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I am having a struggle getting over my mom's death. I am 13 now and she died when I was 8.It scares me to think my 4 year old brother will never remember her voice,her perfume, or anything like that.I guess I just want to know there are other people out there like me. I have a stepmom but she cannot take my mom's place in my life. Is anyone else my age or lost their mom at a young age willing to talk? I really need a boost.
Posts: 12 | From: sc,usa | Registered: Feb 2001
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Lola, I myself cannot exactly identify with your situation...but a close friend of mine lost her mother when she was 4. She also has a stepmother now, and is pretty open about talking about it. If there's something particular you'd like to ask, I can relay it to her.
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My friend lost her mum when she was 13. At the point of her life when most girls were sitting down with their mums. Gossipping, talking about the birds and bess. She had no one.
It is hard sweetie and I cannot say I understand because I probably never will.
What I suggest is that you talk to your brother about your mum. Bring in all photo albums and even her perfume and show them to him. Talk to him.
Chances are he won't forget her but because she died when he was so young, his memories won't be as vivid as yours. So have regular sisterly chats with him.
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I'm sorry to hear about your mother, Lola. My situation is similar, though far from identical. I effectively lost my mother when I was 13; she was in a car accident that injured her badly and had to go the hospital for 10 or so months to recover. She's not dead (yet anyway; I've heard that she's living on borrowed time), but she may as well be, considering that her accident was essentially the end of my relationship with her (and she's changed in a way that really makes a relationship impossible). Losing her made me stronger and more mature, but sometimes I still wish I had a mother who could act like a mother to me. If you want to talk, you can email me at lynne42@bigfoot.com.
Posts: 266 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jul 2000
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I haven't had an experience like that either... But one of my really good friends lost his Dad when he was 11... He never told anyone how sick his Dad was, and afterwards he pretended to be happy... Now, he talks about his Dad sometimes... Him and his Mom are still a great family!
------------------ Shine, make em wonder whatcha got!-Newsboys (((Kristine)))
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Hey, Lola. I don't know what you're going through, but my mom's mom (my grandma) died when my mom was 16. My mom really doesn't talk about her... I think it's still a very sensative subject for her. If you want to keep your mom's spirit alive, I would talk about her with your brother. Did she wear a certain perfume that you can remember? Maybe you could assemble a box of all your memories with her. In my experience, I've found that it's better to feel things to their fullest instead of holding everything in.
I'm so sorry that your mom passed away *hugs*. But I hope that your brother, dad, step-mom, and you can have a good family relationship . Take care of yourself... I'll be thinking about you, and I hope you find someone with a similar experience to realte with and talk with.
------------------ Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, because then you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes!
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