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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » All I Can Do Is Lie

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Author Topic: All I Can Do Is Lie
Pixie69
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Member # 406

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I don't know what to do...all I can do is lie. (Well I've never lied on here, let me just get that out of the way) It started off on AIM, I'd talk to people I didn't even know and just make very suggestive comments and stuff. And then I started talking to people that I kinda knew from school and made VERY suggestive comments until all we talked about was sex. And just today I've realized how bad it's gotten. I can't believe what I've turned into.

In health I was just acting like a total slut, flirting with all the guys and being practically all over them. Then in the next class this guy who sits in front of me is a big flirt. He's known for being pretty out there, he does drugs and he sells drugs and stuff. So anyways he asked me how far I'd gone and I just told him what I told everyone else and then some. It's like I just tell people what they want to hear or what they expect me to say. I told him that I had given a blowjob twice and all this other stuff when in reality I've only been fingered and jacked a guy off (and neither of us came)

And then he said to me, "brittany being so open about that won't make people like you more. in fact i've lost a lot of respect for you" and then I realized what I've done. I can't believe I said that to him and I can't believe he said that to me...I just don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. I've lied to all my best friends about this and I've lied to sooo many people and basically everyone thinks I'm a cheap whore. And it's all because of me...

I just took an icy cold shower and I've decided I don't want to be like this any more! I hate myself for it and... I just don't know. the perfect quote for me is "what a tangled web we weave" and it's sooo true. I just don't know what to do, I've told so many lies and made so many comments even *I* barely know what the truth is anymore. Please, just offer some advice or some support or something because I hate who I've become. I don't know how to go back and I don't know how to tell people what I've done to them...

Oh just please help...

YouKnowMe

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I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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Member # 1207

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Okie ... first off, i've been there. I think everyone in their lifetime lies about something, and once you start one lie, you have to continue w/ others to cover the first one. It's like dominoes or something ...

But that guy was right ya know? The more people you tell what you've done to, they just look at you differently. You're lucky he said that to you or you'd still be going ... anyone would. Ya just need one person to smack you back into reality, and it looks like you found him.

Why was he asking anyway? If someone else asks you, tell them to mind their own business! It's really no ones business how far you've gone and who it was w/ or anything like that. Unless you have yourself in a truth or dare situation and that doesn't sound like school to me ...

Well i hope things work out for you Brit


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
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Hey, Pix.

I don't have a ton of advice to offer on this situation, not at the moment. I'd have to think it over.

But one immediate reaction was that I DON'T really agree with Smurfy, here. you said:

"And then he said to me, "brittany being so open about that won't make people like you more. in fact i've lost a lot of respect for you""

I think by saying that, he proved himself to be a jerk. BEing open about things can be uncomfortable to people, but it will make people respect you, too - I think the real issue is telling the truth.

As for thinking you're some major slut, cool it on that, too. Don't beat yourself up, hon, we all do dumb things sometimes.

Why don't you look at WHY you were saying these things?

~lem


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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pixie, correct me if i'm completely off base, but do you feel like there's a motivation for you to prove that your are not a goody li'l two shoes? i know that feeling, it's driven me to do a lot of (stupid) things.

i'm sorry you feel bad about the matter. but y'know what? we know, and you know that you are a good person. what else do you feel you have to prove?

if you insist on toning your act down, then that's alright. i think the real jam in this case is that people are getting a one-dimensional picture of you. that's not you. that's not the bright, level-headed pixie we all know and love. go ahead and show them that you're smart and witty. if a different perception is what you want from them, then you can give them that by showing that there is more to you that being a naughty li'l nymphet (and you don't even have to give up that side of you).

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if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixie69
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Thanks you guys. I think he kinda knew I was lying and that's why he said that. I just found out that his little brother is this guy I know. We were in spanish and we learned how to say angel and I was like, "yeah that's me!" and the guy was like, "My little brother has told me about you, don't even act like you're an angel!" and I was like, "I'm not that bad!" and that's how the whole conversation got started.

Gumdrop you're pretty on the mark. All through elementary school I was this total goody-goody geek. At recess I'd just sit down and read. (But hey, I wore pedal pushers in fifth grade and then EVERYONE started wearing them, next thing you know the capri phenomenom hit us!) And then in middle school I was just sick of it so I got bad grades (for me a bad grade is a C) and then I just kept doing stuff until it god bad. In eighth grade I got drunk and I started going out with 16 and 17 y/o's and I figured that they'd want to do stuff so I just did it.

Since basically a lot of people know now if anyone says anything I'm just going to say "I was young and stupid and people change" Hey three weeks ago I was younger then I am now, right?

Well anymore comments and stuff would be appreciated. Thankyou lemming, gumdrop, and smurfy

Brittany

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I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brandy
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pixie,

I wouldn't worry too much about what that guy said. Everyone eventually feels that they need to prove themselves, to show people that their not the goody-two shoes everyone thinks they are.
This guy is a jerk. Only a jerk would say something like that. Maybe he didn't expect you to be so bold, and to cover his suprise, he put you down to make himself look good.
If people judge you negatively for what you've said, then their not people worth knowing. It's the people who treat you the same and appreciate you openess that count.


Posts: 46 | From: Winnepeg, MB, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ThisGuy
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*Hugs*

Sounds like you're in something of a nasty place.
Everyone makes mistakes. The smart ones move on and don't make the same mistakes again.

You strike me as somewhat smarter than average...

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You vil vear ze condoms, or ve vil use ze hot pokers!


Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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