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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » death- am i stupid to feel this way?

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Author Topic: death- am i stupid to feel this way?
Member # 2190

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nookiebabe16     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Recently we found out my precious little Maltese dog has cancer. I was devastated when I found out because Ive had that dog for 10 years..more than half of my life. See..she was given to me by my mom and dad after they got divorced so she always has served as my little love token from my dad you know? And we found out she has a tumor that was in her throat and it spread to her brian and lungs so its only a matter of time.But I really dont think I will be able to deal with this. I was raised by my grandfather and he passed away right before Christmas and ever since then i have been really sad. Im so afraid of death. I guess I used to always deny that death existed. I mean it happened but never to me and I dont know how to cope. Im so scared of dying myself. Leaving everyone else behind. Leaving my boyfriend and my family and my friends..i want to live forever and keep having fun you know? I dont want to get old. Sometimes I just want to cry about this. I know this isnt probably normal but I just want to know what I can do to make myself feel better. Im only 16 so i probably wont die anytime soon but im so scared. Thanks for anything anyone says
Posts: 58 | From: Massachusetts, U.S.A. | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1194

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I'm so sorry to hear about your dog One thing to know is that this is a very normal and common fear. It's also a fear that you really can't be in denial about. All creatures live and all creatures die, and it hurts to know that everyone in your life won't be with you at a point...but there are also ways to move on and remember people in a good way. Concentrate on what makes you happy now, don't worry so much about that... for you, I'd say to live in the present and just enjoy what you've got. Live your life to the fullest and you'll be too happy enjoying the good stuff to think about it ending're not strange at all for fearing this. I think almost every person has been at one point in their life.

"it's like being hit in the head repeatedly with a sock full of quarter's" ~~Daria~~

Posts: 543 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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I am so sorry about your dog. ;[

It's definitely normal both to fear death, and to feel awful about your dog's illness. She obviously means a lot to you, and she's been with you a long time. I hope that the two of you can spend her last time together, enjoying each other.

Oh, you've made me so sad!

I'm sorry about your sweetheart, and if anyone tells you that "she's just a dog," they haven't been lucky enough to have that kind of love in their lives.

Best wishes to both of you. No pain.

~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

want to know the inner lemming? read her diary at
"Is love like the sweet, bitter taste of marmalade on burnt toast?"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1071

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I'm sorry. I've had a dog all my life, and when our last dog died, I was devastated.

I took a break from everything for a few days, which helped. But if you isolate yourself from your friends for too long, you could get seriously depressed. As soon as I felt I could talk to someone without breaking down, I talked to anyone who would listen, and it felt great. Things just got better from there.

I could tell, about a month before he actually died, that our dog was going to soon. Just knowing that something is going to die soon is horrible, isn't it? I spent as much time with my dog after that, taking him for walks and playing. I'm really glad I did.

So, we can't ever avoid death, but we can make it easier. Just try to stay with your dog, and reassure him (you never know, he might need it) that you love him. And talk to people whenever you can.

Good Luck Honey!

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure!! With protection, of course.

Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2109

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There isn't a "normal" way to deal with death. She means a lot to you, and obviously it's going to be hard for you to deal with it. I just want to tell you how sorry I am that this has to happen to you and your poor dog. Just remember that she'll be out of any pain that she's in. She's still alive and enjoy the days you have left.

*I wish I didn't care, but I do*

Posts: 62 | From: Los Angeles, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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Honey I am incredibly sorry about your dog. I had a dog die about 4 mths ago. He was barely one a a half years old. And I was absolutely devastated when it died.

Many people are scared of death. It is totally normal. Especially since you are so young and you have your whole life in front of you.

I used to be afraid of death. What if I died before I got married, had kids, had a career etc. But now, death brings no fear to me.

I feel that death is as natural as birth. It has to happen at some point or the other. And by living your life as though you were going to die tomorrow, you get a whole lot more accomplished and you treasure each day as if it were your last. Corny I know but I believe in it. And to me, it's like I'm facing death everyday so really, it has not become anything to fear. But that's just me and my warped logic.

Just live each day happily and true to yourself hon. That's what's important.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1168

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We got our dog when I was 2 1/2 so I can't really remember life without him but about 2 years ago, actually, it must be 3 years now, he was getting slow and he had horrible arthritis. You could tell he wasn't enjoying life anymore and was just tired and in pain all the time. We found out that he had cancer so we made the difficult decision to put him to sleep. The day before it happened I was a mess, in fact I'm tearing up writing about it. I spent the day just hanging out with him. Stroking him, talking to him, etc. Then my parents and I took him to the vets. I've had cats die before but I never felt brave enough to be with them when they died. I'm really glad I went with him to the vets because it was really peaceful. He lay down on the table and we were all around him and he just went to sleep. It was the most peaceful sleep he'd had in over a year. All the pain and worry soothed out of his face. It was wonderful and so sad all at once. He really was out of pain and that made me happy, but I really missed him.

I think what I'm trying to say is that while you'll always remember your dog, you will be able to live without her. I think part of the fear you have right now is probably that your grandfather died so recently, so there's been an aweful lot of death around you lately. You will be able to deal with it, but of courrse you are sad. Maybe writing in a journal or talking to someone would help slightly. I'm sending you warm wishes.

Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2482

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I'm sorry about u'r dog. We had to put my dog down last week. She was 16, and my parents have had her since before I was born. (I'm 14) She was such an awsome dog, really protective of my sister and I, butt always nice and never mean. I know how u feel about being scared of death too. My grandfather has had some really bad accidents the past 3 years. He had a stroke, and then fell about a year after the stroke. When he fell he bruised and fractured some ribs. My family lives with my grandparents now beacuse of all of this. My grandparenst have also signed the house over to my parents. As u can prolly tell, this means they don't want to have any unfinished business when they die. My granparents have been here for me through everything, and they practilly raised my older cousin and i. I don't know wut I'll do without them. Its so hard to imagine life without them, They do everything that they can for me. I just wish life didn't have to be so unfair. Anyway I just wanted to let u know that there are other ppl out there that feel the same as u do. Hope this helps u bye
Posts: 5 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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