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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Decisions are tough ...

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Author Topic: Decisions are tough ...
Scarleteen Volunteer
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... but we've got to make them. You decided to get out of bed this morning and maybe you decided what kind of cereal you wanted to eat. We're going to have to decide on career choices (some of us) pretty soon and make a decision on whether or not we want a partner in life and who that person will be.

Decision making is a part of growing up. It's hard, and sometimes we make bad decisions but we also learn to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and learn from our mistakes.

What was your hardest decision you've ever had to make in your life? Why? How did it change your life? Do you regret it?

So far (in all my 16 years hehe), my hardest decision was moving from my mom's house and into my dads. I know live 2.5 hours apart from my mom and sister, who i've lived with since i was born. It took me a month to make a decision that could change everything ... and did. My relationships with my family members has gotten stronger because of it. I was falling apart, and taking everyone with me, the way things were.

Now ... it's your turn to share

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Actually (since I'm only 14), the hardest decision I've had to make would be when I chose to stop being friends with my best friend. We had been friends since kindergarten, but for awhile now she has been acting snobby and being really mean and rude to everyone she meets. She started ignoring me and her other "old" friends and treated us like we're lower than her. I was sick of being treated like that and I was sick of her treating other people badly. It was like she turned into a totally different person. Apparently, she had given up on the friendship a long time ago, so I just stopped trying to get her back. Plus, I didn't really have the urge to hang around someone who always put people down and only talked about how hot she was. So, I still talk to her once in awhile. I honestly don't consider her a friend anymore though. It was hard, but I just couldn't be around her anymore.

Come check out what's goin on in Lucky's mind!
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today."

Posts: 492 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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The hardest decision I've ever made was to stop cutting. I've made it twice officially before (cuz y'know, everytime after I cut I say I'll never do it again). Since I said that I'm stopping for the last time I've slipped up three times. One was bad, the other two were just scratches. But I can't be so hard on myself because that's what got me into this biz in the first place. It's hard and I'll just sit and cry and stare at my walls knowing that I have a blade not 10 feet away. It's hard...but I work on it and that's what counts...

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This person is a natural product. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2771

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Well I'm 17 and I must honestly say that I haven't had to make too many big decisions... I'd say the biggest was what color I wanted my wheelchair to be. You have to pick something that will go with every outfit you own... its not like shoes where certain ones don't go with certain shirts... Sorry if this doesn't sound to serious but like I said I haven't had too many huge decisions.
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The decision to keep my baby. I weighed every possible option, gave it months of thought, had so many doubts. I don't regret the decision, however, it does kind of hurt sometimes to think of how much simpler my life would be without him and everything like that. But I love him dearly, and I know the life we'll have together will be better than the life I would have had without him.

I have a hideous, hideous secret...
you see, when the full moon shines, I undergo terrifying changes... My skin gets hard and stiff... shingles grow on top of my head... I turn into... a house.

That's right... I'm a werehouse.

Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 631

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I'm 17 and I thought about it a bit before answering to this one.

The hardest one was probably... well I don't really know, but I think it was to go to college.

I mean, it's not about the education part, it's because of not having my friends besides me. I mean, it took me 5 years to find the best friends I ever had and now to now have them there besides me just feels weird. I got used to it but when I saw my best girl friend after 6 months, it was so special. We were nearly in tears after not seeing each other for so long. It's not really a "hard" decision but it's quite difficult to get apart from people we love.


- I hope I shall be able to confide in you conpletely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.

Anne Frank to her journal

Posts: 201 | From: Montreal, Qc, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1071

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I exaggerate everything that happens to me, so basically all my decisions are monumental. I'm also incredibly indecisive.

I can't remember any real tough decisions I've made. My most recent one was wether to play LaCrosse for the school or to be a lifeguard. Originally, it was a guard. But then my Dad wanted me to do LaCrosse, and I was torn up. Then, I got sick so I couldn't swim. I decided to do LaCrosse. Then!! I got better one week before the lifeguard training course began. I was torn up again.

But, my Dad said he wanted me to be happy more than him. So now, I'm studying guarding. I get a job in April !

Bad Cats!!

Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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biggest decision? picking a college. but i picked a goody and i'm happy. and picking a major. should i stick with bio even though i'm getting me butt kicked? or take something a li'l easier for the higher GPA. Not much of a decision, I'm doing both.

This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

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To remain in an abusive relationship and try to work my way out of this dark hole.

Maybe remain is not the right word but to stay in a relationship knowing that it could turn abusive again.

It hasn't been easy and it still isn't. Sometimes I feel stupid and weak for staying and sometimes I think his life would have been so much better without me.

It's difficult climbing out of that hole. Just like what you said smurfie. Three steps forward, one step back.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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In all my 16 years I would say my toughest decision was staying with my current boyfriend. Since we live far away its hard, but dont listen to people who says it cant work it can!!! hehe
Posts: 58 | From: Massachusetts, U.S.A. | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Firstly, to move out with my mum, and now, to move in with my partner. We've got less than a month to go, a rather nice apartment rented (new appliances! *swoon*), and just got back from Ikea with lots of goodies, and a cute corner computer table with a stupid Sweidish-sounding name. We've also got a house to clean by tomorrow night (people are going to be viewing it), lots of stuff to pack, and some concerns about how to move it all -- and set up our little computer network once we get there But we do have friends willing to work for pizza and burned CD's, and I'm grateful. I'm also in a relationship where I feel safe, and quite certain I'm doing the best thing, which is really comforting. Still, bloody nervous. I'll tell you how it goes once it's happened.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Well, I know this is going to sound raw, but the biggest decision I've ever made was to keep on living or not. I went through clinical depression, and I almost killed myself. I thought about it for hours on end... I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. I thought the best thing to do was to write everyone I love a letter and then take some pills and have it be over with. Fortunately, I ended up living (I don't know if I decided to live or if it was just the animal instinct to survive). I'm doing ok now, and I'm living life up I'm in therapy, and I'm taking medication for my depression. I'm very happy that I'm alive now, and I hope to grow to be 100, have kids, and a partner

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, because then you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes!

