR!
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emsily0
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i think LDR's are really tough. especially if you started out in a "normal" (haha) relationship, it's just a tough tough transition to make. it's been more than 6 months for me, now, and i still can't get used to it.

fortunately, our relationship is still strong. it takes a lot more effort to communicate, you lose all the little chances you would have if you were living near each other. it's really easy to fall into the mindset of "we shouldn't waste our time together/on the phone fighting."...but if you don't fight, you fall apart.

i've recently realized that i take the whole LDR thing much harder than my partner does. ny mother says i'm "too involved" with him (she meant because we're having sex), and that makes me think that maybe i love him just a little bit more...

i'm having a lot of issues with him lately. i like this forum.

em

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Once in awhile you get shown the light
in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

-The Grateful Dead


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Daniel
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I'm kind of in an LDR. And it's fantastic in a way, I still have my freedom... I just know if I could see my girlfriend every day, I'd never get any university work done! But when she comes to study at my uni in 6 months, I think we'll have calmed down so we can get our work done... well, maybe after a couple of weeks
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Lucky1402
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The last time I was even close to being in a relationship it was long distance. I went out casually with this guy and he called, but we never got to see each other. It was sad too, because he was the first guy who liked me who I really liked back. Then he quit calling because he was taking pre-college courses, and he was in drama club, band, and choir and he got too busy. Then it was a chain reaction, because then I quit calling him since he was never home and never had time to call back. I haven't seen him in a couple months, and it's driving me crazy! Needless to say, the relationship didn't work out.

He's graduating in June, works all summer at a theater, and in September he's enrolling in the military. Bummer.

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*^Lucky^*
Come check out what's goin on in Lucky's mind!
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today."


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Kimiko
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Here's my spill on LDR's. I'm currently in one. Here's alittle info. My bf and I met over the net two years ago in a BBS chat room. I was just getting over this guy I was dating for two months that blew me off for no reason, when my bf came into the room. We started talking as just net buddies. We then started talking in private over ICQ, and I found we had alot in common. Negitive and postive. Like him and I were constanly abused by our families, mentally and physically. So we had a connection from the start. We understood what the other went through and we were there supporting each other like those in this board. That's all it was supposed to be. I just wanted to be his friend because I was feeling low on the self esteem because of the guy before him. But the more I spoke with him, the more fond I grew of him. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and it just came out like an explosion, and I said over the pc that I was in love with him. He said that he was too. And we've been together ever since. He's helped me in so many ways. He taught me to love myslef for who I am because I've had so much happen to me. (Being raped twice, sexual abuse from my uncle, verbal abuse, physical and mental abuse. I've had it all.)I've always had negitivity in my life and then all of a sudden this positive thing comes into my life. I refused to believe it. But he loved me for who I am, my personality and all. We're both totally in love with each other. He lived with me for a month at my house in the summer and he came to visit in Dec last year, for a week. I plan to visit him in MI, for my week end in April. At this point, we are planning to be sexualy active. We've planned everything out. (Me on the pill and him brining a condom etc.) We're pretty serious and we plan to get married after I finish schooling in Canada. Becuase he's American, the distance thing gets to me sometimes. You have to be really strong to get into a LDR. But if you believe that you can make it, then I know it will work out. Both have to be willing to do it. It's not just a two way street, same with everyother relationship. We had problems with people always mocking us by saying how it wasn't a real relationship just because of the fact that we met off the net. I get people saying that it's pointless for me to commit myself to one person who is so far away and then they question his faith to me. They don't know him as I do, and they don't know how deeply he cares for me. I've never been right on anything in my life, but all I know is that, ever since he came into my life, my life has taken a turn for the best. I honestly can't remember the last time I was so happy. He makes me so happy and I do the same for him. He's the greatest thing. Such a positive influence on me and my self esteem. So, I say that LDR's can work if you are willing to make it work. Good luck to all of you on finding the love of your life, weather it be by dating, blind dating, net or phone chatlines. As long as both of you are happy. But just remember you still have to be careful about giving out your personal info over the net. If you need any advice on LDR's and what exactly you may go through, you can ask me anytime.

I love this board and it's members. Thank you for making a support board for rape survivors, and so on. This truly is an outstanding place for teens like me to go, if I need any help on anything. Thanks alot!


