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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » was it rape?

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Author Topic: was it rape?
sweet_devil
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Member # 2560

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alright. I was at a party with my brother. my brother had asked me to watch and keep track of the keys of the ppl that wew drinking. I was drinking soda and I set it down to go to the bathroom. when I came back out I picked it up and started to drink it again. it tasted funny so I threw it away. I was standing by the counter and I was really dizzy. one of my brothers friends came to get another beer and he saw me on the floor. he picked my up and took me into the bedroom. I remember him asking if I wanted to have sex and then I passed out. I felt really funny after. I woke up and the guy was laying naked beside me. Then I realized that I was naked also. I asked him what happend but he wouldn;t tell me. Then about 2 days ago he confessed to what he did. I took him to court and he got 4 years jail time. he is 18-19 I don't remember and I don't really care.I'm in counsling and things are getting better. slowly.
Posts: 6 | From: Houtzdale,Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Hi there, and welcome to the boards!

I think you're a wonderfully brave girl for dealing with this the way you are. Putting him in jail and getting yourself counsling is difficult I'm sure, but never doubt that you're doing the right thing. Keep your chin up, sweetie!

~KittenGoddess

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"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."
~Jonathan Carroll


Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Welcome to the boards, sweet_devil, and thank you for sharing your story with us.

I'm posting to include a link to an earlier thread from rape and sexual abuse survuvors, just so that you know that you're definitely not alone here.
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000006.html

We're very glad to have you here.

Erin


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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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*hugs* hey there. I'm glad you posted your story. And I'm glad you came forward with what had happened. more often than not, rape goes unreported. I feel bad for those girls who suffer in silence. I hope you're getting through all right.

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Inspected by Number 26


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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*hugs* honey. I agree. I think you are incredibly brave and wonderful to tell us abour what happened.

I think it's great that you are going through counselling and I hope everytihng works out. We are all here for you hon. And remember, it was not your fault.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Sweet_devil, Welcome to the boards and *huggles* to you. Hope things are looking better for you.

Miz S wrote a really useful article on dealing with rape, it's definitely worth a read. - Sounds like you've handled many things really well already, now I hope you get to take your time to heal emotionally as well.

Lots of Love,
Alaska

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Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...


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ThisGuy
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Member # 968

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I've seen someone under the influence of date-rape drugs, and I can tell you this:

If you were drugged, you were in no condition to give your consent.

If he drugged you and took advantage of you, then it was rape.

Of course, I doubt that helps you deal with it. *Hugs*

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Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuss der ganzen Welt!


Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Also, here is a piece on date rape drugs for you:
http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/pages/drug_report.html

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I need to add something here in the interest of integrity and honesty, and to make sure that rape victims who read posts like these don't develop unrealistic expectations when it comes to prosecuting for rape.

It's possible something got lost in the posting of this in terms of explaining the timeline, and if so, please correct me.

However, you cannot fully prosecute a rape in this country in 48 hours: you can't even START to do so in that time frame. Even in the best-case scenario, where a victim remembers the crime very accurately, and gets into the police station or a crisis clinic IMMEDIATELY afterwards to collect evidence, it takes about 10 days just to get the return on that evidence on the most basic level, including HIV test results, all of which are vital before the process of prosecution can even begin. After those ten days at a minimum, it takes at least ten days more to even get a preliminary hearing, which is the first of many, many steps for rape prosecution. If you're lucky, a case can be completed in a couple of months. If you're not, it can take far longer. But it cannot take two days. It just can't.

IF you have been the victim of rape, it is VERY important that you get the a police station IMMEDIATELY afterward: without tangible evidence, and without your very detailed remembrance of the crime, prosecution is highly unlikely. Delayed reporting -- even by a couple days -- can usually (and unfortunately) guarantee that you don't have a case.

And of course, in the best of all possible worlds, you do whatever you can to avoid it happening in the first place: don't leave your drink sitting around at parties. Keep it in your hand at all times. Have a friend with you at all times. Don't hang out in groups of intoxicated people known or unknown to you. Use street smarts when you're out alone, and learn some basic self-defense techniques.

And if you are raped and do prosecute, as tough as it is, keep your expectations realistic and recognize that you will have to steel yourself for a long, long process, but it is usually worth the effort.

So, sweet_devil, I'm not sure exactly what is going on here, but if you haven't yet reported this and you want to, I'd encourage you to do so as soon as is humanly possible. And if you need some real-life support, we can find a rape crisis center in your area to get you some.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweet_devil
Neophyte
Member # 2560

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thank you all. Ive been so scared to tell anyone anything. I'm in counsling but it seems like that night keeps haunting me. I've been having really scary dreams and I don't know what to do. I'm on an antidepressant and I'm so scared to take any type of pill. even though I know its tylenol. plz help me!

Posts: 6 | From: Houtzdale,Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
india
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HI there: Your story is a sad one. I applaud your bravery. You are innocent. I am sorry that you are having bad dreams. That guy is lower than animal. how can he do that? even animals wont do that. pls dont get sad, it happened , it was not your fault, you even did not drink intentionally. i like clubbing, but i always keep in mind that it is the place where animals come as well in the face of human. so my advice is pls dont be sad its not your fault at all, the situation was bad. take care my friend. peace. love.
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