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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I'm Having a Wonderful Night, How About You?

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Author Topic: I'm Having a Wonderful Night, How About You?
Member # 2709

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Oh my.. tonight has been one of the most interesting and sad nights I have had in a long time. And so now I'm curled up listening to Sting (who, by the way, is absolutely awesome) and contemplating everything that's happened. I'm just so damn shocked. The story goes as this:
Last night, I told my boyfriend I didn't feel ready to have sex. That I felt that at 15, I was too young and didn't want to try to grow up too fast. That there were too many issues that I had to deal with by myself, and I couldn't have sex with him and get him involved in my internal matters. A large fight ensued, and he questioned my loving him. What a typical line. And he called me tonight, said that I disappoint him (of course though, it's not just about sex :::said with dripping sarcasm:: , and that he can't deal with it anymore and is not sure if he wants to.
I can't believe that my best friend would leave me for my beliefs. Oh god, he said he'd always be there. And now.. I feel like I've just been toyed with for the past 10 months of my life. What a joke. A cruel, cruel joke.
And so tonight I think I lost a little bit of innocence. And I lost a little bit of hope. And one of the most (or so I thought) amazing people I've ever met.
I just can't believe that a person could abandon another so suddenly. And for such a reason. Anyone else feeling the hurt? I thought I was doing the right thing, standing up for myself.. and all it's brought me is this horrible pain. I think it's a lesson I have learned far too young.

"Those who don't got it, can't show it. And those who got it, can't hide it."

Posts: 121 | From: Some random suburb.. | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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*Big Hugs*

Chin up babycakes, i think you did the right thing.

Think about it ... which is worse ... losing your boyfriend or losing your self respect? He's forcing you to choose b/w him and your personal beliefs and that's just not right. It's your body ... Those parts are attatched to you (NOT him!), so it's your decision.

Maybe you lost a little innocence ... and naivity (i don't even think that's a word!!). Now you know that people aren't always as they seem. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Don't put all your eggs in one basket ... Wow, i'm just full of metaphors tonite

A lesson's a lesson. You have to learn it at some point or another ... and now you know it ahead of everyone else You should always stand up for what you believe in. It might not give what you're looking for, but you'll know that you tried your best.

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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well, the important thing is you didn't compromise what you felt was right. he needs to grow up and understand and respect that.

keep your chin up. sting is great (i've seen him twice on his Brand New Day Tour), esp when you're feelin' down. may I recommend "Fortress Around Your Heart"

This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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*big hugs* hon. You totally deserve them.

I think you have just found out what your bf really wanted from your relationship and honestly, he isn't worth all your pain. You will find someone who can respect you and love you.

And if it makes you feel better, you did do the right thing but we don't always get rewarded for doing something we believe in. Or at least not immediately. A few years down the road, you will realise how right your decision was. *more hugs*

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2769

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Hey, sweety . I'm sorry your boyfriend did that to you, but I want to congradulate you for standing up for what you believe is right!!!!!!!!! That's awesome. A lot of people don't have the courage that you do, and I really look up to you for what you did. You should always stand up for what you believe is right. And as Lin said, you'll realize that you made the right decision later on. Imagine yourself with a handsome man (or woman, whatever your fancy) that you love. You've found your soulmate, and you're ready to give yourself to this person. And you can fully give him/her all of you. And you'll be ready and will be able to enjoy your wondeful experience. Take care of yourself, hon. **hugs**

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, because then you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes!

Posts: 500 | From: Ohio, U.S.A. | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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You've just earned yourself a Gold Star of Assertiveness and Self Respect, and you should bear it with pride. And you've onlyu weeded out someone I'm sure would have be a problem later on. I'm sorry you feel you've lost so much, but truly, we respect what you did, does that count for something?
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
momma cat
Member # 363

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You know what? What's said is said and what you do or don't do won't change the past. What that means is if he's lost your trust, then you can stay with him and be hurt and confused, or leave and find new people, be happier, but still confused.

I can't believe my relationship with Greg crashed and burned. He was the best friend I ever had, no one has ever been such a perfect other half to me. It went from unbelievably good to as bad as anything can be that doesn't physically hurt me...directly. I lost more than a few pounds which isn't healthy for me.

I'm still bewildered by all that happened, but leaving has been for the best. And what's really cool is my friends and my friend's parents are proud of me for it! Ya know, the world might not seem all fixed and perfect overnight, but it can get there in time. Boy I need to make a long post about this some day.

Posts: 155 | From: WA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2101

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*hugs* Keep your head up girl.

I have such a great respect for you. It takes guts for what you did and in my book you get an A+++++! If he can't respect your feelings he's not worth it. It only makes him a jerk.

Relationships like that only make you smarter and stonger. Like my daddy says, "Don't hang low, guy like that make you grow!" (he's such a dork! ) You'll know what to look for next time. *hugs*

To be a princess is to be an actress, but not necessarily a good one.
Don't dream your life, live your dream

Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 968

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At least it was 10 months, and not 11. Or 12. Or more.

To be honest, some guys find it hard to think without using their penises. You just need to learn how to weed those ones out.

Cranial space for rent.

Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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