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KittenGoddess
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Well I'm currently in a fabulous LDR. He's actually coming to visit me in 12 days, and I'm so excited that I can hardly stand it! I think one of the hardest things about these relationships is when one partner is going through a difficult time, and the thing you want to do the most is just hold that other person and make it all go away for a while, and you just can't. I know my boyfriend is going through something right now, and he's having a hard time letting me help him. But that's just one of those things that comes with these kinds of relationships.

~KittenGoddess

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"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."
~Lily Tomlin


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BruinDan
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Ohhh, thank you thank you thank you for a topic I can completely relate to!

Yup...I'm in an LDR alright. I first met my girlfriend on October 26, 1997. We were both freshman at UCLA and lived in the same dorm. She was on the 10th floor ("The Penthouse"), while I was on the 3rd. Some fools elected me floor president, so I used to have get-togethers in my broom-closet sized dorm room. I kept seeing this gorgeous girl coming in and out, and one day decided to follow her upstairs. =) Well, sure enough, we had tons in common...several weeks later we were an "item," and having a great time!

So everything was hunky-dory until last December when she graduated. She had told me when we first met that she wanted to live in Germany, and she began to plan on doing just that. I was conflicted between my wanting to be supportive of her and my inner feelings of dread at being without her for an entire year. For Christmas, I got her all sorts of books and things that would help her find jobs in Germany...I felt like I was planning my own demise! I tried to keep my feelings of dread locked away inside, so as not to discourage her, but they came out one night anyway. I told her how worried I was, and how I felt terrified inside. She reassured me, told me how much she cared about me, and I felt better.

But then, of course, came the day I had to take her to the airport. I held her hand tightly the whole way there, I remember my hand was totally sweaty, I was definitely worried about her leaving. Everything seemed hazy at the airport, walking her to her terminal and having a "last meal" together. Then...the boarding announcement <sigh>. We walked to gate 62B and I got to hold her for a while. I tried to remember how good it felt to be hugging her, as I knew I would be missing it. I got to look her in the eyes, tell her I love her, and give her one last kiss before she turned and walked onto the jetway. I watched her go as long as I could...and then she was gone.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry right then and there. I definitely had a lump in my throat, for sure, but instead of crying I just felt hollow. The empty feeling you get when someone is gone. I had that feeling for about three days before she called me and told me she was okay. Then it subsided a bit.

So it's been several months now, and I only have 8 and a half more before she comes home!!! One thing I have noticed is that I have been far moodier than normal since she has been gone. Some days I'll be happy all day, and then suddenly sink into a deep depression, where all I can think about is how much I miss her. Other days I feel as though I am just "marking time," just getting each day over with as one day closer to her return date. Those days are the worst, I go to work but my heart just isn't in it.

But I have also learned a lot about myself as a result of this experience. I have learned what my strengths and weaknesses are, and I am in the process of learning how to keep myself busy so I am not focused on how much I miss my gorgeous girl.

And, most importantly, I have learned a lot about my relationship. I now know that the woman I've spent the better part of the past 4 years with is someone I truly care about, and somebody I cannot and do not want to live without. Now, whenever I get that rare phone call or e-mail, I make sure my sweetie knows how I feel about her. I've learned not to take anything for granted.

Wow, I didn't mean to turn this into an epic novel, I guess this topic really struck a nerve! You guys are the best...it really makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one going through such an event. These LDR's can be tough, can't they?

Take care everyone...thanks for letting me ramble on! If any of you feel like joining me in an "I-miss-my-long-distance-significant-other Cry-a-thon," ICQ me sometime.

--Danny

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Remember...absence makes the heart grow fungus.