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Lady Moonlight
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I'm so proud of everybody.

Decisions ARE tough, like the heading says, and to make ones like those y'all have talked about just impresses me. There's a lot of talk about how nobody takes responsibility for their own actions any more, but this thread is evidence that that's not true for everybody.

As for me, well I'm a little older than some here, and the hardest decision I ever made was to get a divorce. Even though I knew that staying married was tearing me apart emotionally to the point where it was affecting my health, and that I would never be happy with my husband, I still really believed (and still do) that marriage was for life and I'd made promises before God and all my friends and family (we were married in a big church wedding). But there was too much hurt and no fixing things, so I rented my own place and moved out. Toughest (and best) decision I ever made.

And I've got no illusions about you.
Guess what? I never did.
When I said, when I said, "I'll take it."
I meant, I meant As Is.
--Ani DiFranco, "As Is"

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I'm a little like Mary - my biggest decision was to *not* drive that car into a concrete wall but to get help for my clinical depression in stead. One year down the road, I hardly recognize that depressed self anymore, really. I'm happy I'm still here and know that I can handle thst sort of thing.
Apart from that, big decisions in my life were moving out, choosing a Uni (far far away) and a major. And starting and keeping this full blown long-distance relationship.

And yes, I'm proud of everyone here, too.

"I am capable of, but sometimes not interested in making myself happy."

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I would also have to be along the same lines as Mary. The biggest decision for me will ALWAYS be to live or not. I have the oppertunity to live or die everyday of my life. It'll always be there. When I'm feeling good, I want to live. When I'm feeling down, I think I'd rather die. But so far, I've decided to stick with being down and get to he good days. I can always change that, but so far I just don't want to. I'd like to stay that way. I don't know if that makes any sense or not because it's a little hard to express in words.

To live or to die?

"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."
--Carrie Snow

"A mistake is simply another way of doing things."
--Katharine Graham

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The hardest decision that I've had to make came this past semester at college. I am a sophomore and was always very gung-ho about my school of choice. Then I had a major fiasco with my schedule and ended up in a writing class where my professor thought I was a complete dunce (I entertained the notion of being a writer up until and throughout this class, but this woman has taught me that it's not worth the anxiety, at least not as a life goal, not right now...), and I was in classes that were just sapping the life out of me. I could have been fine, but then my best friend at school was involved in a sexual assault situation, and no, it's not me, but it really messed up what I was thinking about my college and made me feel extremely unsafe especially because the man in question worked with me. It was just a really horrible thing and I basically stopped being able to get anything done, my papers were worse than things I'd turned in in high school, and I hated every minute.

I wanted to handle the situation on my own because I knew my mom would flip out if she knew there were these kinds of things going on in my life, so I just told her I was burned out, etc, and I figured out that if I moved in with my SO I could have my old job back (summer job) out here, but that left the problem of health insurance, which I'd lose if I left school. And my mother of course decided immediately that I just wanted to get laid a lot (in fact, this entire conversation spurred her to ask me for the first time if I was having sex...) and she threatened me a lot. Finally, I decided that I'd take classes while down here at a community college, which was also seemingly a waste to her because I already GO to a 4-year college, but she's okay with it because I'll have almost all or all of the credit I need to still be a junior next year.

Then of course that left the problem of whether or not my SO and I would be okay living together... well so far we are, but I was fed a lot of doubt about that, too. So far since coming down here I have almost all As, I have more time to relax, I've started a lot of projects to keep me busy, and I'm getting work experience. Plus, my SO has been here to deal with a lot of medical and other issues which I would have put on hold completely if it meant I had to tell my mother and go see a family doc who'd tell her if I didn't...and lots of similar things have cropped up.

Talking to basically everyone who originally opposed me...they've basically all told me that I made the right decision for me and that I knew what I needed. This has been really good for me because it will make me more sure of future decisions and less likely to back down from doing what I need to do for myself despite what people say. And hey, I'm having fun!


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Hey Milke, congrats on moving in with your boyfriend... it's fun

I don't know what my toughest decison has been. The decision to move in with my love was pretty easy (though asking my parents about it wasn't!)

I'm pretty indecisive too, so right now I'm having a hard time deciding what to major in. I have to decide pretty soon..... I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it will get me anywhere in life :P

Yeah, basically all that early university stuff (where to go, what to's so overwhelming!) can be tough.

Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3052

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The hardest decision, was my decision to stay away from drugs. It seems as if sooo many of my friends smoke pot! Ive been invited to do it sooo many times, and Im really proud because even when I felt like sh_t, I still said no...

Shine, make em wonder whatcha got!-Newsboys

Posts: 66 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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