ICQ# 3953848


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emsily0
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awww...being here makes me feel better cuz my relationship is hardly an LDR compared to most of you guys. i'm like the queen of schadenfreude. (ok, someone smack me)..

ben went back to school today, though. i miss him already. what's especially hard is that we started talking about what we're going to do next year when i'm at college, like if i go to school far away...what it comes down to is that i just don't know. i don't think either of us could deal with a fully open relationship, but at the same time i'm not sure a monogamous thing could work either. we're going to have to figure something out, and i just don't know what.

urg.

em

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Tout est au mieux dans la meilleure des mondes possibles

Everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
-Voltaire


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KittenGoddess
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<rant about people who don't belong in LDR's>

Ok, so here's the deal (not about my relationship), boy and girl are very much in love. Boy moves to a new city, then girl moves away to college. Relationship continues, boy (who has serious co-dependency issues) is constantly questioning whether girl is cheating on him, she constantly assures him that she's not doing that. Girl gets sexually assaulted at a party, boy about goes nuts. Everything looks like it's being figured out, then boy starts thinking that girl is cheating. Girl assures him that no, she's not doing that...decides to spend break with him. Boy decides that he is going to ask girl to marry him. Girl arrives and tells him right away that yeah, she's been cheating on him. Things get more and more messy. Finally it occurs to girl that maybe she shouldn't stay entire week. Girl leaves, boy is broken.

Ok, I think it's safe to say that this girl just had no business doing what she was doing. So, the moral of this story is...not everybody can handle LDR's, and if you can't handle it, don't do it. And if you do it and find out you can't handle it, don't lie about it!

</rant>

~KittenGoddess

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"Am I nervous? Am I scared? Is it worth it? Should I even care? ...Man I like this guy, I really like him alot!"
~Pam Tillis, 'Please'

~*~12 days till M-day~*~

[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 03-25-2001).]


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alaska
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Kitten - good to hear that she has left. IMHO, it was about time, really. Hope Boy settles down and manages to get over this.

Yes, yes yes, I'm in an LDR, too. Have been for more than a year. My partner lives in Melbourne, Australia, a meagre 16.409km away from where I currently reside.
It's not the first LDR I'm in (my ex partner lived 800km away, and I always thought that was far enough).

This relationship has been difficult, to say the least, but not all the probs we had were necessarily related to distance; however, small things can turn into big probs when you're in an LDR and I did my fair share to make things worse, sometimes.

We've managed to handle lots though, too - the money and phone bill issues and his car breaking down (and using up his travel fund completely); his psycho-Ex; several bouts of clinical depression; trouble with friends and parents; no phone contact for several weeks at a time (because he worked in the outback); all kinds of worries. Money will always play a large role in all this, simply because it's not exactly cheap to fly that far. Even when I relocate (which I am planning to do next year), it will remain a big issue - I need to pay for extra Uni and all; and how much I pay wwill depend on my visa, which will depend on loooots of things (marriage?).
I wouldn't be in this relationship if it wouldn't - above all - make me happy though; if I wouldn't love this person very very much; if I wouldn't know that this is wort it. In fact, this relationship construct is kinda nice for the two of, because we're both really busy finishing Uni (I'm in my last year of law school, and he is in his second but last year of Med school), and I'm not sure how good we would be this very moment at having normal daily life together. Even though a normal life is what I crave with him. Backrubs and doing nothing together and sleeping in on Sundays and all. When we are together, it can be kinda hard to have normalcy, because we want to fit as much into the short time we have together.
Anyway. I'm thankful that it's not as difficult to stay in touch as it would have been even 10 years ago - cheap calls and icq and eMail and a steady decline in plane tickets does help. Otherwise this wasn't possible.

Oh, the sweetness of LDR's.


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Poohbear785
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I'm in A LDR right now. He lives in Iowa, and I live in Alabama. I am 16 and he is 18. We have been going out for a year now (well in May we will be). I admit, that sometimes it is hard, but only because of the phone bills and the cost of phone cards. I am so in love with him, and he is truly the only person I have ever loved. I was first ashamed of it, because I met him over the net...and denied that he lived in another state. I told my friends he lived in another country, about a hour drive, which was a lie. I was afraid to tell them because I know they would get together and talk bad about it. Now, I'm not ashamed at all. I write his name all over my bookbag, tell everyone I meet about him, and I have his pictures on the outside of my clear view notebook(we write each other back in forth in the mail, too...thats how I got his pictures). Some of my friends though don't really accept it...one of my friends keeps asking me "How can you be in love with someone you have never met?". It really upsets me, because she has no right to say something like that if she has never experienced it. Everyone that sees his pictures says he is really cute and sometimes I think my friends gets jealous. LDR CAN WORK! With love, all things are possible and if anyone says you can not love someone without meeting them, than they are totally false. A good comparison I think has to do with God. We all love god, don't we...but we have never met him. Yet, we know who he is by his words. Got me?
http://www.angelfire.com/al3/xoxolovealwaysxoxo has a link to my "Zachary" page

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KittenGoddess
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Ya know Poohbear, alot of people I know were skeptical of me for a long time because I was in love with somebody I'd never met. So I know how you feel. And at times, it does feel a bit strange being so attached to someone you've never touched. You do have to be careful of people you meet over the net, but I believe that when you meet someone who you truly connect with, that you can fall in love with that person.

I'd met my boyfriend over the net, and I've known him for over a year now (we've been together for just over two months now). And we finally just really met a week ago. And let me just tell you, it was amazing. We got to know each other in the inside without anything physical to interfere. So when we finally met, everything just fell into place and it was perfect.

I think the hardest thing was letting him go after we'd spent time together. I had no idea it was going to be so difficult...

~KittenGoddess

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"What is the odds so long as the fire of soul is kindled..."
~Charles Dickens


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ThisGuy
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Long distance relationships can be hard. I should know.

I've spent the last 2.5 years dating a girl from another country. We're now engaged, and will be legally married in a week or two.

It wasn't easy. Can you imagine being parted from your fiance for 9 months, while some imbecile shuffles paper pointlessly?

I think the key with it is - within reason - to ignore all the naysayers (and there will be plenty!), and to be utterly honest. Spending a year blowing smoke up their rectum is going to be disastrous when you meet. (Duh!)

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Stuff© - try some today!.


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~*StarGazer*~
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Yes, a support group that has my entire life written inside!

I think I'm in an LDR. I'm not completely sure. Yes, sounds weird, but hey, I'm weird. Anyway. We haven't SAID we're together/boyfriend and girlfriend/whatever yet, but I do believe we are. We don't live TOO far away from each other, but it is hard. We met over the Internet. We were both going through a lot at the time and we soon became friends, there for each other all the time. Things got better in both our lives, but we still were there for each other. We finally admitted we loved each other.

I think it takes a lot of strength to stay in an LDR. It's been trying for both of us. Sometimes, at parties, I just want to be like all the other girls and flirt with every guy there, but then I think of him and the thought of other guys is meaningless. We have our hard moments, but I think we'll make it.

He's coming to visit me in a week. I'm more excited than I can even say.

I think the meeting is the best part of an LDR. Perhaps I am just lovestruck, but I think it is.

Thanks for this support group!

[This message has been edited by ~*StarGazer*~ (edited 04-14-2001).]


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Moth
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Oh, wow. I'm happy that this forum is here! Kittengoddess, Kimiko, and Poohbear: I'm so excited to meet others who met their partner over the net . . .

Anthony and I met over AOL message boards. Before too long, we started chatting over IM, and nine months later, we were going out. Almost exactly a year after that, during Christmas, we met. He stayed at my house for two weeks, and quite contrary to me not liking him as everyone had warned, we loved each other more. I'm flying out to where he lives over the summer (2,900 miles), and I can hardly wait. He's my best friend, really; not to slight any of my girlfriends, but there's something very special there.

I'm so happy to hear from other people that, yes, a LDR CAN work. Even after more than a year, I still sometimes need that affirmation.

-Moth


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LilBlueSmurf
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I don't think you could call what i'm in a LDR ... We're about 35km apart, i think, or 30mins driving. However, neither of us have a car (or a license to drive a car) so it seems like further.

I met one of my ex's online. We talked for about 6 months before we decided to meet. We lived in the same city at the time, so it worked out pretty well. Right now we're both going through some tough times, and it's been rough, but we hung on to our friendship in the end. I started talking to my current bf online before i met him ... and he told me after we got together that he loved me before we met. All together now ... Awww ... LOL

Moth ~ I like this board too It's my personal fave and that's why i love moderating it ... whoopie


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Rizzo
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I've had a couple of flings on the net, but they didn't work out too well.

My current relationship started out "normal" then became an LDR when my boyfriend went off to university. Now we're in the same city again, and living together. Which I'm so grateful for! It was really taxing, all those heartbreaking goodbyes. (The exhilarating hellos were nice, though!)

So anyway. There is hope. I think.


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daisygirl
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i'm really really so glad that there is this thread... sometimes i'm just not sure if i can handle the long distance. i met my boyfriend last summer... because we worked at the same place. he lives 8 hours away (which i know isn't far at all... but we're both pretty much broke, even though i do have a job... and just other stuff) anyway, i love him and he loves me. and things are really great. sometimes, i just miss him so much, though. and sometimes i wonder if all the work we put into it is all for nothing because with the way its looking now... we're never going to get to be together for more than a couple of days. we both want way different things out of life (like career wise) that could put us far away from each other constantly. so its hard a lot... but when we talk on the phone or something and he just says he loves me... its great. i feel like crying sometimes because we are so in love and its great... so happy tears. other times, i worry constantly about how things are going to turn out. i don't know. i hope that we can be together for as long as we can... these past 7 months have been so happy for me and i never thought i'd feel like this for anyone (i used to be quite cynical about relationships and love).
wow... this thread is really great... finally people who understand what i'm going through... all my friends are just like, why don't you date someone closer... or just date around and have your boyfriend... but i can't do that. i'd be going against what i feel... and that's not fair to my boyfriend or to any of the guys i'd go out with. i just want one person, and that's my boyfriend

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i'm gonna clear my head, i'm gonna drink that sun. i'm gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young.
--indigo girls


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astrogirl
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my boyfriend lives about an hour away from my school...its hard, even though we aren't that far away. i get to see him on weekends. the most important thing is to talk, talk, talk. it doesn't matter how you do, just keep in contact. and its been my experience that little things can mean so much...a card in the middle of the week, an unexpected phone call, a rose...anything that says "i care".
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StarlitNight007
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I am about to enter into a LDR, I'm in PA, and my boyfriend of 13 months is about to go to the air force academy in colorado. i'm getting very scared for him to leave...and i dont know how to handle it...can anyone give me some advice?
Posts: 59 | From: Mountaintop | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
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Hm. Advice about how to deal with leaving?

Feel what you're going to feel. Don't act like you have to "be brave until he leaves" or that you should cry if you don't feel like crying -- just feel what you feel when you feel it.

And remind yourself that it's not the end fo the world, that you will see them, and while missing someone hurts, it won't kill you.

Do things for yourself and have a good and happy life during the times when you're not together, so that a) time passes faster, b) you have lots of stuff to talk about, c) you don't feel like your whole life revolves around missing him.

All that stuff has helped me.

erin


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rambler
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Well, I finally got through all of this thread and am going to offer my input.

My boyfriend and I met 7.5 years ago (EEK) as you may know if you're reading some of the other threads (I posted the how-we-got-together story already so I'll not talk about that here.) Anyway, of course, we began as friends and basically he is my best friend and vice versa. It took a long time to admit there was actual romantic love there just because of the brother-sister relationship we shared, and because we both knew how this would ultimately change our relationship and make it harder to be apart. After 5 years, though, we admitted it, and we immediately made plans to meet. Before this, it was hard, just being someone's best friend and not being able to even give him a hug, but the whole thing totally escelated and became almost unbearable when we finally decided that we were in love. I became really frantic to make plans to go see him and my mother was completely against it and made me crazy telling me that she had this and this problem with it and wouldn't let me go. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life, just trying to arrange that first meeting. And it was pretty crazy to get on a plane and stay with some guy for 9 days...I'll admit that. But obviously we knew each other incredibly well and there were no surprises. I was nervous as hell right up until getting off of the plane, to the point where my dad (who was behind us 100% and the voice of reason who ended up making the trip possible) asked me if I was excited as we were sitting waiting for the boarding call and I was just kind of speechless. I mean, I was...totally... but it was all really nerve-wracking. Anyway, as soon as I got off of the plane, all of my nervousness was just gone. We just kind of fell into a routine right there. It was so great. I knew that everything was going to be absolutely fine and I had no worries.

The following October he visited me at college and I visited him over my spring break and he came back with me for his. The following summer I came to stay with him for 2.5 months and work here, and I came back in January to take some classes at his college and work. In August, he and I will be going back to NY (He lives in Georgia right now, as his stepfather was transferred down here through the Navy) and going to nearby colleges. It will still sort of be long-distance, only seeing one another on weekends, but it is so much better than the 6 years we spent apart and the angstful money-counting and plane-trip stuff... IMO it has worked, and it's really beautiful right now to be able to wake up next to him, to officially go on "dates" with him (even though in the long run they're so unnecessary obviously...but it's fun...) and such. Going back to separate colleges will be tough, though, and I don't imagine the phone bills will be much better than they were before, but we'll see.

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rambler
Visit disabledsex.org -- Disability and Sexuality.
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Country Girl
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I don't know what constitutes a "long distance relationship" but I sure feel like mine is. I have been in this relationship for over a year now and we have always lived over an hour from each other (he's moved twice since he's been in this state). It has been REALLY tough. I don't know what it is like to see a person on a day-to-day basis... when you don't have to plan your days together to fit stuff in... you can just be together. I don't know how to explain it. I am amazed how, even after almost 15 months, it STILL doesn't get any easier. I still miss him something awful during the weeks. I thought that it would get easier but the more I love him, the more I miss him. We only see each other on weekends due to college (he's going back to college...he graduated from U of IL a while ago and is going back for a different degree...I am at a primarily online college and am living at home *groans*) and the distance. I have a car but am sharing it with my sis which makes it even HARDER.

Throughout the long-distance phone calls, emails, and letters, though, I have felt that if you WANT it to work, it WILL. LDR's take considerably more work because of the added factor of distance and are probably a little more straining on the emotions but they ARE doable. I know that *I* will never regret a minute.

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"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

Care to read my thoughts?


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Bubble
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Hya!!

I know you posted this a while ago but im new here and thought that i wud share my story with you!

I have been in a LDR for nearly 4 months and it is the hardest thing i have ever had to do! I met my man online and we cud only wait 3 weeks untill we arranged to meet!

He lives about 6 hour drive away from me and although i realise this is not as far as a lot of people, it is still very hard!

We have learnt to make the best of every moment that we have together and when we are apart we both just concentrate on work and stuff and especially talk a lot about next time we will see each other!

I last saw him the day before yesterday and it kills me to say goodbye to him everytime! I feel so empty and lonley when he is not here with me!

I know its hard but i also know that he is worth all of it! It may not be perfect but we both know how lucky we are to have each other so the distance is just something we have to cope with! I have my bad days and stuff and times when i cud really do with his support but we make the most of running up huge mobile bills!!

Take care and dont give up!
xxxxxxxx

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*Bubble (18)*


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donutduchess
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OK guys! just wanted to say this is an awesome site!!!!!!! I really depend on it for some help/advice!

Ok, well my relationship started out about a month ago. We went to prom together, and everything, after that he FINALLY asked me otu!! We really like each other. We see each other almost everyday! Were super close.

I am going off to college in 5 wks. I am scared. I dont wanna loose him. I really think I will. I dunno maybe thats me just being negative. We never fight, or anything, I consider it to be an almost perfect relationship. My school is about an hr away. Not to bad. I am just really scared of the transition from having a normal relationship to a ldr. Eek!

Any help/advie will be great. Maybe I need a boost of confidence or something but I dunno!

Thanks again!


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AngelElisheva
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Yeah, so I always laughed at the girls who were all "Oh, I miss him so much, I can't live without him..." Now I guess I have to laugh at myself. It's a strange feeling. See, here's how it goes:

As some of you know, I was away at the Penn State Music Camp last week. It was the most incredible time of my life, with some of the best musicians in the tri-state area, and the most amazing people I've ever met, but that's all for a different story. On Wednesday, I met a guy named Seth, and, to make a long, complicated story relatively short, we got to know each other, totally fell for each other, and then kissed on Friday. It was my first kiss that had ever really mattered to me; I'd kissed guys before, but mostly just out of politeness. I should insert here that the camp ended on Saturday, and he lives about two or 2 1/2 hours away. I'm pretty optimistic about the whole thing, because his granparents live about 15 minutes away from me, but he's at the beach with his dad now, and I haven't heard from him cause he's not online and I don't know when he's getting back...*sigh* This is all terribly new to me, so I'm just going to do my best to keep in touch and all that, but wow, I've never met a person like him before, and I really don't want to lose what we've got. Yeah, so now I'm worried about all the people he's gonna meet at the beach and all that...*sigh* I'm gonna go write him an email.

Thank you for listening to my rambling, I needed to get that off my shoulders.

~Angel~

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Nobody knows what you know, nobody's seen what you've seen, nobody's lived what you've lived...so why let them judge you?
~Personal Quote~

You know, Hobbes, sometimes I think the surest sign of intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
~Calvin~

IM: AngelElisheva (Oh, I'm so creative, aren't I *grin*)


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ningrrl
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My boyfriend is moving after this school year, and I still have one year to go. I'm terrified. At first, he said he'd stay here with me (in Ohio) and when I graduated, we'd both move down to North Carolina with his family. Now, he says he doesn't know how he would support himself. And I know he'd miss his family. I do want to move down to North Carolina with him, but I kinda don't want to leave my family, but in a way, I feel I should so I can get on with my life with him, you know? And we've been having problems lately, about not being sure and stuff. We have some stuff to work out, but hopefully it will all work out for the best!

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I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering; fundamental differing.


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LilBlueSmurf
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Wow ningirl, i was surpised to see this post from you! I haven't seen your name pop up in quite a while ... nice to see you back.

Anyway ... things have a way of working themselves out. It's important to keep the 'lines of communication' open, as honesty is really the best policy

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I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
~ Anonymous

In a Smurf's world ...


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ningrrl
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Hey Lil, nice to be back! I haven't been to the boards for a while. It surprised me that you noticed, hehehe. Makes me feel special.

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I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering; fundamental differing.


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LilBlueSmurf
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Well ... Support Groups really is one of the lonlier boards here at scarleteen, and i know you give really great advice, so i just remembered your name for some reason. And hey, of course you're special

(We'll carry this convo on in village people or somewhere else, k? As other advo's like myself start to get cranky when threads are used for presonal convos. Whoops)

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I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
~ Anonymous

In a Smurf's world ...


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XoXoGrl8
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I am in a LDR. Well, if thats what you consider it. I'm 13, don't drive and both parents work. My boyfriend lives about an hour away and I get to see him once a month possibly more. Its hard because everyone around me says its stupid I'm still going out with him. But they don't understand the love we have for each other--nobody does. Sure I'm 13, but already I've experienced something so great that I've been with him for 7 months already.

It gets hard. Especially with the trust issue. But we work through the problems and in the end we love each other even more. I've cried, he's stressed, and we've even taken 1-day breaks to think about things. In the end we stay together and its wonderful.

Next year, I'm going to an all-girls school and he is going to an all-boys school. They are close and we have dances together. We get to see each other more often which is great news. I look forward to being with him for a long time--I have plenty of years left to have "fun" when we split (thats if we do)!!!

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-Ashli-

A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love, a hug is just a hug until you find the one you are thinking of, a dream is just a dream until you make it come true, love is just a word until it is proven to you


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KittenGoddess
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*sniffle sniffle* My boy just left and I need to whine.

*sigh* Ya know, for some reason I thought that the leaving would get easier as we went along. Thus far it's just gotten more difficult each time. I mean, I know he had to go home, and I understand that. But at the same time, it's impossible not to be sad about it.

~KittenGoddess

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"Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems"

"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together!"


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Country Girl
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Kitten ~ I know EXACTLY what you mean as I have felt the same way. The funny thing is that I remember thinking in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend that it would get easier as time went on.... In reality, as time goes on, you get more and more attached and it only gets harder! I spent the summer two states away from him (by choice to get away from home and the fam. for a while) working in Maine. He fully supported the decision but MAN, was it HARD!!! I hated not seeing him every weekend. I saw him maybe a total of a week and a half over the summer. OUCH! It was incredibly lonely. All I could think about was all the fun things I wanted to show him about the area when he came to visit. Seeing him when he came to visit, after almost three weeks without him, was like a breath of fresh air. And then he had to leave... It was incredibly sad. Now, though, I have my own apartment and he is but 25 minutes away so it is MUCH easier for us to be together. Heck, a 25 minute drive is heaven compared to 7!! We spend more time together PLUS it is a lot more quality time. I'm as happy as a clam... if clams are happy, that is.

Anyhow, Kitten... I digress... what I wanted to say somewhere in there is that I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from and I sympathize. I think what helped me the most was that I was working 40+ hours a week and so didn't have a lot of "down time" to sit around and sulk. Which I would have done if I wasn't incredibly busy ...lol... Somehow, it always works out for the best. Take care!!

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"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

Care to read my thoughts?


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